"Is my baby okay!? That's what I asked you! Don't you dare pity me with your bullshit!" The words are harshly spit into the air and followed by sobs.
"Ma'am I need you to calm down and take a seat please. Your daughter will be alright. The tumor in her lung swelled up... her time will be shorter than what we expected. She stopped breathing and tumor almost burst and if these spells continue, she will only survive another month. I'm very sorry." The familiar voice of Dr. Dornan reports to my now hysterical mother. Her uncontrollable cries fill the room and I presume they fill the hallways as well.
"It's all my fault." She yells and I can hear her slam herself into a chair, for it screeches with an awful noise across the floor. I slowly clench my fist into a tight ball, making sure to make the movements slight and go unnoticed.
"I'm very sorry ma'am, I have to attend to other patients. If you need any help there will be people at the front desk who can assist you." His voice sounds very calm and collected as he speaks to my mother. I pick up that never once did he say 'It's okay, there is a chance she could survive' or 'she's tough she can pull through'.
Now fully awake, I lay silently with my eyes shut. Little would anyone know that there are tears that would spill if I opened them. I hear my mom stand from her seated position in the chair. I assume she is heading to leave, escape the depressing life the tumor in my body has given her, but instead I feel her wrap her frail fingers around mine. She kisses the back of my hand and holds it tight to her cheek. I feel her tears, the oceans that hold the sadness of a mother that has to watch her child slowly die.
"I know that you aren't awake." She laughs. "Because you would never let me hold your hand. But I want you to know that I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that you will pass on without living the life you should've. And it's all my fault." Her voice breaks and cracks up, as I try my best to keep the tears from falling out of my closed lids. "I would do anything to give you the life you deserve, to give you the chance to be happy again. But I can't and you'll never forgive me. So I'm begging you please just live the rest of your life knowing I love you more than I have loved anyone else and never forget that you will always be my little girl." She kisses forehead, her tears spreading upon my skin. "Bye for now my angel." I hear her leave and shut the door behind her.
The moment I hear the click of the shutting door, I break. The muscles of my face tense into a frown. My eyes, I squeeze shut with all my might. But no one would know because my hands cover my whole expression and smear the salty tears across my face. I curl my legs to my chest and hide under the flimsy excuse of a sheet that was given to me.
After what feels like hours, I am greeted by the opening of my door, and a greeting from Dr. Dornan. Even though the news he is going to give to me is undoubtedly bad, a smile sits upon his lips. A clipboard in the crook of his elbow, a black pen pinned behind his ear, his blonde hair only exposing the tip of the writing utensil.
"Hello Miss Victoria." He smiles.
"Hello." I respond blandly.
"I have good news for you today." He smiles wider.
"Okay." I nod, expecting it to be something like 'instead of having one month left you have a month and a half to live! Yay!'
"We have a visitor for you, this very special person is going to keep you company during the day so you aren't bored all the time."
"So you're telling me there are people who get paid to become friends with someone that is dying?" I ask, a certain harshness in my voice, thinking the whole idea is shitty, doubting that I will get something positive from the last month of my life.
"They are volunteer." He nods and drops his pathetic gaze to his clipboard, seeming to be intimidated by my glare.
"When do I meet this person?" I ask, truly wanting him out of my 'room'. It's bad enough I have to stay here, but I'd much rather rot alone than drag someone down with me.
"Your helper is going to arrive in half an hour. They will be around your age group. The purpose of this to have someone to vent to. So if you have any problems or concerns about the person you're assigned to you can talk to one of the nurses. Any questions?" He assures, his words seemingly scripted, they way they flow from his tongue like he's practiced them a billion times. After a while the monotone, flat, boring script gets annoying. This is one of those times. He sounds like a robot, and a robot he is. He serves a purpose here, that's basically it.
My mind drifts to the damn 'buddy' system they have going. I almost laugh aloud. They expect someone to come in here to gain a friend. But that friend just happens to be dying, so basically they are setting people up for pain and emotional dysfunction. But hey, I'm dying so apparently I don't have a say in how my world goes anymore.
"No, questions. But I do want some alone time." I smile, trying to make it look like I'm not secretly planning my escape from this prison, but I have time to think... lots of time to think. I would be lying if I said I never thought of leaving.
"I'll leave you to it." He presses his lips together and leaves without another word. I grab the first thing that makes me feel like a human, my phone. I scroll through my Instagram liking pictures and responding to comments like 'stay strong' and 'I'm so so sorry'. The time seems to fly by, for when the door opens with a click I jump and let out a small gasp. With my full attention, the handsomest stranger I've ever laid my eyes upon enters the room completely out of breath. A dashing smirk upon his plump, faded pink lips.
"Hi I'm Ethan." He breathes out.
YOU ARE READING
cancer, egd
Fanfiction"Wait, so why did you want to do this?" I ask. "Why not?" "I don't know." I look around the dull room. "It's boring." "The only the boring about this is the way you are currently thinking." He laughs, propping his legs up on my bed like he owns it...
