If You Do

~The Upbringing Past~

Mark's P.O.V.

Today is the way where I regreted ever falling in love.

I was sitting on the couch, doing nothing when dad's footsteps are clearly heard. He liked wearing leather shoes so when his feet touched the ground, it will always make this annoying tune even when you noticed that the annoying sound is made by a very annoying person.

"Mark, I heard what you told Diane yesterday" Here we go again, talking about that unwanted marriage with me. He came down from the stairs and looked at me as if he already wanted to murder me, but then I furrowed my brows. What did I tell Diane yesterday? Ah, all the insulting words I said about her father. She was in the verge of tears actually, I wanted to laugh at how pathetic she is, crying because of her selfish father. I don't understand why she still loves him even if he wanted her life to become miserable.

"She told you? I didn't know that she was that weak" I smirked as I saw my father making his hands into a fist, he wanted to hurt me. See? What kind of father would want to hurt his child? He kept on telling me that I made my life miserable, but why would he blame me?Why would he think that I chose to make my life miserable when all I ever did is to follow his intructions? I'm not a robot to be controlled. So I tooked the chance to rebel against him because of this wedding.

"Stop calling her weak, you don't know Diane that much to judge her easily, it was the photographer who recorded it for me" Dad's tone hardened, I knew it pissed him off. He never really like someone who disrepects him especially when someone cuts him off and answer him in a very sarcastic way. He wanted everyone around him to be like the way he wanted him to, and I don't really liked his attitude with that.

"And you know her? Is that it?" I asked, I knew my question angers him more. He walked towards me so I braced myself to get hit, but then it never happened. My father is the type of guy who can hit you or do anything to you if you won't respect him, he'll do anything just to please and implant his values in your mind.

"Don't talk to your father like that" Mom then appeared from the kitchen and soothed dad, I knew my mom was hurt when all I ever do is hate my dad and disrespects him. I love my mom and my dad also, but I just hate it when he wants me to follow everything he told me. He said it was for my good, but this marriage won't be any good. Diane and I's future will only be ruined and we're going to hurt each other, I don't want this marriage because I know that I would hurt Diane. I don't know when, how and where, but I know that I will hurt her when the time comes.

"Daddy?" Josh appeared behind dad as he happily skipped some ladder levels carefully, thank god he was holding the railings. I would have a heart attck if he ever did fell at the ground, Dad and mom looked behind them only to see their grandchild looking at me expectingly, he was wearing his casual clothes that is very hardly understandable that a 4 years old boy picked for himself. He immediately ran towards me, with his backpack bouncing behind him as well.

"Mark comeback here! Where are you going to take Josh?" Mom and Dad asked as I immediately held Josh's hands and took him out of that house, I didn't dare to answer my parents knowing that they would eventually come to where we'll be going. I opened my car ad placed Josh on the passenger's seat, I know kids aren't allowed to eat there but since I already have his ID and follwed all the other rules, we won't get in trouble.

"Daddy? Are we going to see Mommy today?" Josh asked as he held the seatbelt I placed on his chest and clasped it with the lock beside him, he was holding the flowers we bought yesterday. Lilies. She always loved those. I smiled as I rememebered how she whinned when I playfully gave her a bouquet of white roses on her birthday, but I also bought her a bouquet of lilies which she playfully punched me since I made a prank on her.

"We will" I was throwned back to reality when I noticed that Josh is already poking my arm, he was staring at me with wide and innocent eyes, just like his mother. I smiled a bit and ruffled his hair, I closed the door and went to the driver's seat. We need to leave now or else my parents would come with us. Our drive towards our destination was very quiet, Josh was playing with the lilies on his hand and it seemed like he was also facinated like his mother. Once we reached the place, Josh smiled at me so I parked the car after he ran out of the car, he always wanted to reach her first.

"You know what Mommy, Daddy, a really beautiful girl came to visit Daddy Mark's house. She was so beautiful and kind" I heard Josh telling his parent's grave about what happened yesterday, Diane seemed to be very friendly around Josh, he kept on telling mom everything about Diane until he fell asleep last night. He said Diane was very pretty, she has a nice voice and she was very kind. I sat beside Josh on the green and grassy filed, it was very peaceful and beautiful here.

And, yes, I'm not Josh's foster father. He was the son of my girlfriend and an unknown man, named Kevin. She was eveything I wanted, beautiful, smart, kind and even has a humor. She liked beaing childish and I also loved the way she acts like she's not afraid but in reality, she is. She was eveything who made me happy, blessed and perfect. I was about to propose to her one day, everything was already planned, the wedding date, the gowns, the rings, everything... I just needed her 'yes'

But all my dreamed crashed down when she rejected me. I proposed to her that time, hoping that she will be the last person who would love me unconditionally. But then, my heart crashed when she told me the reason why she rejected me. She was pregnant. I was happy when she told me the news, but then it clicked, we still haven't done anything... the child she's carrying isn't mine. I was devastated, I left her without even thinking. I never heard of her after 5 months, I never knew that on the night I proposed to her, on the night she rejected me, and on the night I was betrayed... she left with her baby's father.

After 5 months, I was never myself. I was broken. Because of her. But one day, I decided to let her go. I wanted to change. To.be heartless so I wouldn't love again, fearing to get hurt. I drove somewhere, away from my home and just went anywhere. I was crossing the bridge that time, but then I saw a very familiar lady sitting on the passenger's seat on the car ifront of me, I was driving southward while they are driving northward. I momentarily froze on my seat as my car kept on accelerating in a very slow speed, it was Sue, my girlfriend. She was really with that man. I was angry at first, but what happened next made my heart drop. There was a truck behind me, he took an over take and crashed at Sue's car. Before my car could reach the top of the bridge, I stopped the car at the side and immediatly ran towards Sue's car. It crashed on a tree, my mind was telling me to save Sue and the man who I later found out, was Kevin. I opened the passenger's seat and saw Sue and Kevin, passed out, full of blood. I immediately checked their pulses... but I couldn't feel anything, I looked at her tummy and saw that it was bloated. It seemed like she was already going to give birth. I immediately called the cops and the hospital to send someone here, the truck's driver stayed so I told him to tell everything to the cops. I took Sue out of the car and sent her right away to the hospital, I may have already lose her, but she wouldn't lose her baby.

"Josh, it's time to go" I ruffled Josh's hair, he looked at me with sadness but then it immediately lit up.

"Bye Mommy, bye Daddy! We'll come back, I promise"