HLHA

Silver Euphoria

I started working full-time as a nurse at a government hospital 6 months ago after being at home doing nothing for almost a year after I passed the board exam. I was all giddy and excited for the fact that I'd actually start doing something productive with my life. I'd actually start earning for myself. Who knew that day would change me so much that I barely even recognize myself today.

Working was hard and exhausting, you just want to sleep your butt off after your shift. It's the reason why I have stopped doing everything I used to do every hobby and past time and that included writing and stanning my favorite kpop groups especially exo. Rebellious at first, I thought it was changing me in a bad way, because my imagination was starting to become rusty, only I realized that I was growing old.

I was getting old for late night youtube marathons of kpop music videos and reality shows.

I was getting old for stalking every kpop fanbase just to screen capture photos of my biases.

I was getting old for buying tons and tons of kpop merchandises and displaying them on my room.

I was getting old for kpop and there was no way of stoping it.

I realized that I needed to focus on my life now. I needed to do what I'm meant to do and that is being a nurse.

I knew I needed to stop focusing on them that much. I needed to stop fangirling about them too much.

I just needed to literally STOP.

Months went by and I haven't heard, watched or even write anything about them.  I sometimes listen to their songs for a few minutes but that's it.

That one day on a day off, I went to a computer shop and opened an exo video. I couldn't resist the need to watch them after all those months. I told myself "Ok, I'll stan exo ONE LAST TIME". And I did. I spent nearly 4 hours watching exo videos. After that day, I stopped again and told myself that I'm moving on.

And then news broke in, exo is coming to the philippines. I just smiled at the thought and knew for sure I wouldn't be attending. It's like trying to move on from your ex and getting back with him again. Pointless.

That's until @iwantTOMSlinson opened up the opportunity to go, and not just with her but with two more of our friends who are exo fans.

At first I was just excited about being with them and hanging out. I only then realized everytime I read our chatbox that I was actually really excited to see EXO too. Every feeling just came rushing back in.

I realized then that I will always be a fan. I'd always appreciate their songs that I don't always understand more than the songs I clearly understand the lyrics. I probably might keep writing fanfictions about them since they are the reason I started writing again the first place. I'll always be interested to hear about them, and how successful they are and will be. Being a fan requires no age. Sure I'm getting old but there's no age limit in appreciating people especially those who inspire you to do good things.

I'm a proud exo-l.

And on the 23rd of january I WILL stan EXO ONE MORE TIME.
And probably several hundred more times after that 😄😍😍