HLHA

Chapter 20

Baekhyun:

I’ve always known loving someone comes with these consequences but I never paid attention to any of it. Frankly first because I never imagined I would fall in love.. Right now I am suffering the easily foreseeable consequences, and everything has just begun.

'Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story'.

I always wanted to see her. I miss her for each day that I don’t get to see her. It’s a need for me to be beside her. She was like my drug..

They say that when you feel something about someone, say it and don’t keep it. Choices are that you get rejected because the other person doesn’t feel the same way or vice versa. If you keep it to yourself, there’s no point of feeling it in the first place.

I knew I wasn’t ready to tell Angel how I really felt. I wanted to be sure of myself but it happened and there’s no turning back anymore. There’s no excuse for what she heard and I’m not denying anything because I really did like her, maybe more than that. I'm a guy who becomes protective at times, whose got a big ego and wants to be the superman of someone.

I want to be her superman.

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I always have this gut feeling when something is going to happen which I know I wouldn’t like. Ten minutes ago, I felt it. I felt like I’m risking myself for something drastic. I ignored the feeling and went on with what I wanted to do.

There are more painful wounds that cannot be seen externally. There are deeper wounds that hurt a lot more than a wound losing all your blood. The moment you start to feel it ache, you’d just want to grab your heart of your system and stab it, at least that would have been quicker. You'll just wish you could go back to being a kid, where a band-aid can be enough to seal the pain.

Why won’t my feet move? Why can’t I close my eyes so I won’t see this?

Ten minutes after Chanyeol left, I realized he was right. I need to stand with the words I said. I shouldn’t be a coward and hide from her. How will I know if my feelings are worth something if I don'tgive it a try..

My guts are telling me not to go but I shrugged it off.

This scene would have been picture perfect to other eyes that get to see this, but if this was a picture right now, I would have ripped it off and burnt it to ashes.

"What if you see Angel with that guy and he kissed her?" I remember Chanyeol said. Well, he's not kissing her, but they sure are breaking my heart into pieces right now.  

She looks so calm and beautiful right now sleeping in her sweat pants and t-shirt, if only she wasn't sleeping on Justine's shoulders.

That should have been me.

I forced myself to move and walk away. I feel numb.

These is a consequence of loving someone. You are allowing yourself be beaten up internally.

I went back to where the members were.

My sense of hearing was blanked out for some time. I can’t hear what anyone was saying. I was only following the members as they walk out of the building and we went home.

I followed Chanyeol to the study area and saw Manager hyung and Luhan hyung inside

“Sit down Baekhyun, Chanyeol.” he said as I hear.

I sat down as I was ordered

“I’m not going to scold you, I just want to remind the three of you” he began.