Missing ; Phan ~ completed

[ruining good days]

{Phil's POV}
I can't stop the tear as it falls from my eye. I take a deep breath, holding him tighter. He grabs my arms, turning his head to the side.

"Phil? What's wrong?" He asks carefully, not moving. I can't quite put it into words, I just shake my head, whimpering softly. "Hey.." He says softly, pulling my arms from his waist and turning around to face me. I look down, unable to wipe my eyes because he has both of my hands.

I hate being this way. I hate feeling helpless, crying. Especially after the tear-less few days, I feel like I just ruined a good morning.

"Phil." He whispers, squeezing my hands. A stifled sob slips from my lips and he drops my hands. He grabs my chin, turning my face to look up. I meet his glossy brown eyes and he sighs sadly. "I'm sorry baby." He murmurs, unsure about what he is apologizing for. He places his hands on either side of my face, wiping my tears away. "What is it?" He asks, a gloomy expression on his face.

"I'm sorry." I manage to say without breaking down crying. I shake my head, closing my eyes as his hands move to my neck. "For everything." I don't have one particular reason to be upset right now, I have a million.

"Phil.. You didn't do anything wrong baby." He whispers, kissing my forehead.

"It was so hard without you." I whimper, feeling utterly pathetic. "I couldn't do anything. I've never wanted to die before. I never even thought about suicide until then." I say, my voice shaky and my breathing unstable. "My life is nothing without you." I say, my voice just above a whisper. Now he is teary eyed as he looks into mine.

"Phil.. I'm here now. I'm so sorry.. I promise, I'm not going anywhere." He assures me, kissing my lips. I don't kiss back right away, but when I do, he pulls me closer. It's nothing much, not heated or lustful, nothing like that. This kiss is deep, slow, full of meaning, a hint of sadness in the air. I pull back slowly, keeping my eyes closed. "I love you." He whispers, hugging me tightly. Although it is only three words, I know it is the only words I need to hear right now.

"I love you too." I mumble, not pulling away, only holding him closer. "I'm so glad you're okay." I say, my voice muffled. We stand there, not moving for a while, which I don't mind.

"You don't know how absolutely grateful I am for you." He says, breaking the silence. "You make everything better.. I really don't know what I would do without you." He whispers in my ear, kissing my cheek softly. "You drive me crazy." He whispers, causing me to shiver. "You had me going insane last night." He says, my heartbeat picking up. "I'm all yours." He mumbles, his lips hitting my neck, making me gasp. He pulls away quickly, pecking my lips and smiling. "Better?" He asks, both of our cheeks turning red.

"Much better." I say, leaning in for another kiss. I just can't seem to keep myself off of him.

I almost forgot, someone is watching, and that someone.. doesn't like the two of us together.

I also forgot that they love to ruin good days.

~~1 hour later~~
I'm not exactly sure why, but we decided to go outside. Now the only issue with this is we had zero plans as of where to go. So we are currently walking around by a park.

"Why did we think going outdoors was a good idea?" I say, laughing.

"Not sure, it never ends well." He replies grabbing my hand.

We walk around for a bit and decide it's better just to go back home.
It feels like things are too normal today.

I can't shake this uneasy feeling as we walk back to our place.

We walk in the front door and I just know something is wrong. I look to Dan, who looks just as worried. We stand by the front door for a bit until I just walk into the next room.

What I was greeted with was something I really did not want to see.

There on the TV is a whole lot of video clips. Of.. well, rape.

I can't move to turn the TV off, nor can I tear my eyes away from the screen. Dan walks in and it's just the same. We both stand there until I grab the remote and hit the off button. The screen doesn't even change.

"What the..?" I say, hitting the button a few more times before realizing it's not going to work.

"Turn it off already!" He says, freaking out.

"It won't work!" I yelp, going up to the TV and manually hitting the off button. But for some reason, that doesn't work either.

"For fucks sake." He sighs, unplugging the TV from the outlet. The screen finally shuts off and Dan crumples to the floor crying.

He always seems to ruin a good day.