Facade | Near

Chapter 37: Aftermath

Chapter 37: Aftermath
A/N: :3
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The world visibly changed.
The walls lost their usual color.
The world looked blank.
The canvas was dull.
Near's mind was dark.
His soul was afraid.
His heart was shattered.

Near refused to step out of his room. Their room. A room they shared. A room that reminded him his unique moments with her. A simple white room that was given color, just a stupid room that held their precious memories together. Their late night talks. Their embarrassing moments. Most nights, they would be sitting on the carpet solving one of Near's blank puzzles.

It was too painful for him.

It was his first time to experience such treatment, it was his very first time to be offered sincere friendship. His thoughts lingered back to their last moments before she was captured. Near's glossed eyes almost teared up as he remembered what he had done.

He pushed her away. He must be overreacting to think of it in such a way, but he could not help himself. If only he acknowledged her, if only he didn't keep her out of the whole Beyond Birthday case, if only he didn't make her retire for the night, then may he won't be having this desperate and painful feeling in his heart.

"I'm sorry."

It had been months since she was captured. A few weeks since he found her. A few weeks since he stabbed Beyond with his willful intent to kill.

It had been a year since she slept. It had been a year since she rested. Near wondered if she was terrified, if she was in danger, if she was just alright.

Is she okay?

Of course not. Near knew himself that (Name) was anything but alright. He wished that he could've talked with her a lot more, he wished that he savoured every single moment he had with her, he wished that he didn't take those moments for granted.

His breath hitched as a soft knock came from the door he had been staring for a few hours now. He felt a simmer of hope in his heart, hoping it to be a certain (h/c) haired girl.

His hopes then immediately faltered. He almost chuckled bitterly at his own silly thoughts. Almost. But he lost his strength to speak, he felt as if he was restricted to utter a single scream, or a sound. Not even a weak stutter.

Near didn't respond. He couldn't. He knew the person would barge in, given that he didn't lock the door.

"I didn't come here because I wanted to. I needed to. Stand the heck up, I bet you want to hear this.

She's awake." A familiar bitter voice spat, immediately leaving the room due to the fact that he couldn't stand Near. Mello sympathized him, knowing exactly how it would feel almost losing someone you opened up to. He himself going through it with the same woman that gave Near the definition of despair. Mello bitterly frowned, why was he sympathizing the sheep all of a sudden?

Why was he able feel a connection with him? How can he empathize with a man like him?

The answers were of course in front of him, he almost wanted to deny it, but he knew better than to deny he was wrong.

He knew better than to deny that he was utterly and completely wrong.

The man he learned to despise had feelings. The man he called a monster too many times already had emotions.

Near was human. An entity with thoughts, a physical being with mental weaknesses. Mello was blinded. He saw Near in a new way, and hopefully for all of them, in a new light.

He should have a long time ago. Given that his rival, his enemy, his nemesis and his nightmare was the one who saved him from the clutches of death. Nate River was the one who saved him from a near death experience.

"No shit sherlock. How long have I denied such an obvious fact?"

On the other hand of things, on the other side of Mello's revelation was Near's erratic beating heart. A sign that he was breathing, a sign that he exists, a sign that he was still alive. Near stood up from his shaky sitting position, he suppressed a shiver as he tried to comprehend the situation at hand.

She was awake?

A year had passed, it was already a month before (Name)'s birthday. Near walked slowly, wondering how he wasted 365 days of his life. Was he really in his room the whole time? Thinking? How many people did suffer from the hands of several criminals? How many people did he fail to save? Near's captivating gray eyes widened,

How many criminals did he pass up to find? How many people did he fail?

It was then and there, that Near decided to start over. He digressed from the fate he was given, a path he walked. He stepped out the boundary of the means to become L, the world's greatest detective. He can only apologize to the people that had suffered from his absence. The criminals that he failed to save from the pit of darkness. The victims who needed his help desperately.

He was one man, and one man only, but he knows that even just one person could still make a drastic change. The proof was right in front of him, now he had realized.

There was hope.

He can make a change, he can become L, he can surpass L. Just one person was enough. (Name) herself was responsible for letting him realize that.

With the girl herself awake, he knew he can do it. He needs to do it. He wouldn't admit it, but he appreciated a 'thank you' from anyone he helped. A small gratitude given to him was enough to strangely calm his nerves. When he cornered and trapped Kira, when he was able to prove that Light Yagami was the man underneath Kira, he felt the same thing, only bigger.

It was the least he can do to atone for his sins. Sins of his dark past that will haunt him for as long as he lived.

He sprinted desperately through the long hallways of Wammy's House. The orphanage deemed too long despite how he remembered it. His long walks of agony and deep thinking must have given the illusion of its short walls.

Near gasped for breath as he ran. He was never the one to be physically fit. He was not the person to sprint nor run, he wasn't trained to. L was an armchair detective, and an armchair detective was the one he had to succeed.

He reached the room, his breathing uneven and deep. The world around him seemed to halt, for a moment, he forgot why he was even running in the first place.

But there she was, laying in the white medical bed. Her heart monitor was buzzing normally. Her knife-gained scars already healed, within just a year, marks and traces of her horrible torture almost diminished. Near's heart almost burst out of his chest as he saw her (e/c) eyes wide open. From afar, he was able to deduct that she was thinking deeply, and as if snapped from a trance, (e/c) eyes met silver.

Expressionless face, clouded cold eyes. Near saw his old self in her.

Near knew she needed saving, and just as how she was able to save him, he himself will take the effort to do the same to her. She will be his first case, his first puzzle as L's successor, and as N. (Name Last/Name), an ordinary girl with an extra ordinary personality, the girl he, for the first time in his whole blank life, fell in love with. And without realizing it, that is.

She needed saving and he will make sure to be her hero. Her reluctant hero.
Just as he was beginning to show his emotions, just as he was starting to remove his mask in front of her, Beyond had to ruin it. No matter, the successor's facade may have already broke.

"The least I can do is to save you, (Name)."