Scars Of The Past || Jerrie

Seventeen

Perrie

I glanced at the display on my buzzing cell phone. Jade Thirlwall. A powerful wave of relief loosened the knot that had constricted my stomach for almost a week now. Since Jade's panic attack on the beach, we had been playing phone tag. Hatchi hadn't even been to her house for the past few days. Was she intentionally returning my calls when she knew I would be at work?

This morning I had decided to carry my cell phone in the pocket of my scrub pants, and luckily her call came between appointments. "I'll be in my office," I told Aaron as I hurried down the back hallway. I opened the phone quickly, not wanting yet another voice mail that gave me no clue about how she was feeling.

"Hello." I cringed at the way my voice came out so breathlessly.

"Hey." Jade sounded quiet. Maybe embarrassed. "Caught you finally."

"Yeah, I just finished an appointment. Rhodesian ridgeback, broken leg. Beautiful dog, and so sweet." I was babbling, but I tended to do that when things were awkward. What happened on the beach had been emotionally intense, and my feelings for her had been close to the surface. How much had she seen, and did she understand exactly what it meant?

"I'm sorry. I know you're working. I planned to leave a voice mail."

"It's no problem." I closed my office door and sat on the couch next to Hatchi, who was just waking up. "This is better than another voice mail."

"Yeah, it is." Sounding hesitant, she said, "I miss you."

My heart leapt. I had nearly convinced myself that she realized exactly how I felt about her, and that's why she was so distant. That she was avoiding me because she couldn't deal with my feelings, no matter how hard I tried to keep a lid on them. Thank God I hadn't sabotaged our friendship with that hug or the arousal our physical closeness had triggered. "I miss you, too."

"Do you want to have dinner tonight? I know it's last minute, but—" she cleared her throat. "I could make burgers or something."

Jade would call today, of all days. Deflated, I said, "I'd love to, but I actually have plans tonight."

"Oh." She didn't hide her surprise very well. "With Leigh-Anne?"

I couldn't quite put my finger on something in her tone. Could it be jealousy? "Not Leigh-Anne. A friend of hers, though. Leigh-Anne arranged it."

"Oh."

"Like a blind date, I guess," I said in a rush. Why was it so difficult to explain myself? More importantly, why did I feel the need to? "Leigh-Anne pestered me to let her set us up, and I finally gave in." I laughed, aware that the sound lacked humor. "Leigh-Anne usually gets what she wants."

"That must be nice for Leigh-Anne." Her voice sounded softer, as though she weren't holding the phone close enough to her mouth. "Well, I thought I'd check, anyway. You have a good time."

I would love to cancel my date and see Jade instead. And that was exactly the problem. I needed to start looking at my romantic life as something separate from her, and just as important. "We could do something tomorrow night," I said. "If you're free."

"I'll call you." It was clear she wanted to hang up. "See you later."

I knew I was being blown off. I inhaled, stunned by how much the words felt like a slap in the face. "Okay." When she didn't say anything else, I checked my cell phone display to find that the call had ended. Tears stung my eyes as I flipped my phone closed. Then I kicked off my shoes and curled up on the couch.

Hatchi crawled toward me from his spot at the other end, stretching so he rested against my body. He had an uncanny ability to offer comfort when I was upset. Wrapping an arm around his back, I buried my face in his neck and sighed.