anti-carat .

twenty nine

It was one of those days. One of those days where Jihoon felt his absolutely terrible. It was just yesterday when he was doing so well. Everything came crashing down the next day, affecting the boy greatly. He didn't know why he felt like letting out a waterfall from his eyes, tears were threatening to fall. Everything that had happened the past year played in his mind, making him feel even worse.

His bottom lip quivered as he clenched his fists, trying not to cry. He looked outside to try and distract himself from his own thoughts, a lump forming in his throat. Minhyuk, who noticed that something seemed off, tapped Jihoon's arm to ask if he was okay. Jihoon simply nodded, not wanting to speak. "You sure?" Minhyuk mouthed, earning another nod from the other boy.

He let his head down, resting it on his table. Shutting his eyes, he tried to calm himself down. Realising that it was no use, he raised his hand up to ask permission to use the washroom. Quickly shuffling his feet, he made his way to the bathroom after grabbing his bag along with him, locking himself inside a stall. The tears he had been holding in rushed out as he hiccuped sobs. His cries were painfully suppressed beneath his hand that was covering his mouth. His breath hitched, his crying only getting worse. The sharp sound of knocking startles him, making his eyes go wide.

Holding his breath, he waited for the person to say or do something. They knock again, not saying a word. "Occupied!" Jihoon spoke, his voice cracking as he did so. "Are you okay?" The guy spoke from the other side, sounding concerned. "Yeah." That was all Jihoon could manage to tell. He quickly wiped his tears despite them rolling down his cheeks nonstop. Without thinking twice, he swung the door open, rushing out.

Ignoring the stares, he rushes to the back of the school and texts Soonyoung to pick him up if he was free. The bag that was hanging off his shoulders slowly slipped down as he waited for a reply. Realising he had more tears dripping down, he once again wipes them off, cursing at himself for being 'a wimp'. He felt hopeless, helpless. Noticing that his knees were wobbling, Jihoon walks over to the bench to his right and takes a seat.

He stared at his phone, seeing his reflection on the blank screen. His eyes were puffy, red and he looked like goddamn rudolf. He sighed still feeling just as shitty as he previously did. He hears a car horn, making him shoot his head up towards the direction of the noise. Getting up, he walks to the car, getting in quickly. Soonyoung, who immediately noticed that Jihoon cried, cupped his boyfriend's cheeks. "What's wrong, Hoonie?"

Before Jihoon could even begin talking he bursts into tears, making Soonyoung panic a little. "Did someone say something? Did they do something to you? What happened?" Soonyoung asks, worriedly pulling him into a hug. "I...I don't know." He sobs onto Soonyoung's shoulder, holding him tight. "It's okay, it's okay. I'm here, just let it out, yeah?"

Jihoon nodded as Soonyoung rubbed his back, not knowing what to do. "I feel terrible, Soon. I don't know why..." Jihoon spoke, calming down a little. "Do you wanna go home? Or do you wanna come over to mine?"

"To yours please."

"It'll be alright, okay? I love you."

"I...Soonyoung," Jihoon called out, looking straight into Soonyoung's eyes.

"You mean the world to me...I just felt the need to say that."

Soonyoung knew something wasn't right when Jihoon said that. He found something off about the way Jihoon spoke. "Hey...baby, you okay?" Soonyoung asks, his heart racing with nervousness. "I...I am, Soon. I just wanted to tell you this, I feel like such a fucking bitch, you care for me so much and I still push you away like the asshole I am. I promise i'll try to change for you. I just want you to know that I love you so much."

"Jihoon, don't say that..."

"No, I'm serious, Soonyoung. I just...felt like telling you this because I really am so grateful for whatever you've done for me."

Soonyoung, who felt his heart hurt, pulled Jihoon close to him, connecting their lips. "I'm here for you no matter what. You matter so much to me and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." Soonyoung spoke, almost whispering. He knew Jihoon wasn't feeling alright, he wanted to make him feel loved, adored, cared for. "I love you for being you, I love your bitchy ass. I fell for you because I love everything about you, don't you dare try and change that."

Jihoon looked at Soonyoung, the weight on his shoulders disappearing.

"Soonyoung,"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you..."