emotions m.t [DISCONTINUED]

[11]

Chapter 11 : Jimin, I'm sorry.

"I-I don't know." I stutter, turning back to the window. Mark sighs, sitting on one of the bean bags in my room. "Don't." He says. I looked at him, confused. "Don't like me. I'll just end up hurting you. I've already told you. I didn't want you to think that I liked you so I distanced myself." He says, repeating what he said in the grocery store. I let out a deep breath. "Well, It didn't work." I say, as I tapped my nails on my desk.

"So you like me?" Mark asks. "Didn't you already hear what I said? Yeah." I ask, raising an eyebrow. "Hmm.. You really are special. Girls usually freak out when their crushes find out." He says, folding his arms in front of his chest. I scoff. "You're not that big of a deal." He smirks as I say this. "I clearly am, If you've been thinking about this for the past few days so much." He says. "Wow you really are an asshole." I say, rolling my eyes.

His expression drops. "Okay. Okay. I'll be nice. Only because your my best friend's sister." He says, letting out a sigh. "You were nice at the barbecue. You were nice before Joan came." I mumbled. "Hmph. Are you really going to spend the time complaining about that?" He asks. "Then what do you suggest we do?" I said, looking over to him. "I don't know. But I like your room. It's peaceful here." He says, he went from staring at the ceiling blankly to smiling. "Why are you smiling?" I asked.

"Because I didn't know that you'd have a crush on me, again." I chuck a book at him, hoping to hurt him. He lifts his head, catching the book. "Then what do you feel about me?" I asked, chewing on my bottom lip.

"Honestly, at first I didn't see much. And now, I'm not sure of what I see." He says, answering vaguely. "See how irritating it is?" He asks, laughing at my expression. "Mark, are you bipolar?" I asked, looking at him with concern. "Why?" He asks. "Sometimes you're really happy and you do cute things. Then you're upset and you become really introverted." I said, spinning my chair round and round slowly. "Did you just say that I do cute things?" Mark asks, laughing. My eyes widen. "No." I mumbled.

•
•

I put on the dress and black chuck taylors with my hair in a ponytail. "I'm heading out!" I called, earning 'Okay's for a response. I started making my way to the park to see Jimin. I didn't want to give him false hope because I didn't want to hurt him. I'm using today to tell him.

"Hey!" Jimin calls, waving to bring my attention to him. I smile and wave, walking over to him.

"So, what do you have planned?" I asked as we started walking. "We're going to the tree." At first, I was a little confused as to what he was talking about. Then I remembered.

When we were young teenagers, we carved our names into a tree and made it ours. We ate sandwiches under that tree and talked under it as well, sharing our thoughts and dreams.

We reached the tree that no longer had leaves on it. Not because of the seasons but because it was dying. Maybe this is a depiction of whatever Jimin and I have. It lasted for a long time, but ended up dying. To me, Jimin will always have a significant place in my life. It's just that I no longer have the feelings I had for him.

He laid out a mat which we sat on, in a comfortable silence as we ate ice cream. We even talked about how sad it would be for the tree to go away. And it would soon be replaced by a new one. "So how was America?" I asked, trying to make up a conversation. "It was.. alright. I don't regret going.. but I wish things would've been better for us." He says, looking over to me. I sigh, chewing on my bottom lip. "I know you probably don't feel the same way anymore. But I want you to know that I'm not giving up on you. Take my heart and break it. A hundred times. A thousand times. Even a million. I don't mind Emily." He says, taking my hands into his.