Never Giving Up...

Chapter 28: Perfection Is The Disease of a Nation

~~ Abigail's POV ~~ 

It hurts so bad, it's like a never-ending pain. I wished someone had warned me that to be pretty there was going to pain. 

But I'd rather suffer this pain of hunger than feeling the emotional toll of failure and defeat. 

I'm currently in my room, I'm supposed to be downstairs with Austin and the guys since it's Austin's first day home, but honestly, right now, with everything that's been going on I rather be in my room and loathe in self-pity. Ever feel that way? When sometimes you just rather feel sad because it's the only thing you know.

~~ Aaron's POV ~~

"So where's Abigail?" I ask as I grab a slice of pizza.

"Oh, she's in her room, she's been dealing with a lot lately with her biological father and all... Do you mind grabbing her a few slices and taking it to her?" Austin says as he continues eating.

I know what's going on with her, I know what she will do with it, "yeah," I need to talk to her.

I grab a few slices of pizza and put them on a plate. I walk up the stairs and to her room. I knock on the door, "who is it?" I heard her ask.

"Aaron," I say.

"Come in," she says.

I walk into her room, "Austin wanted me to bring you some pizza," I hand it to her but she just sets it on the bed, "aren't you gonna eat it?"

"Hmm? Yeah! I just-"

"You just don't want to," I say finishing her sentence for her.

"Why would you say that?" She puts on a fake smile.

"I had a cousin that used to have an eating disorder," I said almost silently. 

"I don't have an eating disorder if that's what you're wondering," she says as she continues to do her homework on her desk, I walk to the side of her bed and bent down, "what are you doing?" She asks standing up.

"She used to hide her food under her bed," I pick up the bed cover and reach under the bed, grabbing the containers, "like this," I say as I placed the containers of days old food onto the bed. 

She stayed silent for a few seconds, "Don't tell, Austin," She said quietly. 

"He has to know," I say as I stand up. She is physically hurting herself, this isn't healthy and Austin has to know this so he can help her. I wasn't going to keep it a secret because I'll just feel guilty I'll feel like I am helping her.

"No!" She yells out, "please!"

I shake my head, "you can't be doing this. I'm sorry but Austin has to know," I walk to the door, "Austin, can you come up here?" I called out. 

"Yeah!" He yells back.

"Aaron, please," she looks at me with tears in her eyes.

"I'm doing this because I love you and because I want you to live a healthy life," I say as Austin walks in the room.

"What's going on?" He asks as he looks at me and then at Abigail who was standing by the bed. He then notices the containers that were on the bed. He walks over to them without saying anything and picks them up. 

"Abigail hasn't been eating. She's been putting the food in those containers and leaving them under her bed," I say to Austin. Abigail looked at me like I had betrayed her, it honestly broke my heart but I know Austin needed to know what is going on. 

He looks at Abigail in disbelief, "is this true?" He asks her she looks away as she starts to cry. Austin bends down beside the bed and takes out the other containers, "how long?" She doesn't look at him, "how long, Abigail?!" He yells.

She turns around as the tears run down her face, "since Caroline's death right? You didn't know how to handle the grief so you starved yourself because you didn't think people would notice?"

She nods, "I'm sorry," she says looking at Austin.

Austin gets up and hugs her, "I don't want to lose you."

"I'll leave you guys alone," I say as I head towards the door.

"Aaron," Austin says as I turn to look at him, "thank you."

I nod and leave the room. I hate that I was right. I wish I wasn't right sometimes.

~~ Austin's POV ~~

"Why?" I ask her, "I want to hear you tell me why. Why would you do this to yourself? What else have you done?" 

I sat down on her bed beside the containers, she stayed quiet for a bit, "I've uh, I've cut myself a few times, as well," I looked at her, wide eyes, how did I not notice the cuts? Yet, I've never seen them. "I haven't done it in a long time, though." 

"How long?" She just shrugged. 

"I haven't felt the need too." 

"But you felt the need to do this?" I asked as I picked up a container. 

She sighed, "I'm not pretty, Austin! and I wish I was!"

I looked at her in disbelief, "How can you say that?" 

She sniffled, "because it's true." 

"Abigail Marie Carlile!" I said sternly but I couldn't help but smile, I was using her full name, she was an official Carlile, "Everything you just said is not true. You are gorgeous and you perfect just the way you are. You are a very thing girl and you need to eat. This isn't healthy..." I stayed silent for a bit, thinking about the reasons why she would think she isn't pretty. "Are people telling you that you aren't pretty?" 

"Sometimes," She said silently as she looked towards the ground. 

I sighed, "Look at me, Abigail," she wouldn't look at me. So I grabbed her arm gently and sat her on my lap, "look at me." She finally looked at me, tears welled up in her eyes, she was truly broken. "Don't believe the shit they say, okay? Because trust me, you are perfect and you are very pretty. You going to a private school where there will be boys scares me because I know they will be all over my little girl," She laughed slightly. 

"I'm sorry, Austin," She said softly as she leaned her head on my shoulder. 

I rubbed her back and kissed the top her head, "promise me you won't hurt yourself in any way again? I don't want to loose you in any way." 

"I promise." 

I smiled, "Now go downstairs and eat before Alan finishes it all, I'll clean this up." 

She nods and picks the plate with pizza that Aaron had left and walked out of the room. I picked up as many containers as I can and walked downstairs, walking out of the house and to the dumpsters. It took me two trips but I got them all out of the room. I then lit a candle in her room because it honestly stunk from all the rotting food. 

I sighed to myself as I took in one last look at her room, I'm a parent now and this isn't going to get any easier. But I'm so happy that she is now my daughter and I can yell at her saying, 'Abigail Marie Carlile.' Like I just did.