I've packed all of Emma's bags ready for her leaving today. We don't know how long she's going to be in the rehabilitation clinic but we know it'll be for a while, until she gets better.
I rang the lads when Emma fell asleep last night to inform them what's been going on lately. They all feel immensely guilty about how they treated her, a lot like I do; they all blocked her out, and it was the most selfish and childish thing we've all done. Which reminds me I have to apologise to Hayley too, I was so harsh to her, I should have believed in my wife and not disowned her, leaving Hayley to take care of her broken shell.
Hayley was a true friend to Emma and I am eternally grateful. She believed in her when I didn't and she basically saved her life, I don't even know how to begin to thank her.
She likes marshmallows right?
I have no idea, but I'll do something she'll really like. She deserves it after everything she's done for both Emma and myself.
All of Emma's packed bags are sat waiting at the front door. I asked if the nurses could help me take her to the car considering she is too weak to walk by herself, I've decided I'll take the bags while they carry her. But I have to tell her first, and I don't think she'll be very happy about it.
The doorbell sounds and I already know who it is. I can't believe I'm doing this to her, but it's for the best right? Tearing her away from her home and replacing it with a pristine and clinically white room. I'm such a terrible husband. "Come on in," I tell the two nurses, stood expectantly in their matching uniforms. "Sorry that you have to come down here."
"It's fine, don't worry about it." One of them smiles up at me, her face looking natural and her rosy cheeks making her appear friendly and approachable.
"She's upstairs," I tell them watching as they follow behind me in the direction of our bedroom. I can tell they're in awe, our house is borderline impressive but it's fairly normal too; we never wanted anything fancy, just private. You've probably already realised that we're not extravagant people, we prefer the simple things. "Wait here, I'll go and tell her." My smile softly appears, only to receive one back from the both of them. It's like everyone is sympathising with me, and they know how painful it must be for me.
The door creaks open as it has done for the last two and a half years that we've lived here, Emma's body lies frail on the bed as she sleeps peacefully for once; apparently it's good that she does, Hayley told me she never used to sleep well at her house.
My feet pad over to Emma's side of the bed, sitting beside her gently and running my fingers across her cheek in an adoring gesture. "Wake up baby, come on." I whisper lowly, allowing her to stir awake and glance up at me inquisitively.
"Harry?" She asks and my heart breaks. I don't want her to go but every ounce of me is saying that I've made the right decision and that she's going to get better.
"Yeah baby, it's me. I need you to get up." She groans in pain slightly but still manages to sit up properly, her tiny arms barely supporting her weight. "Dr Lake told me yesterday that you have PPD. That stands for Postpartum Depression and he wants you to go to a rehabilitation clinic, two nurses are here for you sweetie." I inform her gently, my voice light and soft whilst I tell her the news.
"No, no, no, no-" she shakes her head at me pleadingly. The sight tearing me apart as I attempt to reason with her, but she simply doesn't want to go, she's scared and frightened with the thought of being alone again.
"Baby please, you'll be okay. I promise." I cry to her as painful tears fall from her eyes, she's so broken that it's difficult for me to watch.
"Please Harry, please." She begs me yet again, her voice so scared and in shock from my previous information. I start to pick her up from the bed, her light thrashes doing nothing to me. "I'll do anything, please don't let me go, I don't want to leave you, please!" Her voice straining to get through to me.
Although, it's for the best. "I'm so sorry Emma, I love you but I can't stand back and watch you like this. It tears me apart. I'll visit you everyday, I promise!" Her tears and moans becoming louder as I gently open the door, leaving me to be in full view of the nurses with Emma in my arms.
I can tell it's a shock for them, everyone gets slightly taken aback when they see the state she's in. It's terrifying knowing that she's so weak that she can't take care of herself, or even stand up. The two nurses professionally regain their composure and look back up to me, "I'll carry her, you get the bags." All the while, Emma continues to sob hysterically in my arms.
"Please Harry, I don't want to go. I can't go, I belong here, with you! I'll get better, I'll do whatever it takes." I simply ignore her pleads, she needs this whether she likes it or not, and even though it's hard for me to ignore her pleads I still know it's for her own good.
As we reach the living room I decide to sit her down on a seat and stare at her straight in the eyes. Her once beautiful hazel orbs are now strained and bloodshot from strenuous crying, "listen to me, I love you and you know that I'm doing this to help you. I don't want you to go either, I want you here every single night in my arms to keep me warm, but you need this Emma. You need to get better and I need my wife back."
"Please Harry." She cries yet again, but I'm not changing my mind, because I love her and it will help her in the long run.
My forehead rests against hers in our own loving gesture, my hand clasping the nape of her neck and keeping her close to me. Emma's lips brush softly against mine, "Do this for me." My wavering voice begins, "If you love me, then do this for me."
She bites her lip and shakes her head reluctantly, knowing that I've won. "Everyday?" She quizzes, making sure that I will be there every single day for her and keep my word.
"Everyday." I promise, sealing it with a tight and passionate kiss. I really have missed this feeling, and I recognise a glimmer of hope within the both of us. I know everything will be okay, it'll be tough at times, but we'll make it through.
"I do love you." She utters against me, her hands still lay on my chest as we remain in our close proximity.
"I know, that's why I said it." I chuckle cheekily at my own words, I knew she would never be able to argue with that.
And then Emma does something that surprises me. She does something that I haven't seen in a month and a half.
She laughs.
That cute little giggle that I've missed so much, the one that can brighten up anyone's day no matter what mood you're in. Her pearly white teeth showing and her dimples appearing either side of her face at my cheeky words. I made her laugh, and that is an honour.
"So cheeky." She smiles at me with one last breath, knowing that this is where we depart. This is where it all starts and this is where we become stronger as a couple. This is it. This is us.
"Come on." I encourage, wrapping my arms around her frail body to carry her to the awaiting car outside. The two nurses wait patiently for me and I mouth a quick 'sorry' which they shake their head at, I'm glad they're giving us our space. I really respect that.
The paps outside of our house remain calm and collected as we walk out, no flashes going off and no one screaming at us; the fans are quiet and respectful as I carry my wife out to the car. Everyone knows something is wrong, and I'm proud to know that these are my fans because they respect us, and they know what to do in situations like these.
I place Emma in the back seat of the car, watching carefully as the nurses arrange her packed bags in the boot and then sit themselves into the two front seats. I crouch down and help Emma put her seat belt on knowing she can't do it herself, "the nurses will call me with your room number and what ward you're in, I'll call the lads when I know and then I'll be straight there."
She nods sadly, her smile having disappeared and replaced with a solemn expression. I'm scared for her, I just don't want her to be alone, I want her to know that I'm right here beside her and I will help her through it. Firstly though, she needs to understand that this isn't her fault and that she should stop punishing herself for something she couldn't control.
"I love you." I lean my head against hers and kiss her one last time.
"I love you." I hear as the car door closes and her car begins to drive away.
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- Pianogirl56
