Scars Of The Past || Jerrie

Eighteen

Perrie

I pressed on the gas pedal, nudging my car's speed up another five miles per hour. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, wary of taking the tight curves of Highway 1 so quickly. But I would risk it, if I could get to Jade's house any faster.

Three days. That's how long it had been since we spoke. I had called multiple times, left voice mails ranging from casual to concerned, and even broke down and sent two e-mails. And I received no response. Not even a one-word reply to let me know that she was all right.

Though we'd barely spoken since that day on the beach, at least before my date she returned my phone calls. We might have been trading voice mails, but at least I knew she was alive. Now it was as though she had simply vanished. I could understand one day of no contact. By the second day, I was mildly concerned. After three days, I had a hard time convincing myself that something wasn't very wrong.

Our last phone call hadn't gone well. She hadn't done a good job of hiding her reaction to the news of my date, though I wasn't entirely certain what that reaction meant. Clearly she hadn't liked the idea, whether she didn't want to hear about me being with a woman or because she was jealous of someone else taking my attention. Either way, I didn't like it.

Hatchi sat in the passenger seat, and as always, I was grateful he was there to play the role of therapist. "I don't know what she wants me to do," I told him. "I have to start dating again at some point." It didn't help that I would have rather spent that evening with her. Ally from IT was nice, but she wasn't Jade Thirlwall. On the other hand, at least Ally had the potential to return my feelings, if I ever developed any. Loving Jade was not only pointless, it was painful. And it had to end, no matter how impossible that seemed.

Of course, her silence might have nothing to do with my dating life. Maybe something had happened to her. Who would she have listed as an emergency contact if she had been in an accident? Or what if—God forbid—she had harmed herself? Things had been a little rough lately, but she had been improving tremendously. An icy shard of dread pierced my throat, making it hard to breathe.

Please don't let her have given up.

I floored the accelerator as hard as I dared, now less than a mile from her house. If something had happened and I got there too late, I would never forgive myself.

When I pulled up to Jade's house and spotted her truck in the driveway, I felt relief. There hadn't been a car accident, at least. I exhaled, not realizing until that moment how intense that fear had been. After Shay, unanswered phone calls seemed to hint at tragic consequences.

I parked quickly and called Hatchi out of the car behind me, anxious to knock on the door. Hatchi sprinted ahead to the porch, looking like I felt. Desperate to get inside, to see his friends.

I stepped onto the front porch, noting a slight movement through the front window. A shadow, probably in the den, too tall to be Jackson. Relief surged through my veins, followed by a dose of anger.

So Jade was alive. Why was she avoiding my calls?

I banged on the front door. "Jade?"

The shadow went still.

When she made no move to approach the door, I knocked again. "Jade, I know you're in there. Please open up." My anger dissipated in a flash and sad confusion took its place, filling my eyes with tears. "I don't know what I did to deserve this, but please let's talk about it."

After a moment, the shadow disappeared from my line of sight. I tilted my head, listening for footsteps. I heard the jingling of Jackson's tags first, then the clomping of his enormous paws. Straightening up, I wiped my eyes, not wanting her to see me cry. I was pathetic enough, being in love with a straight woman. I needed to be strong. If she didn't want to be my friend anymore, I couldn't do anything about it.