Scars Of The Past || Jerrie

Ten

Perrie

I woke up with a groan, disappointed as hell that Hatchi had decided to whine to be let out just as I was nearing Jade for a long-anticipated kiss. My dream slipped away quickly, leaving behind scant traces of the warm intimacy. I longed to stay in that fuzzy in-between place on the edge of waking, to bask a little longer in the sense of closeness I'd lost with Shay. Hatchi whined louder, then scratched at my bedroom door.

"Couldn't you have waited five more minutes?" My lament appeared to have no effect on his bladder, so I threw off my comforter with a sigh. Time to get up, whether I liked it or not. It was probably for the best. I shouldn't be dreaming about my new—and very platonic—friend. "Just saving me from myself, is that it?"

Hatchi's next noise indicated he couldn't care less about saving me, but if I wanted to save my carpet, I'd better start moving. I hurried to let him out, following close behind as he dashed to the den and pranced around in front of the sliding door. Once he was safely in the backyard, I collapsed onto the couch and closed my eyes, thinking back to the day before.

I'd dropped Hatchi off at Jade's house in the morning, and when I returned for him after work, she had greeted me with dinner for two. Despite her self-proclaimed microwave-chef status, Jade made delicious homemade fajitas, and we'd enjoyed a second meal together that was markedly less tense than the first. I was even able to sit back and let her carry the conversation with excited chatter about her day's progress with Hatchi's agility training.

Apparently their first session together had been a success and Hatchi was getting the hang of the new equipment. To my surprise, she had downloaded plans from the Internet and built homemade weave poles from PVC pipe, as well as a tire jump and a teeter board. She glowed with an obvious sense of accomplishment, and Hatchi seemed happy too, and tired, which was always nice.

I wished I could share everyone else's contentedness. Though I was thrilled with how well she seemed to be doing, and grateful that Hatchi had something more fulfilling to do with his days than sit in my office, I was uneasy about what this friendship meant for me. My attraction to Jade was growing, no longer within my control, and I suddenly had a gut-churning desire to be in love again, to share my days with someone other than Hatchi. After I had avoided intimacy for five years, my heart had seemingly decided to betray me and yearn for love. I didn't want to be alone anymore.

"This is stupid," I said out loud. "If I really wanted a relationship, I wouldn't be pining over someone so completely unavailable." These feelings were a defense mechanism, nothing more, which could only hurt me more than help. "Goddamn it, Leigh-Anne was right."

The phone rang, rousing me from my reverie. Suspecting it was Leigh-Anne having somehow intuited that I had just granted her a point, I reached over the coffee table and fumbled around until I located the cordless handset.

"Hello?"

"Hey," a quiet voice at the other end said, instantly sending a pleasant shiver down my spine. "This is Jade. Thirlwall."

Chuckling, I squeezed my thighs together to ward off the pleasure of hearing Jade's shy voice. "How are you this morning, Jade Thirlwall?"

"I'm good." she cleared her throat. "I hope I didn't wake you?"

"Not at all. Hatchi took care of that."

"Good. Better his fault than mine."

I beamed. This was the first time Jade had called me. I was glad to have some proof that I wasn't simply harassing my new friend, that this thing, whatever it was, wasn't entirely one-sided. "He likes to sleep in on the days we have to get up early to work. But when I have a chance to sleep in, his bladder gets weak."

"Naturally." she paused so long I considered fishing for the reason behind this unexpected call, but then she said, "What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing exciting." I held my breath at the awkward breakthrough I sensed I was witnessing. Did she really plan to invite me to do something? "Maybe watching a movie or playing a video game."

"I got some movies from Netflix. I, uh... Did you want to come over and watch one with me?"

Closing my eyes, I tried to will my heart not to start beating faster. This wasn't a date, for God's sake. I needed to internalize that this was a platonic friendship, nothing more. If I didn't, I might lose it. "That sounds like fun. Do you want me to bring something?"

"Oh. Um." she stuttered like she hadn't been expecting me to accept and was trying to figure out what to say next. "Sure, if you want."

"Anything in particular?" I tried not to let her hear my smile. This type of thing was obviously difficult for her and she probably had no idea how damn cute she sounded. Yeah, I've got it bad.

"Oh! Um, popcorn?"

"Perfect. I did tell you that the microwave is my specialty."

"That's what I heard." she sounded as though she was relaxing. She was likely stroking Jackson's head as we spoke. She always reached out to Jackson when she began to get anxious, and Jackson was always right there waiting when she needed him.

"Five o'clock?" I asked.

"That sounds great. Thank you."

The relief in her voice indicated that she was eager to hang up. How hard was it for her to pick up the phone and put herself out there like this? Touched by her devotion to our friendship, I vowed to shut down any thoughts of romance once and for all. Jade deserved a friend who respected her limits and truly understood what it took for her to trust.

Humbled, I put my hand over my heart, willing it back into check. "No, Jade, thank you."

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Hi guys, I'm sorry it took a while for this update. I'll make it up to you.. 😇😇

- R 💋💋