Effort At Its Finest (Brother's Bestfriend)

The Good Stuff

Xavier gave me rules. How stupid was that?

Rule no. 1,

No being alone with Macy when the door is shut.

Rule no. 2,

I can only stare at her from the neck up.

Rule no. 3,

If I get her drunk again I won't have my balls.

Rule no. 4,

No touching her.

Rule no. 5,

No thinking about touching her.

Rule no. 6,

And if I bring up the night I had with Macy before she left I would be kicked out.

"Xavier this is fucking stupid." I told him as he wrote the rules down. "What if she sees it?"

"She won't. I just want you to sign it and then I'll throw it away."

"Stupid." I muttered.

I was worried at night and trying to think of my interview. How would it even go? I had never been to a real interview before and it freaked me the fuck out. Knowing myself, I'd probably screw something up right away.

Aaron let me borrow his suit and tie for the interview and I was fucking confused on how to work the tie and I was getting so frustrated. "Look at you!" Mary squealed when she walked in the house and pushed me to face her. "Damn!" She said and I caught the hint of purposeful annoyance in her.

Macy was with her and just looked confused at Mary and I, but looked at me and her eyes widened just the slightest. "Wow." She said and looked at me too. "You look really good, Conrad." She told me honestly.

I sighed and muttered a 'thanks' when really I was so happy she payed attention and loved the way she looked at me, even if it wasn't the same.

She laughed at my tie and faced me towards her with her hands on my shoulders and I felt as she reached around to gather the tie together and slide it up, then reach around my neck to fold the collar down and it felt like the most intimate thing at the moment. I still found it that way, as girly as it sounds.

It felt for a split second like she was mine, and that was a damn good feeling. It tempted me to reach out and pull her close, like a couple. A couple would do that, right? How the fuck would I possibly know anything about relationships when the only one I've had was in my head. It was when I didn't fuck things up and I stayed.

In my head when I stayed, we woke up to eachother. Actually, she woke me up in the morning and I would find myself panicking at how fast my heart was speeding. But eventually it'd become normal, because she would always find someway to make me an idiot. If I stayed would we have woken up shy? I couldn't help but wonder if that's what I would've felt. Or bold, maybe.

But no, I knew the truth. I would've been scared. A fucking coward like I've always been.

What about if she hadn't left? If I was waiting at the house, and she was coming back from who-knows-where... I think she'd be happy to see me. Angry at first I was sure, but happy later. I didn't exactly admit out loud that I loved her, especially not to myself. I believed coke could cure it all, but in reality all it did was make shit worse.

"Are you okay?" Macy asked me, snapping me out of my sudden deep thoughts.

"Yeah." I said. I was nervous, I was very nervous.

"Are you nervous?" She asked.

Don't snap at her.

"No, I'm not." I said as calmly as possible. With her so close to me I felt like I would yell at her again or something.