Touch (Jerrie Fanfiction)

Chapter 6

Jade's POV

I arrived at the coffee shop in about 10 minutes. I looked inside and saw Jed was already here. I walked to his table and sat down opposite to him. He looked up and he looked worried. I must look terrible.

"Hey." I smiled weakly at him. Jed reached out his hand and put it on top of mine's.

"Hey Jade. You alright?" He squeezed my hand and half-smiled at me. I thought about Perrie and tears were running down again. Jed raised his hand and wiped the tears off my face.

"Is it about Perrie?" He asked knowingly. I sniffed and nodded. Yes he knows. He is the only one who knows my feeling for Perrie. And No. We are not actually dating. The truth is, after the Hardrock Cafe incident, I had hope that there maybe a chance that Perrie might feel the same. But then I saw Perrie changed the topic every time when it has been brought up and it shattered my heart. She didn't even want to talk about it so she probably didn't want anything to do with me. I felt so depressed and mad for myself to even thought about the possibility of her loving me back. My heart was broken into million pieces and I didn't know how to be happy around her anymore. That's when I started to hang out with Jed.

I was feeling so upset at that time that I didn't want to be around Perre, cause every time I see her, I died a little more. So when Jed asked me to hang out with him, I agreed instantly. I would do anything to be as far away as possible from Perrie. We kept hanging out everyday and I would be reluctant to go home. Jed knew something was up so he asked me, and that's when I thought I couldn't bottle up my feeling anymore, I had to tell someone. So I broke down and told him everything. I trusted him and I knew he wouldn't tell the girls as they weren't close. That's why I felt my secret was safe with him. He is a really great friend and he kept me company and comforted me when I was down. I didn't know how to get through the heartbreak if he wasn't by my side.

The paps got pictures of us hanging out almost everyday, so they made it a headline of us dating. But both of us knew we were best friends only and nothing more. However, that gave me an idea that I should tell Perrie Jed and I are dating. I knew it sound crazy but it sorta serves as a self-hypnosis to help me hide my feeling for Perrie, and to pretend it's on Jed. And it kinda work. I knew I couldn't keep ignoring her forever and I don't want to. She is my bandmate and she is the one I love.

Jed wasn't really into my idea due to the fact that it would only complicate the situation and he think I shouldn't lie to Perrie. He encouraged me to talk things out with Perrie numerous times, but being the old stubborn me, I didn't listen. Escape is always my first instinct. I know I'm a coward but I just don't have the confidence to deal with things properly without thoughtful preparation both mentally and physically. I would panic at situation like this.

Jed finally agreed so I told Perrie we were dating once I gathered enough courage to talk to her. I couldn't read her emotion, it was just...blank. After that, everything seems to went back to normal. Except sometimes in conversation I had to remind myself I was dating Jed. I didn't ignore her anymore and we were getting closer again. Me and Jed would still hang out to catch up with each other, but not as much as before as I didn't need to avoid Perrie anymore . Every time the paps caught me and Jed together, they would make another romance rumour, but we didn't deny or say anything about it and just let the media said whatever they want. So basically, everyone thought we are dating, which I don't really mind because it made Perrie believe me ever more.

Perrie didn't question my frigid behaviour before and I didn't know whether I should feel happy or not. I was relieved since I didn't have to come up with any excuses anymore but I was kinda disappointed. Did she care about me? But I put away the negative thought momentarily because the most important thing is that we are okay now.