cancer, egd

26.love of my life

I give a smile to all the boys, each of them having their father strong build, but their mother delicately sculpted face and round brown eyes, all very attractive. "Boys this is Victoria." She smiles, introducing me before I could do it myself. She hurried off to help Lisa and I turn around to Ethan.

"She seems nice." I smile.

"She is." He nods, his eyes taking in my face with endearment. "Come on, we'll get Marco to pull the four wheelers out." He winks with a smile and we walk towards Marco. He is tall and very handsome. He is the classical hot Italian dude.

"Heyyy my lil bitch." Ethan pulls Marco into hug, laughing all the while.

"Ethan." He says, a large smile spread from ear to ear.

"Come on let's pull the four wheelers out, go for a little ride." Ethan offers, tilting his head to the side.

"Great idea. Oh and Victoria," he holds out his hand and I politely take it. "Lovely to meet you." He charms. "Have you driven a four wheeler before?" He questions.

"Of course. I used to go for rides with my dad all the time." A light laugh escapes my lips in remembrance of the fun times.

"Awesome, lets grab helmets and head down." He leads us back off the deck and out to the garage. We each grab an open face helmet from the shelf. Grayson taking the pink glitter helmet with no shame.

We continue to follow Marco out to the large barn and open the doors. Inside lays tractors, four wheelers, and an old car that seems to be in the midst of a repair. We help Marco pull 4 large four wheelers out and start them up. We each hop on one, Ethan teases me with a wiggle of his brows before speeding off down the dirt trail. The rest of us left to catch up to him.

I accelerate and feel the wind rush against my skin, my hair fighting against the wind, tangling into the fast gusts. I laugh out loud, smiling wide with no hesitation. Ethan slows to race at my side, he glances over to me.

I blow him a kiss and as we take a small turn and hit a muddy patch. The wet dirt splatters up at us, biting at our faces and clothes. I scream and laugh, tearing through the mud and into a field. I take to the long grass, the green blades stinging my skin.

I feel alive. I feel like nothing could ever take this away. I have Ethan, the wind in my hair, mud on my clothes, grass stains on my knees, and I have the joy of knowing that I could live the rest of my days as happy as this very moment, I just need to try.

******

After what felt like hours of trails, hills, fields, and logs ramps, we headed back. Our head lights being the guide under the moonlit sky. We returned safely, washed the four wheelers and helmets off, then put them away in their rightful spot. All of us, Ethan, along with his gardening hat that he calls his 'sombrero', Grayson, Marco and I; we all headed down to the deck that hung over the lake. Fairy lights strewn down the long port, creating a beautiful aesthetic look. We sit in a circle, sodas, chips, and ice cream in hand.

We all talked about random, funny stories about the times we embarrassed ourselves as kids, to a drop dead hilarious moment at school or with siblings. We laughed, we laugh to the point of tears. We took videos, pictures, and snapchats of one another. Each and every person feeling happy, content with the world and it's treatment towards us. Everything seemed perfect.

So when we found ourselves falling asleep on the blanket we laid out, we weren't fazed. We let ourselves slowly drift off to the sound of distant Latina music and laughter coming from the parents and the younger kids.

Soon I found that everyone was asleep. I was tired, but too fascinated by the stars and the bright moon to let this moment be taken by sleep. So I looked for constellations. I even made my own weird ones like a dog face, a smiley face, a turtle.

"Hey." Ethan whispers in a low raspy voice, he stretches out a bit.

"Hey." I whisper back. My head is on his chest and his arm is wrapped around my small frame, keeping me close and pressed against his body.

"What're you thinkin about?" He asks, I both feel and hear his slow and steady intakes of breath.

"How perfect this is." I respond, a smile on my face. "What're you thinkin about?" I ask, nuzzling my face into the warmth of his chest.

"How lucky I am." He says, I swear I can hear the smile upon his lips as he talks. I shift so my head is on his shoulder, and I can look at his face. I was correct, he does indeed have a smile spread across his soft, pink lips. "I have you, the love of my life. I have my memories. I have the ability to create new memories. I have the honor of being surrounded by, bright and beautiful people." He tilts his head to be able to look me in the eye. My heart runs laps across my rib cage. 'I have you, the love of my life.'

I smile at him, he smiles back. "I don't know what I'd do without you." I say, emotion welling up inside me, along with tears. I kiss his lips softly, taking in every moment of it. The feel of his smooth lips, the taste of chocolate upon his tongue, the passion hidden behind every layer and every detail. The chocolate taste is replaced with salty tears as I find myself starting to cry.

But not the kind of cry that happens when you are in pain or scared. The kind of cry that happens because of all the emotion, happiness, love that is balled up inside. I cry because I don't know how to express it any other way. I pull back from his lips, slowly, he wipes the tears from my cheeks with the gentle pad of his thumb.

"I love you Victoria, my lil bupsy, my lil babes." He laughs lightly, making my smile and giggle, his toothy grin lighting up my heart.

"I love you too Ethan."

a / n : ayyyyeeee your girl actually edited!