Effort At Its Finest (Brother's Bestfriend)

Don't Give Up

Of course, it was only a dream.

It was frightening though, because in it screamed Matthew. He screamed because he was literally on fire. But that wasn't how he died. No, he was killed during war. But when Aaron was an asshole he told me he probably killed himself, because there was basically nothing to come home to.

Watching my brother scream in agony made me almost feel the pain myself. Sweat dripped down my face and the flames almost touched me.

It should be me. I should be dead, because while I was alive I placed Hell onto Earth. If Matt was still alive he would be making the world a better place and cruelty would probably not be known in the Grimmie family. Not even the current Aaron could change that, I ruined it all.

I didn't thrash, I didn't scream or cry, but I felt over heated and suffocated and woke up with Mary in my face.

"What-"

"What's the matter with you?" She shout-whispered. "You just freaked Macy out because you looked like you were having a heat stroke."

I sat up but Macy came behind me and pushed me back down. "Are you okay?" She asked me, looking around my face and wipping off sweat with a cold towel. The cold felt so good I had to close my eyes to forget about the sudden heat. Macy was being so gentle.

"Conrad?" Macy said my name and I darted my eyes to her, then to Mary who gave me a 'you better not do something stupid' look. Right, I had to be normal.

"I'm fine."

Mary narrowed her eyes at me and I realized my tone was probably too harsh. Like fucking always.

Journey came up behind Macy and she sat on the same couch I layed on, right at my hip and she leaned over to dab my face some more. Her dog sniffed me rapidly to see if I was okay and I tried to pat him off.

"How is it that he almost likes you more than me." Macy said.

"Are you kidding? That dog is in love with you." And that's why he loves me too.

She smiled and pulled Journey toward her. He made a noise, something like an annoyed grunt but Macy only laughed. "Wow you're being sassy." She told him.

"Sassy." Mary repeated with a laugh.

Mary didn't look too different from when I last saw her. Her clothes were more formal, I assumed.

It was beginning to make me uncomfortable with the three of them around me and in my face in worry. It was obvious that after Mary talked to Macy and they made up.

Mary gave me a look as if to say your welcome when she excused herself and pulled Journey along with her outside.

Macy was confused, and I tried to be too but I knew what was going on. "What happened?" She asked, having her eyes fixed on me.

I cleared my throat and licked my dry lips. "Not the most pleasant dream..."

"Do you... want to talk about it or?"

"I'd rather forget it."

She nodded in understanding, but something pushed me to tell her everything. Or at least tell her about my dream. "It was about Matthew." I told her.

She immediately directed her attention to me and turned on the couch, brushing against me in a smooth way. "I never told you, but when Aaron was... Like me. He was convinced that Matt killed himself."

Macy tilted her head. "Why did he think that?"

"I don't know, but he told me it was probably because he had nothing to come home to. No mother, an asshole father, fucked up brothers. It was nothing but bad memories." I couldn't sound nonchalant about it, but I tried to keep out any pain that threatened to leak through my voice.