Missing ; Phan ~ completed

[get some rest]

(3 days later)

{Dan's POV} 

I sit in the same old chair, just like I have been doing for the past 3 days. I don't bother going home, or sleeping, I just continue to sit here, falling apart. I hear the door open and look up to see Pj. "Hey Dan."I hear him say, walking over to me.

"Hi." I mumble, holding my knees to my chest. Everything feels slowed down because of lack of sleep, but I can't keep my eyes closed. 

"Hey, you don't look too good." He says, concerned.

"I'm not." I mutter, keeping my eyes on the ground. 

"Listen, why don't you go home and get some sleep? Its not doing you any good to sit here all day." He offers, smiling down at me sadly. 

"But what if he-"

"Hey, I'll be here all day. If anything happens I'll call you. I promise." He assures me, a hand on my shoulder. 

"Oh..Okay." I manage to agree, really needing some rest. I kiss Phil's hand before standing up and grabbing my stuff. 

"Do you need a ride or?" He asks, trailing off. 

"Uh, I've got someone." I answer, heading out of the room. 

"Okay, take care."

"Uh huh." I nod, pulling up my phone and calling Sarah as I walk out. "Hello?" I ask when she picks up.

"What do ya need?" She asks. 

"Can you pick me up?" I ask, hoping I'm not seeming too needy.

"Where are ya hon?" She asks sweetly. 

"The hospital." I say softly, yawning.

"I'll be there in 10." She answers, getting up and walking from wherever she was.

"Thanks so much." I thank her, reaching the exit. 

"No problem." She says and hangs up the phone.

I stand outside until I see her grey car pull up. I get in, noticing the sad look she gives me. "I know, I look bad." I mumble, looking out the window as she drives away. 

"Have you been at the hospital for the past 3 days?" She asks, ignoring what I said completely. 

"Yeah." I say, realizing just how crazy that makes me seem. I mean, everyone else went home and rested, yet there I am. But I guess its just because I'm so worried for him. Its my fault anyways..  

"How is he?" She asks, keeping her eyes on the road. 

"I don't even know anymore." I sigh tiredly, wishing this'd just end. 

"How are you?" She asks, glancing over at me quickly. 

"Not okay. At all." I mumble, closing my eyes for the first time in what feels like days. "But how am I supposed to be okay?"

"Its normal to be upset, just don't tear yourself apart over something you couldn't have controlled. I'm sure it'll all work out Dan."

"I know.. B-But how do y-you expect-t me to l-live without him?" I say, my voice shaky from the very thought of it. 

"Honey.. I promise, everything will work out. But I know he wouldn't want you to be like this about it all."

"I know."  I sniffle, wiping my cheeks and running a hand through my hair. 

"Hey." She says, pulling up to my place. "Relax. Take a shower, get some rest. Okay hon?"

"Yeah." I mumble, looking down. 

"Come here." She opens her arms and I sigh, giving her a hug before getting out of the car. "Take care, and call me if you need anything alright?"

"Yeah. Thanks Sarah."

"No problem hon." She smiles and I close the door, walking up to the front door. 

It almost physically hurts to walk into that house alone. I don't know what to feel anymore because after so long, there simply aren't any tears left to cry. So now its just a constant pain in my heart and the sting in my eyes although no tears come out. I feel weak, in all aspects of the word. I walk through the door and drop my bag at the entrance. 

I want nothing more then to talk to someone. That someone would normally be the one person I can't talk to. At this point I don't even need a lover, I just want my best friend back. I want to talk to him..

I didn't realize how much I need that... How much I need him. 

So I'm supposed to be getting some rest.. But my mind is going wild. What was the last real thing I said to him? What does his voice sound like again? What if that was the last time I'll ever see him? What would I do if he dies? 

God, Why am I thinking about him like he's dead? 

I take a deep breath, closing my eyes for a minute. 

'Calm down Dan. Just pretend everything is okay. Everything will be okay. He isn't gone. He's alive. Everything is going to be fine. Take a shower, sleep.. calm down.' I tell myself, managing to stop my heart from beating out of my chest. "Okay." I whisper, wandering through the house and to the bathroom. 

I manage to not-so-succsessfully take a shower, crying for most of it. I slip on some old t-shirt and crawl into bed, forgetting about my current problem. And for the first time, in what feels live forever, I got some sleep.