When The Day Met The Night

17

It's been a week since I've talked to Rion and it's tearing me up. We use to hang out everyday and now it's like we don't even know each other anymore. This is awful, I've been drinking everyday too, which can't be good for me but who cares, the girl of my dreams is back with her cheating ex boyfriend and there's nothing I can do about it.
You know what, if she can get back with her cheating ex then so can I. I'm going to go to Sarah's and tell her I want her back and then we'll see if Rion still wants to be with Ian.
After I get out of bed and take a shower, and get dressed I head over to my old house. It feels so weird going back there. I haven't seen Sarah in like 4 months so it'll be weird but I miss her a little and I can forgive her for what she did...I think.
I pull up to my old house and get out. I walk up to the door and knock, it feels weird to knock on my old door but I did let her live here instead of me.
The door opens and I see Sarah standing there, her smile falling into a confused expression.
"Brendon?" she questions. "Did you leave something here?" she raises her eyebrow.
"Yes." I smile at her. "You" I lean into kiss her but she pulls away.
"What're you doing?" she asks with a confused look.
"Here it is" I walk past her into the house, it looks so different, it's like I never lived here. "I miss you a lot Sarah. I know what you did was wrong but I'm willing to forgive it. We can get back together" I tell her, not knowing if I can fully forgive her.
"Brendon, what are you talking about?" she shakes her head.
"I love you and I know you love me, we should get back together." I tell her with a shrug. I have no idea what I'm doing.
"I can't...I don't-Brendon, I don't love you anymore. That was very clear to you only a few months ago" she sighs and I grab her hands.
"No, I know you do! We were together for 10 years Sarah" I laugh. She pulls her hands away from and walks away.
"You're crazy. What's going on Brendon. I know you don't feel like this. The last thing you said to me was that you could never look at me the same and didn't think you could stop loving me but you had as soon as you saw me with another guy"
"Nothing is going on, I said that out of anger, I do love you" I lie, I don't feel that way towards her anymore, the way I feel towards Rion. With Rion, when I look at her I feel-gooey. I feel like my insides are mush. Like there are butterflies flying around my whole body and I love it.
"Brendon, tell me the truth. Friend to friend" she looks me in eye, ha! Her friend.
"Fine" I groan, throwing myself down the couch. "I met this girl but she...went back with her ex boyfriend. I like her so much but she must not feel the same...even though she says she does." I explain.
"Well that doesn't mean you come back to me Brendon, we're over and that's it" she sits down with a sigh. "I don't know this girl but I'm sure she had a lapse in judgement to go back with her ex. If she says she likes you then she probably does but she's not sure. Just give it time. I'm sure whatever the reason they broke up in the first place will come up again and she'll be running into your arms once again"
"How do you know?" I ask.
"I don't but I know that you obviously like this girl enough to come see me that you're going to try whatever it takes to get her back." she shrugs. I sigh and look around at the changed house.
"It's so different in here" I change the subject.
"I know, this is how I would have designed it if you hadn't lived here"
"Right...I'm going now" I stand and straighten my shirt.
"Just remember, don't come here for advice alright. I'm the last person you want to talk to" she tells me.
"You know Sarah, you cheated on me. If anything you should be giving me exactly what I want. You're in the wrong" I say.
"I know but think about it Brendon, do you really want to be here with me?" she asks.
"No." I state and leave the house on that note. As much as I hate to admit its, she's right. I only came here out of spite. I don't think I would have actually gone through with getting back with Sarah.
As I drive away I can't stop picturing Rion with that damn Ian. I can't just let Rion go like that, no...she's so different and I need her. That sounds so stupid and cliche but how else do I put it. Rion makes me feel so amazing, just talking to her and...that fucking Ian guy gets her. Why not me?! I deserve to be with her! I wouldn't make her fucking cry ever! I wouldn't give her a reason to want to leave, I never gave Sarah a reason to cheat either...but she fucking did.
When I get home, I slam my car door out of anger and the fucking window breaks.
"FUCK!!" I shout a little too loudly and I roll my eyes but continue onward to the front door of the building and then to the elevator and then to my door and then inside, slamming that door as well.
I need to calm down, a beer should work. I grab a beer from my fridge and sip it a little before setting down on a random counter.
The perfect girl, arms length from me and I fuck it up...or he does?? I don't know anymore. All I know is, I need to get Rion back. I need to show her that I'm better for her, better than Ian...or Dylan. I know I say I love my fans but fuck that fan for fucking with my girl like that. If he hadn't kissed her, he wouldn't have came to her apartment and we could have gone on that date and when Ian showed up she wouldn't have agreed to go out with him again. Everything goes back to Dylan.
He sucks. Ian sucks.

Everything sucks.

I suck.