Some dude on the TV: I apologize for the sudden interruption. We now take you live to the IC - *coughs* I mean, the Author. Yes, the author.
Author-Chan: WAAAAAAAAHHH. ME IS REALLY SORRY UPDATE LONG! wuht? argh, phone lag. I AM REALLY SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN TOO LONG.
IT'S LIKE, MORE THAN A WEEK.
I'M REALLY SORRY, A LOT OF THINGS HAPPENED THAT I RATHER NOT SAY.
NO, IT'S NOT JUST AN EXCUSE YOU KANGAROOS!
Near: *Takes the spotlight* *sighs* I've been waiting for you to update in forever, I miss Reader-Chan.
Reader-Chan: Kyaaaaaa, I'm heeerreee! *tackles Near in a hug*
Mello: *running around* MATT! GIVE ME BACK MY CHOCOLATES!!
Matt: *gets in the car* *drives away*
Mello: *raging* *calls the Mafia* HELLO? F*CK YOU! YES! BRING ALL OF YOUR TROOPS AND MOTORCYCLES!! WE NEED TO CATCH MATT AND I HAVE A REALLY GOOD IDEA ON WHERE HE IS.
#Exaggerating10YearsLater
Matt: *stops car like how he did when he died* So these people got ahead of me huh? *gets out of car* Alright you got me, I'm part of this whole Chocolate kidnapping incident. I'm sure you have a lot of questions to ask, you won't shoot-
Mafia Boss: *accidentally shot him* *the rest of the Mafia follows*
Author Chan: NO! MY BABY! *makes a shield from the guns*
Mafia: *looks at her in shock*
Author Chan: I'm the author, I can make anything happen. :P
Mafia: *all of them runs away*
Mello: MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *breathes in* *breathes out* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT!! GIVE. ME. BACK. MY. CHOCOLATE.
Author Chan: *makes a chocolate truck pop out of nowhere*
Mello: *chases after the truck*
Matt: Whew. He's like a deranged serial killer when he ran out of chocolates. Yo, thanks for the shield.
Author Chan: *fangirling inside* No pro-
Misa: *runs and shakes the author* GIVE ME BACK MY LIGHT!! WHERE IS LIGHT!! GIVE LIGHT BAAAACCKK!!
Author: *gets a coca-cola from her pocket* Here, It's Coca-Cola LIGHT. *bursts out laughing*
Matt: HAHAHAHAHAHA THAT PUN.
Misa: *grabs the can* LIIGHTT! WHY ARE YOU A CAN?!?!?!*
Matt: Seriously? This girl, I swear... *sighs* Yo, let's get back. You can get in my car.
Author: *nods* *silently fangirling*
Near: *wakes up from a horrible nightmare* *eyes wide and fear in his eyes* No, Y/N will not die in this case. I brought her here alive, then I will bring her out alive.
Light: *screaming in New York* I AM KIRA! THE GOD OF THE NEW WORLD THAT EVERYONE DESIRES! I HATE TO KILL THE INNOCENT, WHICH IS WHY I KILL THE INNOCENT. I HATE EVIL AND LOVE JUSTICE, WHICH IS WHY I HATE MYSELF. I WILL TURN THIS SCREW UP WORLD INTO A SCREW UP WORLD! PLEASE STAND BY IN YOUR HOMES AS I KILL ANOTHER PERSON SENSELESSLY. THANK YOU! THAT IS ALL, COMING FROM YOUR GOD!
Misa: LIGHT!! I ADORE YOU!
Mikami: GOD! I WILL LISTEN TO YOUR ORDERS! YOU ARE MY GOD!
Takada: YES, YOU ARE THE GOD OF THE NEW WORLD, NOW LET'S BANG. (tf XD)
YOU ARE READING
Facade | Near
FanfictionEdit from me, years after: Sometimes I go back to this book and see just how wack my writing was years younger. I would delete this right away, but coming back to laugh at how I sucked at writing in general is kinda fun. If anyone stumbles upon this...
