Your Sweet Six Six Six | Sitkolson [C]

Chapter 37 | One of the Good Ones

"...Do you?"

Ricky felt as if his lungs were going to collapse. He glanced up at Ryan for just a split second, but it hurt to look at him. Now he knows how Ryan felt when he confessed his feelings earlier. It's one of the most stress inducing things he'd ever done in his life. He was nearly ready for a panic attack. 

"I-I, uh- I..." He stammered on, "Wh-When Ryder touched me, i-it felt wrong. I felt uncomfortable... But, when you do... It feels nice, and I hate when you stop, a-and, I... I don't know if I feel that way because we've been friends for so long... Or... If- If there's something else there." 

Ryan set his hands down on the counter as a means to control himself. He sighed, thoughts running through his head. If he was like Ryder, he'd take advantage of this moment, but he wasn't him. He wasn't going to do that to Ricky. 

"Like I said, I won't push you. You've been through a lot lately and I'd understand if you need some time to process through all your emotions. I don't want to force you into anything, but if there is anything I can do to help, I'm here."

"But, that's the thing! Nothing ever feels forced with you." Ricky responded, finally able to look at him. "With Ryder, I felt like I had to... But, when I'm around you, nothing ever feels forced. My happiness, it's never forced. It just comes to me naturally." 

He didn't know the best way to answer. There was no clear response from Ricky on whether or not he felt romantic feelings towards Ryan. The fact that there was no obvious "no" gave him hope, but he has yet to hear an actual "yes, I like you that way". Until those words left his mouth, Ryan wasn't going to journey down that path with him. He just wasn't that kind of man.

"Ricky-" He began to speak, but stopped when the smaller suddenly grabbed his hand. 

Ricky set his other hand gently on Ryan's shoulder. He looked up at him with glassy eyes. "What?" 

Honestly, he didn't even know what he was about to say. Stood only an inch away from the boy he'd fallen for, having a conversation he thought would never happen, stole all his breath away. Ricky was beyond beautiful. Even without any makeup and tired eyes, he was flawless. His perfection and softness tempted Ryan like a siren's song. He couldn't help himself anymore.

Ryan placed his hand along Ricky's jawline and held his face gently. He wasn't objecting, which gave him a glimmer of hope. Slowly, he started to tilt his head inward. Not even an inch before he reached his lips, the lights suddenly went out. Ryan felt Ricky squeeze his hand out of fear. He quickly broke from his love-induced trance and frantically looked for a form of light. 

Finally, he found a flashlight on the counter and flicked it on. "You okay?" He whispered.

Well, he was going to be. Ricky didn't give a verbal response. Instead, he finally took the jump that Ryan was too scared to make. He placed his hands on Ryan's shoulders to help pull himself up to his height and smashed their lips together. Truthfully, he still wasn't fully sure how he felt, but it was killing him not knowing. Ryan was so shocked, he dropped the flashlight in his hand. 

After the initial surprise wore off, he attended to the messiness of their kiss. Ryan snaked one hand around his waist, the other traveling along his jawline and into his hair. He repositioned his lips on Ricky's and gave him a proper kiss. It was obvious Ricky was inexperienced, but he didn't mind. He found it adorable.

If it weren't for the fact that they needed to catch their breath, they probably would've stayed like that for an hour. They both gasped upon parting. Only a minor amount of moonlight seeped in through the kitchen window. It was just enough to gloss over their irises. They could see the other staring at them in the darkness. Neither seemed upset about the encounter.

"You said earlier that it felt forced when Ryder kissed you. Did that feel forced too? Or did it feel right?" Ryan asked.

"It felt right." Ricky moved in closer and set his head against his chest. He pulled at his sleeves, liking the way it was oversized from being Ryan's. "You feel right. This feels right." 

He wrapped his around around Ricky tightly and swayed with him a little bit. "I swear, when I wake up in the morning, this better not be just a dream."

"I mean that much to you?" He muttered.

"Of course you do." Ryan responded, finding it almost humorous he'd say something so ridiculous. "That, and much more. The only reason I waited this long to tell you how I felt is because I was scared of losing you. You've been a part of my life for almost as long as I've been alive." 

"How long has this been going on? That you've been keeping this from me?" Ricky asked.

"When we were younger, I remember having those thoughts, but back then I told myself they were wrong and I shouldn't think them. It wasn't until about seventh grade that I started to tell myself it was okay to like you. Once I kinda, gave myself permission, that's when things went from zero to a hundred instantly. I fell for you hard, and it didn't help that you just kept getting hotter the older you got."

He laughed softly, "Well, if that's the case, imagine what I'll look like when I'm finally out of puberty."

"Fuck, you'll definitely be way out of my league by then." Ryan joked.

"So... Does that mean, we're, uh... A thing?" 

Ryan gently petted over his hair as he looked down at him, "No, not yet anyway. I want a chance to ask you out properly. I might be a terrible human being in most regards, but my mother did raise a gentleman. Plus, I think you still need time to let this all sink in."

"Okay." He muttered, "I know you think you're a terrible human being, but you're actually one of the good ones."

"Nahh, I'm fucking awful to almost everyone that draws breath. But, I save all my love and care for a handful of people. You being one of them." Ryan leaned down and picked the flashlight back up. "C'mon. Let's get back to bed. I think we'll both sleep a little better now."

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a/n: i gave you an update same day so i'm not totally a cunt

but hey when they do finally get to go on an official date, what should they do for the date? 

also, should ryan ask him out in a super cheesy way? if so, how?