Him ; J.D.

Chapter Fïfty-Fïvë: Blëëdïñg Løvë

YO ITS MY BIRTHDAY! IM 19! WHOOP. anyway, back to story, sorry.

Josh kissed Zoey's neck. "We need to just make a decision already." She huffed and smiled at him. "Yeah." He cuddled her. "Either we do it or not. Not this thing we just did and keep doing. Getting all heated and then stopping. It's not good." She sighed. "I don't know what keeps stopping us." He pouted. "I know kinda for my side." She kissed his chest. "Which is?" He asked. "Several things. The same things. Every time we get close, I just picture your mom. Not like in that way. I mean, I picture her finding out. Your family being upset with you. Thinking I'm a bad influence and made you a sinner or whatever." She sighed tracing his chest muscles. "We've been over this. Yeah they'd be disappointed but they wouldn't love me or you any less. Were adults. We make our own decisions. Plenty of other people have before and they're fine." He rubbed her arm. "I guess. I just, I don't know." Zoey buried her face. "What else?" He asked. "Do I have to tell you?" She looked up at him. "If were gonna do it we've gotta be comfortable talking about this stuff." He snickered. "I guess you're right." She sighed. "I'm worried." Zoey added. "About?" He asked. "About getting pregnant. I know I know. Sounds stupid. I get it. I know there are things to use to avoid it. I just have this fear it wouldn't work and then I'd be a terrible mom." She shrugged. "Hey, now you're right. There are things. Several things to avoid it. Its a reasonable fear though baby. For the record you'd be a great mom." He grinned down at her. "You really really think that?" She sat on top of him holding the sheet over her chest. "Yeah. You'd be the best. Our kids will have the sickest mom." He rubbed her thighs. Zoey smiled warmly. She bent down and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her as they kissed. "I love you." He smiled. "I love you too." She giggled.

"Your turn. Spill." She rubbed his chest. "Me? Um, I don't know." He looked away. "Come on Josh. I'm not the only one who keeps backing out. There's gotta be at least one reason. Is it your faith? I get it." She smiled. "Its not so much that...um.." He rubbed his eyes. "What baby?" She furrowed her brow. "I'm scared." He confessed. He's scared? "Why?" She rubbed his cheek sitting up again. He stared at her while she held the sheet. "I um...I don't know how to say this." He covered his face. "Josh." She frowned and removed his hands with her free hand. "I'm scared I can't please you." He mumbled. "What? Speak up honey." She rubbed his cheek. "I don't think I could please you." He confessed. "What?" She raised a brow.  "Zoey, I've never done this. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. What if I hurt you? What if I don't last long? What if I can't make you-ya know? What if I do something wrong? Or everything wrong? I've never even wore a condom. I have no clue what I'm doing. At all. What if-" Zoey kissed him. Josh lifted his head with his eyes closed as she broke it. He opened them slowly. "What was that for?" He asked. "You worry too much." She smiled. "But Zoe-" "But Josh. I have no idea what I'm doing. That's the point of experimenting. Will it be perfect the first time? Maybe maybe not. Its our first time. That's the point. A first time for everything. It'll be fun at the same time." She told him. "How?" He asked. "Because think of it like a map. We'll get to explore our bodies. We learn more about each other through our body. Like umm discovering a planet or a star." She said holding her chin. He smiled at her. "You find that one star. Its new. Its beautiful. You wanna learn everything about it. From one curve to the other. Top to bottom. Everywhere. You learn things and then things that work and don't work. How it works. Then you appreciate it to a whole new level. Like unfolding a new layer." She explained looking up. Clearly she was winging it as she went. He knew what she meant. Josh grinned at her and sat up. He pulled her closer. "You're my star." He whispered as their noses touched. Zoey blushed and smiled. She wrapped her hands around the back of his neck. His chest helped hold the sheet up because they were so close. They started kissing. They laid back as they made out. Josh's hands traveling around her back pulling her as close as he could.