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I finally finished my tour, it's been 3 months and I can't wait to just be home. We just finished in New Mexico, it was so awesome but I can't wait to just sleep in my own bed for once. 3 months of hotels and the tour bus but coming home to my amazing wife and my dogs is something I've been looking forward to the most.
I come inside with my bags and set them by the doorway and look around, setting my keys on the counter in the kitchen.
When I come through into the living I see she isn't in there, she must be busy in the bedroom. So I walk through the hallway and down into the bedroom, I fling the door open whilst saying, "Babe I'm-" I can't finish my sentence because there on my bed is my wife, laying there naked with another man on top of her. Her eyes dart to my face and she instantly pushes the man off of her....this can't be. No, we've had 10 years that together.
It takes me a moment to process this, I pull my eyes away from the scene and the my body away too. I run out to the living room, forcing myself not to cry.
"Brendon wait!" She calls after me but I refuse to listen. I stomp away back to the kitchen with the image of a man on top of my wife, a man that isn't me.
"Brendon," she calls again and this time her hand is on my shoulder. She turns me around to face her. "I didn't want you to find out this way," she cries.
"Oh you mean, find out that you are cheating on me?" I shout. "My bad, let me leave so you two can finish," I grab my keys from off the table but she stops me.
"I'm sorry Bre-" she begins but I put my hand up to stop her.
"How long?" I ask. She makes a confused face so I repeat myself. "How long has this been going on?" It takes her a moment to give me an answer but she does.
"Al-almost 5 months" she says quietly. I feel my whole body heat up like I'm about to explode. I can't believe she has been fucking another man for this long.
"I can't believe you Sarah...I thought we were in love?! All those songs I wrote for you...everything I've done for you. You just throw it away this easily!?" I yell but I'm on the verge of tears. "Seriously Sarah, we've been together for 10 fucking years, I have done everything to keep you happy and you go and do this?!" I throw my hands up out of anger.
"I do love you Brendon, you have just been gone for so long...I have needs-" I cut her off again.
"Oh, you have needs? You have needs? Are you fucking kidding me? That's your excuse-no, fuck this. I'd say I want you to move out but I think it'll have to be me because I can't think about anything else but you and that guy fucking." I grab my bag from where I set them. I run out the door and get in my car and drive off.
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*6 weeks later*
There they are. The divorce papers, something I've been wanting on for a while. I moved into this shitty apartment for the time being and as soon as I set my ass down on this shitty gray couch, I ordered some divorce papers and they are finally here, so I can end this nightmare.
I haven't seen or even called Sarah since the day I caught her cheating on me and thank god that I don't have to look at her face ever again. Still it pisses me off that she hasn't made an attempt to talk to me, it just shows that our whole relationship didn't meant shit to her. I put my pen on to the paper and sign all the necessary lines and then put the papers back in the envelope.
I have been super down about this whole thing for a while though I haven't told anyone but Zack about this. Who else needs to know? My fans? Pssh. So they can somehow make it about themselves? Who needs that? Not me. I love my fans, of course I do. They're the reason I am where I am but they don't need to know every detail of my life.
I'm thinking about telling everyone else soon though, they keep asking me why I'm so sad all the time but I usually just perk up and tell them I'm fine, just tired-ha. Tired, that's an understatement for how I have been feeling.
I mean, I walked in on my wife cheating on me for god sakes. Excuse me-ex-wife now as soon as I can get these papers to her. "Death do us part" my ass, more like as soon as I leave for a long time. How could she just cheat on me? I would never do that to her, she was my whole world but now...she's just my ex wife. It's so weird to think about all that love and passion I had for her just left when I saw her with that guy.
There's been a question floating around in my mind for a while though-what could I have done to prevent this?
But I always answer this question the same way. Nothing.
I mean what could I have done, if a person had the intention to cheat then they will no matter what you do. If she didn't have it then I wouldn't be sitting here in this shitty two bedroom apartment, on this gray, very depressing couch.
The apartment really isn't that shitty, it's very large, 2 bedroom with a balcony and a great view of LA, it's in a great neighborhood and it's quit fancy, it's even got a doorman but it's not my house. It's not the place I spent the last 6 years in with a woman I thought loved me.
So yes, it is shitty. Everything right now, is shitty.

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