#38 The time has turned 'up' to give me trust.

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#38 The time has turned 'up' to give me trust.
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Eli

"Eli could you have been any more of a jerk?"

The sight of her green eyes widening, filling with anger and tears, made me feel terrible. "Fay wait!" I yell, running after her like the idiot I am.

I just said probably one of the worse things I could ever say to the girl I deeply care for. And now I've also demolished every speck of hope, I had for her ever requiting these feelings I have back. As I run past all the hectic loud noises, burning alcoholic fumes and many human beings I keep my eye focused on her bright blonde strawberry waves, as they fly behind her, and her vibrant, rosy coat.

Running behind her, we escape the noisy, people filled house, and make our way onto the lonely street. It's dimly dark, and frozenly quiet out. Nothing but the sound of her gasping for air as she runs can be heard throughout this lonesome street. The air is thickly cold, and still, incasing us.

Finally, I catch up to her and grab her wrist, trying my best to hold her still. Her face turns to mine, full of pain and irritation. With her brows crunched and her pale lips pulled into a frown, trembling. As her spearmint bulbs grow with tears trying to escape.

I'm such an idiot! I got a little jealous just because some guy took interest in her. That happens Eli! She's an unusual, weird, but interesting person, so of course people are going to be lining up to talk with her.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean that! Please, just don't cry. Yell at me, call me something in big words that I don't understand, or even slap me. Just don't cry," I state, grabbing her shoulders to hold her still.

"What you said was quite painful. I'm not going to hide that," She states sternly. Her sage bulbs dart away. 

"I know, I'm sorry. You've been acting weirder than usual lately, and I was just worried, since you're having problems, that you might be handling them in the wrong way." I for one should not be giving advice on that.

She sighs, keeping her eyes closed. "That doesn't mean you can say things like that. One, and two, you really think I'm the type of person who'd go to a party and do stupid stuff, or get myself into trouble with people, just because I'm having a difficult controversy?"

"No. But I was still worried! You never know what the people around you might do, and when someone's feeling upset, or having a difficult time, they usually don't act like themselves," I state, knowing that best.

She sighs shakily, with her eyes still shut, then taking in a deep breath. "How much did she tell you?"

"Not a lot," I mumble, still holding her shoulders, I can feel her tremble. "But I want to know more."

She opens her eyes, that have seemed to completely throw away all the pain, irritation and tears; replacing them with an empty and dull color. "You're not going to like this story. Or see me the same way. Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

☕︎

The air was chillier than usual as we drove fast threw New York's loud, but empty feeling, night streets. Her arms around my waste as we drive fast towards our destination. She wanted to leave and go where it was peaceful, and no one we knew was around, so that she could tell me whatever's been on her mind.

The fact that she's willing to tell me, just shows that she trusts me. I feel like I've won some sort of prize or treasure to know that she trusts me enough to tell me her past. Although this wining feeling, is followed with a bit of fear and doubt. This place that I've decided to take her to is New York's beautiful Brooklyn Bridge.

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