HLHA

Chapter 21

I am absolutely a newbie in everything that’s been happening to me right now. Everything is fresh, everything is brand new and as the newbie I am, everything is absolutely scary..

It’s the end of the month and I’m seriously freaking out already. I started to doubt myself.

Can I do it right?

Will I do it?

And most of all I started to realize who I’m losing.

Will he come?

Ever since that day, I’ve never heard from him anymore. It’s like by all means he stopped everything, he cut out whatever string of communication we have. It’s like he turned away from me.

That day was the best day of my life..

That day was the page in the book my life that I bookmarked..

I thought I was in cloud 9 when I heard him say that he liked me. For the nth time in my life, he made me believed that I’m lucky. I thought I am lucky because the boy I’ve always loved, liked me.

I don’t understand why he suddenly turned away. I would have understood him if he felt scared but it’s been a month. What kind of coward does that?

In return I know I’ve been an idiot expecting too much, and well here I am, extremely disappointed.

---

“You ready girls?” I heard May call from the outside. I took my bag and headed outside the room.. The others were gathered at the living room and everyone seemed excited except for me.

No, I haven’t been looking forward to this day ever since I started training. Every night I wished that the monthly evaluations just become yearly so I won’t have to feel this way every month.

But right now, for these girls, I have to be strong..

“You okay Angel?” Cassandra asked me as we were heading out the house to SME.

“Yeah I’m ok.. Just a little nervous.” I answered. It would have been easier if the founder did not say that he was going to come watch.

“Don’t worry, we all are nervous, it’s normal to feel that way. But we practiced hard, we’ll get through this together” she said.

I wanted to argue. I am not that nervous like ho they feel. I am nerve-wracked. Like there’s too much adrenaline that I think I might puke.. But these girls trust me, and I have to learn how to trust myself too.

“You look sick” May said touching my face. How can this girl see me through?

“I’m okay. I’m taking deep breaths right now, I’ll be okay. Don’t worry” I assured.

“Do you want me to call Baekhyun?” she asked.

Baekhyun? Why?

“I know he’s the only one who can calm you right now.” She said.

“Don’t. He won’t care. Let him be. I can handle myself.”

 I don’t want to be the one going after a guy, even if it is the boy I like, even if it’s the only person I really need right now.. even if it is Byun Baekhyun

“What do you mean he won’t care? You’re nuts. He cares for you a lot that a single message can make him come running to you.”

“No he won’t. Trust me he won’t..”

---

“We still have an hour, we can still go over it again” Cassandra said. We were at the practice room, rerunning our performances. But then everything is not going well the way their supposed to be.