Effort At Its Finest (Brother's Bestfriend)

Fill Me With Memories

"I admit a little. But I still can't stand her." He grumbled, making me afraid of what he would do when we got inside. What would she do? Would she be ashamed? Shy or angry at me for reminding her of her mistake? My real question was how could Cory stay angry at Macy? How could anyone?

It was a hypocritical thought. I was the one who said I hated her. I told her that, in pure anger. Hoping it hurt her, hoping it bothered that green-eyed girl. But she never showed it. I just knew. I had to, because if it weren't true, everything I saw in her eyes was an illusion. It wasn't; she once proved it me.

And Macy amazed me even more when she waltzed in my room and told me she loved me, then kissed me full on. It took me everything not to lose myself, but I finally did, when she kissed me a second time. Teasing me, pulling at the parts that drove me crazy. It was just too much and I had to have her. It definetly the hardest thing to figure out what to do, especially in that position. I practically cried. I'm a man, I don't cry.

I reminded myself of how I was just drowning in her scent and skin just by one kiss. She made me shake, she made me... I almost cried. What the fuck was happening to me? I couldn't stop thinking that when I layed with her sleeping in my arms and I surrounded by her warmth. It was after I told her about Matthew, my brother. I opened up too quickly- or so I thought. It took me until after she left for me to realize that's all I had to do, open up.

Pulling into the driveway  and seeing the way Cory stared at the house with his scrunched up nose and face that said, 'Ew.'

"I have to tell you something. Before we go in." I started.

Cory looked at me curiously and faced me. "Macy..." I hated saying it. I was weak. I was weak when saying it, and it crumbled me, turning me into a sap, a little whining bitch. I rubbed my chin nervously and my hand drove through my hair like my tangled nerves. "She's... Engaged. She's getting married." I had to say it twice, in different ways. It just made me more and more sure that she's no longer in love with me. I lost that chance four years ago.

Cory's face morphed into anger, and hatred. He balled his fist and looked away from me and the house. "Cory, say something." His silence was strange because the feeling he was giving me. I didn't want him upset, but he had to know because he was going to eventually.

"She's a bitch!" He said, kicking at the glove compartment in front of him. He was breathing a little heavier and I waited, hoping he wouldn't cry again.

"Cory!" I scolded him.

"No, I can say what I want. I told you, just because you love her doesn't mean I still do!" He shouted in frustration. "How could you even still love her after this?" He said quietly.

"Cory, I don't even know what I'm doing with this 'love' thing. I've probably screwed up more than I know. And you need to realize that it was me who pushed her away. I rejected her and I treated her like shit."

"Why did you did that?" He asked, seeming to remember how awful I was to her.

I sighed, trying to figure out why I did. And how to say one of the reasons I was aware of.

"I was scared." I said.

"Of what?"

"I never thought about someone like I thought about her. I never respected women until I met her, and she scared me because I thought I was losing control of myself."

"D'you know that saying?" Cory began, looking at me with those mature-child eyes. "'Love makes you do crazy things.'"

I smiled and chuckled shortly. "Yeah. Yeah, I've heard it before."