emotions m.t [DISCONTINUED]

[16]

Chapter 16 : Do what makes you happy

I slowly went down to the kitchen where I kept quiet, as usual. I ate my food, avoiding looks from anyone. "Em. You've been really quiet. You okay?" Dad asks. I look up and furrow my eyebrows. "Huh? Uhm. Yeah. I'm alright. Just a little tired." I answer, giving him a smile before I went back to my food. I didn't know how I felt about what I found about earlier. I mean.. that could mean anything, right? I really shouldn't overreact and get upset over something that could be nothing.

"Em." Mark says, grabbing my hand and pulling me to the backyard where we sat by the pool. "Yeah?" I asked, as I pulled my hand away gently. "I know you saw the lipstick on my cheek." He says, giving me a sigh. "I'm not mad, if that's what you're wondering." I tell him, looking over to him and he stares back at me. "I'll explain what happened." He says. I nod and allow for him to continue with said explanation.

"So, I was walking her to the bus stop and she mentioned how her neighborhood was dangerous during the night. She was terrified. She asked me to bring her home and didn't want to leave her just like that, so I brought her to her doorstep. At that point, she got emotional. She thanked me for bringing her home and gave me a kiss on the cheek." Mark explains.

Wow.. This isn't the Joan I knew. The Joan I knew would drag him into her house and probably sleep with him.

"You didn't have to explain anything to me, Mark. I'm not your girlfriend." I say, giving him a forced smile. Inside, I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. And every time I took a breath in, I fought the urge to cry. "Emily.." "Joan really cares for you. She isn't the girl I've known for the past few years. And if she decides to improve herself for you. Then I'm glad." I say, looking back down to my fingers.

"I don't like her Em. I like you." Mark says, as he takes me hands into his. "I know.. but I can't do that to her. She may be a bitch, but she's still family. No matter how much it hurts for me to see you two together, I think you should give her a chance." I say as a tear rolls down my cheek.

His eyes were red and I could tell that he was hurting just as much as I was. "I can't do that to you. I can't." He says, pulling me into a hug.

"You know, at first I was wondering why I was feeling this way. I'm not your girlfriend. I don't even know what we are. I really care for you Mark. So much. It hurt to see you leave with her." I choked on my tears, wiping his as they hit his cheeks. "I care for you Emily. I'm not going to go to Joan. I'm going to make us a thing." He says, giving me a reassuring smile as he strokes my cheek gently.

• •

I played the guitar softly as I searched the chords for 'Nothing Like Us' by Justin Bieber. I liked that song. It was gentle, sad but hopeful. I guess it helps with the situation between Mark and I.

Jb sits beside me, singing as he hears the familiar tune. His voice went well with songs like these. Songs that were more on the emotional side. Youngjae on the other hand, his voice fit songs with strong solos. Then there was Jr who could practically do anything with his voice. "So, are you going to tell me why you've been upset all day?" Jr asks. Youngjae and Jb look over to me, curious as well. "I-I'm fine. I promise." I say, giving them a small smile. "I don't believe you." Youngjae says, crossing his arms as he observes me. "Let's give her time guys. When you're ready, just tell us." Jb says, giving me a side hug. I nod.

"Where's Jackson?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows as I looked around. "Who do you think he's with?" BamBam says with a soft chuckle. I take out my phone to text Yeo-jin.

Me :
Yeo-jin Unnie by any chance, are you with my brother ? 😏 xx

"Unnie." A voice interrupts. I look over to see Yugyeom. "Yeah?" I asked, giving him a small smile. "Did you and hyung get into a fight? He's been really quiet for the past few hours." He asked, a small frown forming on his lips. "Oh really? I'll go talk to him." I say, standing up as I made my way over to Mark.

He was on the living room couch, with his bottom lip in between his teeth. I plopped down beside him and his look over to me from the tv. "Hi." I greeted as I shifted my body to face him. "Do you by any chance want to go for a walk?" He asks, facing me as well. "Depends. What do I get out of it?" I say jokingly. He laughs and pulls my on my hand, bringing me with him as he leaves the house.

••
We bought milkshakes from Mcdonalds and brought it with us to the park where we walked around. "We've never done this before. Have we?" He says, taking a sip from his shake. I shook my head. "It's nice." I say, smiling as I looked around to my surroundings. "Hold on." He stops me and hands me his milkshake as he kneels down, tying my shoelace for me.

How cliché.

I smiled as he gets up, his eyes finally meeting mine. "You have no idea how cliché that was. But, thank you." I said, handing him his milkshake. "You're welcome." He says, laughing as he wraps an arm around my shoulders. "You know there's paparazzi here right?" I asked, wondering if he knew what he could be getting into. "Yup. Just ignore them." He says, giving me a reassuring smile. "Nothing is going to interrupt us. I won't allow it." He says as we sit down under the shelter. "I just realized, I don't really know you that much." I say, looking over to him with furrowed eyebrows. "Very true. Why did you like me?" Mark asks, his eyes focusing themselves on me.

I smile. "I liked you because of how you made me feel. Maybe it's because I didn't have Jackson around as much. Maybe it's because I just like your vibe. But you made me feel like someone genuinely cared about my life. Not regarding my studies. But more about me. About how I perceived things." I say, looking at how his concerned expressions changed to delight. "How about you?"

"Well. I never really understood why you liked me when we were kids. And I guess after we were involved in music, I never got to know. In fact, I eventually forgot about it, only for the boys to bring it up when we visited. Then I saw how angered and affected you were by your brother's lacking presence in the house. You spoke of selfless reasons. You cared more for your Mother than yourself. I see how you treat your parents in a loving way. I've seen how you care for your friends. You're selfless, brave and confident. That's why I like you." He finishes, shaking the plastic cup to combine the milkshake and whipped cream.

"And.. when you said that I should give Joan a chance, it broke my heart. But I hope I've given you assurance on who I truly want to be with." He says, taking my hand as he clenches it gently. I smiled and gave him a nod.

I was satisfied with this. We didn't need to go for fancy dates. I don't even know if this was considered a date. But I'll count it anyway.

"And I absolutely love it when you temporarily zone out. You have this distracting gaze that makes me want to snap you back to reality." He says, bringing his lips unto my knuckles.