Pain

31

[a/n : again, done in iPhone so bare with me...]

"Whose your little friend over there?" Evangeline asks me, as I walk into the room in which we have our sessions. Louis was outside the glass doors, reading an "eat right!" Magazine, looking very confused, if I do say so myself.

"Who would actually, in their right mind, eat that crap?" I heard him say, closing the magazine.

"Louis Tomlinson." I sighed happily. Eva gave me a look of approval, coming to realization he's in one direction.

"Please, sit down." My therapist instructed me, pointing to a chair directly across from her own. She sat in hers, as I did mine, and crossed her legs as she placed a notepad in her lap, holding a pen.

"Chanel... How have you been up to, you know, since last week?"

"Oh, you know. Same old same old." I answered honestly.

"Any suicide attempts, self harm issues... You know, the things your inclined to tell me about?" She dragged her pen to her bottom lip, and tapped it there repeatedly. Bad habit, I presume.

I glanced at Louis for a brief moment, to see he was staring at me.

"Chanel?"

"Yeah, sorry?"

Evangeline sighed, and stared at me for a minute.

"Have you had any suicide attempts, or self harm issues lately?"

"Yesterday I tried to kill myself." I confessed, looking at my fidgeting hands. I actually didn't mean to blurt that out, way to go Chanel. I literally want to pat myself on the fucking back.

I could tell Eva was trying to hide her concern, as she said her next question.

"Wh- wha- why- what happened?" She asked, pretending to write something down on her notepad. I rolled my eyes.

"My parents are getting divorced."

"Oh." She started to tap her lip with the pen again, and she wrote what I just said down on her notepad.

"Yeah. so next month is going to be held in court, watching my parents fill out papers, and seeing an attorney actually make it official." My annoyance with the situation was growing stronger, as I sat here and said this to her.

"I know you hate this question, so bare with me here, but how does that make you feel?" She was right, and when she asked that I grew agitated.

I didn't speak for a few minutes, and so Evangeline spoke up.

"Please answer the question, honey. I know it's not your favourite, but it's what I need to know in order to help you." She insisted, and I agreed to tell her how I felt about everything.

"I feel broken and lost. I feel confused and lonely. I feel like everything that's happening in my life is all my fault. I feel like I'm slowly slipping away from reality, and nobody is there to catch me when I fall. I feel like I'm breaking apart, and I'm so scared."

Tears left my eyes, and rolled shamefully down my cheeks, my eyes grew red and puffy. I was a sorry sight too see, but that didn't matter.

"Oh, honey." Eva sighed, and rushed over to hug me. When she embraced me, I just lost whatever control I had, and started uncontrollably sobbing. What had my life turned into? She stroked my hair, and whispered soothing words into my ear as I cried.

"If and when you are ready, we should really start the session back up. We have half an hour left still." Eva spoke gently. I nodded, and wiped my tears with the back of my hand.

--

"Have a good day sweetie! And remember, don't ever hesitate to call me." Evangeline blew a kiss towards me, waved at Louis, smiled, and went back in the room we were previously in.

"Session went well, I assume?" Louis asked, taking in my appearance. I only nodded, and walked ahead of him to the car. He was adjusting his disguise as he walked out.

Louis:

When Chanel was in the session with whoever that women was, I got a call from simon, telling me that we start work back up in two days. I groaned, (maybe a tad dramatically..) and he also informed me that we get to stay and extra week in whitby, which I should probably tell Chanel. I hope she'll be thrilled. I should probably tell her now... It seems like the perfect time since were both in the car at the moment.

"Hey Chanel?" I cocked my head to the side for a brief moment to look at her, so I could see her beautiful face, and i turned my attention back to the road.

"Mhm?" She mumbled, reading a story on her iPhone.

"Simon called earlier, and informed me that the boys and I can stay an extra week." I turned my head once again, and saw her look from her phone to me. She held the most gorgeous grin I could ever see on her, and for a brief moment, I saw the life jump back into her eyes. I diverted my attention back to the road, and made a sharp left.

"That's great to hear... I don't know what I would do if you guys left. Especially since I'm going back to school tomorrow. Everyone's still overly upset with me over the whole harry break up shit."

I feel really bad for her, and I try not to think about what she said.

*I don't know what I would do if you guys left*

I don't even want to think about that. She could do a lot of things when we leave.

"Maybe you just need to date another guy, to even things out, or 'get back' with Harry, and break up with him civilly?" I suggested, with a hopefulness that she would say no to both. I don't want her to date anyone other then m-

"No, I'm so done with relationships. There was zayn and Perrie, Harry and I, Liam and Danielle, my parents, and you and Eleanor. They always end up badly, so what's the point?" She asked me, folding her arms, pursing her lips, and looking towards the road ahead. I pulled up in my driveway, and turned off the ignition.

"How did you know about Eleanor and I?" My heart started to race. Why?

"Evangeline gave me a few minutes to go on my phone, and I read it on the internet. Mostly twitter. It's surprising how many Larry shippers are going wild at the moment." She snickered, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah... Sorry for not telling you. Too much shit was going downhill." I apologized, and we both walked into the house, without saying a word.