Sexy Virus (Phoenix #1)

Chapter 47

Chapter 47 - Choice

- HELOISE - 

They're coming back...

The memories... shooting my head like a shotgun.

My head hurts so much.

I want to scream and cry for help but I can't even move. Hindi ko rin alam kung nasaan ako. It's like I'm nowhere but I'm everywhere.

Another memory flashes, hitting me like hammer hitting a stubborn nail repeatedly.

I want to vomit and hold onto something for support but there's nothing to hold onto, even nothing to stand on... I fall...and fall... and scream again, pero boses ng batang babae ang lumabas sa bibig ko.

"You should've saved her instead of me! Kasalanan n'yong lahat 'to! Kung hindi n'yo kami niyaya ni Ate doon sa ilog nandito pa sana siya! Kasalanan n'yong lahat 'to!"

It was me.

I was in hysterics and out of control. I kept on blaming Phoenix for what happened to Ate Hilary. Ang dami kong masasakit na salitang binitawan sa kanila, but they didn't say anything. Tinanggap lang nila lahat... habang kagaya kong umiiyak.

And then came Ate's funeral.

Naka-upo lang ako sa isang tabi, at nakatingin sa kawalan. Phoenix and Mirae came with their parents, pero hindi ko na sila kilala. Hindi ko sila maalala. Kahit sino sa kanila.

They just stare at me too, nag-aalangan na lapitan ako.

"Wiswis." Si Clark ang unang naglakas ng loob na lumapit sa'kin, pero hindi ko siya pinansin. He tried holding my hand but I pushed him away.

"Sino ka ba? Layuan mo ko. Gusto ko lang ang Ate ko."

"Wiswis..."

"Ano bang Wiswis? Hindi ako 'yon! Heloise lang ang pangalan ko!"

"Hel..." si Mirae, she reached out for my hand but I slapped it away.

"Sino ba kasi kayo? Hindi ako si Hel, ako si Heloise! Layuan n'yo nga ako! Kung ano anong tinatawag n'yo sa'kin, hindi ko naman kayo kilala! Si Ate lang ang gusto ko! Layuan n'yo ko!"

"Hel..." Saint tried to calm me down, "Magagalit si Ate Hilary kapag pinagpatuloy mo 'yan."

Natigilan ako, I grip his shoulder like my life depends on it. "Kilala n'yo si Ate Hilary? Pano n'yo sya nakilala? Kaya nyo ba s'yang gisingin?" I shook his shoulder, but he didn't answer, so I pushed him away too. "Kung hindi nyo kaya, umalis na lang kayo please. Mahigpit ang bilin n'ya sa'kin na 'wag akong makikipag-usap sa mga hindi ko kakilala."

Bakit ba walang kayang gumising kay Ate Hilary? They said she's dad, but I didn't belive it. Ate can't die. She just can't She promised me na kahit kailan hindi niya ako iiwan. And she's not one to break promises.

I turned my back on them and cried.

Walang ibang nakakalapit o lumalapit sa'kin dahil bigla-bigla na lang akong hahagulgol ng iyak...

My parents didn't even bother. They won't even look at me, kausapin at lapitan pa kaya?

Walang nagawa si Mirae at ang Phoenix kundi ang lumayo sa'kin. They just watched me cry from a distance.

Bakit ko ba sila sinisi? Bakit ko ba ginawa 'yon sa kanila? Bakit ko sila kinalimutan?

Gusto kong sampalin ang sarili ko.

The risked their lives to save Ate's life and mine. Bakit ko sila sinisi? How could I say such hurtful words? Hindi lang naman ako nawalan... sila rin.

How could I be so stupid?

Despite everything, they still treated me well and protected me. Paano ba ko makakabawi sa kanila?

"Madali lang ang sagot d'yan sa tanong mo, baby."

Kahit hindi ako lumingon, alam ko kung kanino ang boses na 'yon. Nagsunod-sunod agad ang tulo ng luha ko. It's been so long since the last time I heard that beautiful voice.

I look around and see her standing before me...

It's like staring at myself, but with a different glow. Ate Hilary smiles, "My baby girl is all grown up now."

"Ate..." I run into her arms and cry. "Ate Hilary... miss na miss na kita." Kung panaginip lang 'to, ayoko nang magising pa. She's here with me... I won't let her go again.

"Miss na miss na rin kita, baby." she says, tightening the hug. "Pero hindi ako pwedeng magtagal."

"Why? Can't you stay here with me? Aalis ka ulit? Iiwan mo na naman ako? Can I go with you?"

Tinawanan lang ako ni Ate Hilary, "Baby, no. You can't go with me, silly!" piniga niya ang ilong ko. "Maraming naghihintay sa'yo... babawi ka pa sa kanila 'di ba?"

Tumango ako, "Pero Ate—"

She ruffles my hair, "Wake up, Loise. That's all you need to do. You're making them wait for too long already." Her gaze softens, "Ang laki-laki mo na..."

Hinawakan ko ang mga kamay niya at tumitig doon. She feels so alive. If only I could turn back time... "Did you blame me, Ate?"

"Never." She caress my cheeks and kisses them, "It was my choice, Loise. And I will do it again to save you, and your friends."

"Magkikita ba ulit tayo, Ate?"

"Kapag isang dosena ang apo mo." She winks, before disappearing to thin air.