Fate (A Bleach Fanfiction)

Chapter 82: Fighting Myself

Kuroki's pov

I woke up with a start, I had a nightmare about what I had currently went through after being kidnapped. I shot upright and panted heavily, as sweat trickled down my temple. "It was just a dream, nothing but a dream." I said in attempt to calm myself down, but I knew that it was real. That damn bastard got away with Seiji, I clenched the sheet tightly with my fists as I growled lowly in anger. "Damn.... How could I let this happen? When did I become so weak?" Tears filled my eyes, but I blinked them away and shook my head. Eli thought he could break me, well, it seemed he succeeded in that. I can't believe I let him get away with it, with hurting me. It's only been a few days since then, with me usually staying in bed and losing consciousness often. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and by now I had realized I was still at Kisuke's place not at home, where I would have liked to be. I wanted to just curl up in my bed and have my sisters and my Dad be by my side, I've been through a lot these past few days. I stood up but a pain shot through my side and I groaned, gripping onto the bed. I haven't heard anything from Kana, which is a good and bad thing. I took a deep breathe, standing back up ignoring the pain and walked out of the room.

"Do you think Kuroki will be alright?" I hid behind the wall and peeked out, seeing everyone sitting around Kisuke's table. I could see just how worried Ichigo and the others were for my well being. "I'm not sure. She didn't look me in the eyes and that's something she always did when she was okay. I don't think she'll be okay, not after what Eli did." Toshihiro looked down, "I think she'll be okay," Rei still had that stoic look on his face, "And why do you think that?" Kisuke asked, taking a sip of his tea. "Because, she's a strong girl. If you knew her from around the time she was 10, you would have known that she is a strong girl. She might have her own way of dealing with things, but she is strong." These words brought tears to my eyes, because he was wrong. I'm not strong, I never was. The only way I seemed strong, was because I had my anger and threats to back it up. I also had Ichigo by my side, which made me seem strong. But Rei was wrong, I am not as strong as he thinks I am. I balled up my fists and ran off, out of the house. I ran as fast as I could, until I reached the tree that I used to climb up when I was younger.

It was after my mother died that I had started coming here and the only person who knows where this place is, is Ichigo.

I panted heavily and slumped against the big oak tree, memories of the Eli sticking me with various needles and touching me to get to what he wanted flashed making me close my eyes. I shook my head and punched the tree, "I shouldn't be this weak!! Damnit!" I punched the tree again, "I can't be weak for their sake! Why am I such a damn failure?!" I repeatedly punched it, causing a big crater to form. "Why?" I shut my eyes tightly, hanging my head. "You know, I knew you would eventually break." I lifted my head to the side, seeing Kana standing there. "How did you even manifest yourself?" I gave her the meanest glare I could muster, I honestly hated her. She was the worst part of me, "Oh well, it's just because of your powers. Anyways, I knew that you would eventually break. You know why?" I stared at her for a moment, "Well, it's quite simple. You were never strong to begin with. You only used the influence from your brother and friends. That's why it was so easy to take over your body. It's because you allowed me too, I could tell you wanted him dead. Heh, you know that is true." My eyes widened, "You always knew deep down that you were not as strong as you thought you were. And you are now realizing what I'm saying is the truth. You'll never be strong enough to keep me from taking over your body. You'll never be strong enough to protect the ones you love. You weren't even strong enough to save your mother." I shut my eyes and covered my ears, "That's not true!!" I yelled at her, "Oh but it is." She cackled hysterically, "You know it is true!" She kicked me, knocking on to my side.

"Stop it!!! You're lying!!!" I yelled at her, "Hahahahahaha, you seriously believe that I'm lying. You know deep down that it's true! You know that you will never be strong enough!! You weren't strong enough to keep your brother from nearly dying. You couldn't save him even when he became a hollow." I shook my head, not wanting to hear her.

"You're wrong, Kana! You're nothing but a monster that lives in my head! You don't know anything! You don't know how it feels to have a family or friends that count on you!! So you can't lecture me about anything!" I shouted, I couldn't accept the words she told me that easily.

"Haha, Don't blame me for you not being strong. I don't need family or people to make realize my weaknesses." Kana laughed, making me angry. I stood up and punched the tree, but noticed she was no longer standing there. "Kuro, you need to calm down. Freaking out isn't the best option it's only going to cause you more pain." I blocked out Yuki, not wanting to hear anything or anyone else. I decided to climb the tree and sat on a high branch.

"Kuro!!! I know you're here!" I looked down to see Ichigo but not only him, everyone else was there. I climbed onto a higher branch, not wanting to be seen. "I thought you said she was here." Renji hit Ichigo, "She is here, she's just hiding. And it's probably because you all here!!! I told you not to follow me, seeing as this is her private place." Ichigo got in Renji's face, "But we were all worried about her. She's been through a lot these past few days." Renji got into Ichigo's face, making Rukia sigh. "You don't think I know that!!" Ichigo growled, suddenly the two were separated by none other than Rukia. She dragged Renji away and everyone followed after her.

"They're gone now, Kuro. Look I know you are feeling hurt and sad. I know you've been through a lot these past few days." I climbed down the tree and walked out from behind it. "Ichigo, I'm not strong enough." Tears sprung out of the corners of my eyes, "What do you mean?" He stepped forward, while I stepped back. "It's exactly what I mean! I'm not strong enough. I wasn't strong enough to protect you from Byakuya the first time around. I wasn't strong enough to protect mom!" His eyes softened, "Listen Kuro, you know that isn't true. Look, I know that you think you aren't strong but you are. You have to share your feelings with your family sometimes. I know you feel alone, but you aren't alone. You have me and you have Jushiro and the others. If you are that terrified of losing to yourself, then become stronger." My eyes widened, listening to his words. "Listen to me, the Kuroki I know doesn't give up. She is one to never back down without a fight and has always been strong through everything that has happened." He said, shaking his head.

"Ichigo, that's not true. I'm not as strong as you think. I only thought I was strong because of my anger, threats and I had you to back me up." Ichigo marched up to me and smacked me across the face, he took a small step back and I stared at him with wide eyes. I wasn't expecting him to do that, but I didn't blame him for it.

"Kuroki, that is not true. You are the strongest person I know, you can't possibly think that your anger, your threats and me always influenced you. Do you realize that you've always been strong? If you are that afraid of your hollow side then become stronger to crush it. You've always been strong no matter what happened. You got back up after fighting Toshihiro, you got back up even after Aizen had hurt you and you got back up after Seiji betrayed you. You are strong, believe it or not. You've always been my strong little sister." These words made me cry, "Ichigo, thank you." I rubbed my eyes and Ichigo gave me a hug, as I cried into him. How did I end up with such an amazing twin?