Beep. Beep. Beep.
My alarm clocks sirens, time to wake up and get ready for school. Then, drag my feet down to the bus stop where I'm sure the short 7th grader will crack a joke about the President or some form of drug. I will go through my day laughing at my peers and grumbling about the amount of homework that has been assigned. My closest friends Quinn and Elliot will text me nonstop about what my plans are for after school. We will exchange several ugly selfies over snapchat and laugh about them later on. The three of us will then climb into Elliots jeep, from there we will get frozen coffee, sing along to oldies, and obsess over Dylan O'Brien.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
No... I don't get to go to the bus stop today though. Actually I will never again get to attend school, or hear that little 7th grader crack a joke, or sing dramatically in Elliot's jeep. Instead of being there for graduation, I watched through a screen as my fellow classmates accepted their diplomas in their caps and gowns.
Struggling to survive will occupy all of the free time that I now have. The fear of death now overpowers my fear of the attractive boys that shared classes with me. The drugs that pulse through my veins to keep me calm will replace the midnight summer adventures shared with the people that I loved.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
"Get her oxygen now!"
"I want her on a sedative!"
The yelling frantic voices sound like they are a football field away. Deep in my stomach, a dark pit forms and my anxiety causes my finger tips to tingle. Though several unfamiliar sensations take hold of my body, it takes a lot of force to even attempt to wake myself.
So as the slow process begins, I notice that the voices that seemed so distant only a moment ago begin to get louder. The steady beeping that sirens through the air increases in speed, they sound urgent. Fear grips my hand and my body finally jolts into full consciousness. I can now feel hands, the grip at my arms and press my seizing body into the mattress. I can feel a mask being pressed over down over my mouth and nose, the air that fills it smells strange. But the most painful part of this experience isn't the needles, my headache, or my throat that has been coughed sore, it's the stabbing pain in my side that reveals to me the cause of all this... the tumor.
Through clouded vision, I see the faces of doctors above me, and above them a bright light. It then finally hits me that my next door neighbor's life isn't the one I should be worrying about. The blurry figures and moving orbs that make up faces slowly come into focus. I see people I don't recognize, and wish for nothing more then a soft, familiar face.
They exchange looks after catching my gaze and they begin to shout commands. My heads starts to shake and my eyes tear up, I don't want to be put back asleep. I don't want their worried faces to be the very last thing I see. But whatever they push through does its job, my ready eyes shut with my consent and I am once again out under.
I remain in touch with my hearing and grip sentimentally to each sound I hear. The beeping of the heart monitor echos through my empty mind and the ringing in my ears becomes deafening. The sound of my own heart distracts me, it is not steady, but the third of each beat comforts me. I know that I am alive. I know that I have a chance.
YOU ARE READING
cancer, egd
Fanfiction"Wait, so why did you want to do this?" I ask. "Why not?" "I don't know." I look around the dull room. "It's boring." "The only the boring about this is the way you are currently thinking." He laughs, propping his legs up on my bed like he owns it...
