A Piece Of Me

Chapter 45 "Grief"

Luke P.O.V

Her familiar warmth and intoxicating scent enveloped my back as she snuggled closer, her breath tickled the back of my neck and a soft arm wrapped around my waist. I touched her arm and caressed its delicate skin. Rolling my back from her, I stared at her beautiful face. 

Everything about her was perfect. 

Her eyes fluttered open and beautiful dark orbs stared back at me. Her lips curved into a gentle smile when her hand touched the side of my face. Tucking a strand of her hair, I looked deep to her eyes and said the first thing in my mind.

"You are so beautiful!" She smiled and kissed the tip of my nose. Waking up everyday, with her by my side is a dream come true and I couldn't wait to call her my wife.

"You're staring at me. What's on your mind?"

"You like to know what I'm thinking?", she nodded,her smile still lingers. I spoke softly, pouring my emotions into words. "I'm thinking about how I couldn't wait to call you my wife. I'm thinking about how great it is to wake up everyday, seeing your beautiful face to start my day. I'm thinking about how it would be nice to have someone like you who will cheer me up when I'm sad and stressed. I'm thinking about..." I gently traced the side of her face with my knuckles, "...how blessed I am to have you Rhel. I love you!" 

Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. "I love you Luke!" Her soft lips landed on mine. The things that I was thinking instantly faded as our kiss deepened. Our lips broke apart but we remained in each others arms. 

"So don't think about leaving me Ms. Forbes or I'll come hunt you down," I said feigning serious. She chuckled and pinched my cheek.

"I won't Mr. Lacela. I'll always be with you, forever! I love you so much Luke."

Her voice became distant and muffled while her face became blurry, fading,  until everything was pitch black. My eyes fluttered as darkness was replaced by a streak of light. The sun rays filtered through the swaying curtains. I didn't bother to move as I continued looking at the gentle sway of the white fabric, dancing to the rhythm of the morning wind. My mind was blank. My body was too tired to get up. I had no will to do anything. Not anymore. Everything has became useless. Living was just pointless.

I died with her. I was breathing but I was dead. Dead inside. I felt empty without her. She was the reason why I was full of life, but she was gone. And so was I. I didn't want to accept the reality. It was just so hard, so devastating.

How could I live my life without you Rhel?

A single tear rolled down into the pillow but I was too tired to wipe it. I just let it flow until more tears came streaming down. If only she was here. If I could have one more day and undid everything, then I wouldn't have let her go, I could have save her, and that she would still be here. If I could just...

A sudden knock brought me out of my trance. 

"Luke, are you here? Come on, open up!" I groaned but didn't move. The knocking continued until I heard the door opened up. "Buddy, you need to get up. You have to."

Silence...

"What are you doing Luke? You have to get up, get out of here and see her...for one last time."

"Go away Tom," I said with strained tone. 

"If you won't, then I'll make you," he said impatiently. Even if my back was onto him, I could tell he was losing his patience and I intended to do that to make him go away. 

He walked out of the room, his footsteps fading. But not long enough, I heard his heavy footsteps again and then suddenly, a cold splash of water hit my body, soaking my shirt. I immediately got up, and grabbed his dress shirt's collar as anger started to boil inside me. Gritting my teeth, my fist connected with his left cheek and he stumbled to the floor.

"Why can't you understand that I don't wanna go,"I yelled angrily, pointing my forefinger in his direction. He stood up, using the wall to hoist himself up. His cheek was turning a little red.

"Because you need to," he hissed. "Because I don't want you to have regrets in the end. Luke...this will be the last time that you will be able to see her, to say your final goodbye and that's why I don't want my best friend to regret in the end that he wasn't able to say goodbye to the woman he loved."

I was taken aback by what he said. I didn't want to face the reality. I didn't want to accept that Rhel was gone, that she will never come back. It was just too painful.

I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. "That's the thing Tom. I'm not ready to say goodbye. Not just yet and I don't think I will ever be."

"But you have to Luke. You have to let her go because no matter what, she will never come back. And this will be your last chance to see her."

I sat down on the bed and stared down the floor. "As much as I want to see her, I can't...because I couldn't bear to see her lying in that coffin, lifeless. It's just too much, too painful."

Silence loomed over us. Tom sat down the bed, beside me. He was in thoughts for few seconds before he spoke.

"She was different in her own way. Rhel. Even though I only knew her through Amber, I could tell she was a great woman. And she proved it, by changing you and you're lucky to have met a woman like her."

My chest tightened and I started sobbing. "S-She was beyond great. She was a woman any man could have asked for and I was blessed to have her. But now she's gone. and I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I died with her Tom. There's no point in everything anymore."

"Don't say that Luke. You will get through this and I know that she doesn't want you to be like this. You have to live your life because that's what she wants." I felt a tap on my back. "Live your life like she always want you to Luke. It's the best thing you could do for her." 

I let his words sink in. As much as I wanted to argue, I stayed silent because I knew, Tom was right. Rhel wouldn't want me to waste my life and give everything up. But the truth was just so painful and I didn't know if I could overcome the pain. I didn't know if I could live a life without her in it.

"Let go Luke," Tom spoke gently. "Let it all go."

Being said, I cried my heart out, letting the pain of reality slapped me hard. I'll try Rhel. I'll try to live, for you."

And I'm back!! Sorry guys I went AWOL for a loooooonnnngggg time. Just had a lot of things to deal with but I'm here now, and of course with a new chapter. Hope y'all like it...

Song: I Will Not Say Goodbye by Danny Gokey

Lovelots! XOXO!!