Nothing Can Compare In This World To You

Chapter 12

Amanda's POV

Isabelle drove me back to my apartment. "Do you want me to stay over?" she asked and gave me a worried look.

I shook my head.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I need to be alone for awhile", I said and got out of the car.

"Call me if it is anything okay?" she said.

I nodded and closed the door.

I walked up to my apartment that was on the top floor.  It had a view over the whole city which I used to love but right now this was the last thing I wanted to see. 

All I wanted was to go to sleep and then when I woke up would I be in Brian's arm back in America and all this would just be a dream. 

But I knew that it wouldn't happen. This wasn't a dream. My dad was gone and he would never come back. I would never see him again. 

The tears started once again fall from my eyes. 

I knew that I shouldn't have left for Warped. I should have stayed with him. I should have spent every second with him.

But I didn't. I was naive and thought that this wouldn't happen even if I knew it would. I took it all for granted and just like that, was it all gone. 

My best friend, my hero, my family, was gone. 

I sat in the big window and looked out over the town when my phone started to ring. I looked on the display, it was Cameron.

"Hello?" I whispered. 

I couldn't get a tone in my voice.

"Amanda I'm so sorry. Syn just told me what happened. Are you okay?" he said.

"No I'm not", I said. 

"I'm on my way back to England."

"What? No. I don't want you to leave tour for me. There is nothing you can do anyway."

"You shouldn't be alone right now and we're just taking some days off. And I can't miss his funeral."

Damn. I hadn't even thought about that. I would have to arrange a funeral. I broke down once again when I thought about it.

"Amanda?" Cameron said worried.

"I have to bury my dad", I cried. 

"I know and I'm so sorry. Go get some sleep now and we'll be there when you wake up. I'm in New York right now and my flight leaves in twenty minutes."

"Okay, bye", I said and hung up. 

I was happy that he was coming but I didn't want him to leave tour like that at the same time. But Cameron was right, I shouldn't be alone right now and he was the person I needed the most. 

I did as he said and went to bed. I couldn't sleep though. Every time I closed my eyes my dads face popped up in my mind. 

I got out of bed and went over to the window again. 

As you might notice, this was my favorite place. I always sat here when I wrote songs or when I listened to music which was the things I used to do when I was home. Now I didn't want to do anything of it though. 

Cameron's POV

I arrived to London and took a cab to Amanda's apartment.

When Syn told us yesterday what had happened I just needed to go. I needed to see Amanda, I needed to be there for her right now. No one should have to be alone at times like this. 

I locked up the door to her apartment with a spare key I had. It was completely silent inside. Amanda was sleeping on the floor, leaning towards a huge window that covered the entire wall. 

I walked over to her and carried her over to the bedroom. She woke up when I laid her down on the bed. 

"Cameron?" she said tiredly.

"Hi", I said and smiled a little. "How are you feeling?" 

"I don't know", she said. "It feels like I have cried every emotion out of my body." 

"I'm so sorry", I said and pulled her into a hug. 

"Why did I go Cam? I should have stayed. I should have been there for him. I should have told him that I loved him one last time. But I didn't. I wasn't there", she said and I could feel the tears from her eyes make my shirt wet. 

"Amanda, no. Listen to me. All he wanted was for you to be happy, that was all he cared about. And he died knowing that you were doing what  you love the most, that you were happy. And even though you didn't say that you loved him one last time, he already knew that and he loved you too with all of his heart."

"I know", she cried. "But it feels so wrong. What am I gonna do without him?" 

"You'll find something, don't worry. This will take time but I promise you that there will be a light in the end of the tunnel." 

We sat there for what seemed forever. She cried and I held her. I had never seen her like this before. She was always so happy and full of life. I was actually starting to doubt my own words, would she be able to get over this?