Indespectus ✔

03 - Down the Rabbit Hole

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"gloria in latrones"
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"Honour amongst thieves"

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03

My entire body tenses as I pound the sandbag. Training always helped me to get my frustrations out, whether it be through school or circumstance. Sometimes I just wanted to forget about everything. The fact I was trained to kill, I have murdered tens, maybe hundreds. In the moments I trained I forgot who I was.

It was a relief in many meanings of the word, it's my salvation. Nine times out of ten I would rather punch a lump of sand than an actual person, it's why I killed with a gun because I didn't like blood on my hands literally I preferred the mental idea of blood.

The sweat rolled down my forehead and my back as punch after punch was thrown into the bag. My knuckles were beginning to redden, I have to stop soon before I made the marks more noticeable. The white bandage slowly being stained red.

"Are you planning on stopping anytime soon? You are seriously going to fuck up your knuckles."

I'll admit it startled me a bit, Vi's booming voice comes from behind me. Turning around slowly to face him I answer.

"I know, why do you think I keep doing it?" I land one more punch before stopping the punches, my knuckles hurt like fuck but they reminded me that all this is real, that I am indeed alive.

Morbid I know. Vi continues to walk into the training room, lines of different weapons donned the walls. A few punching bags suspended from the ceilings, targets set up across the room with multiple bullet holes. The training room runs under the entire house, it was a converted basement sound proofed of course. Didn't need the neighbours hearing gunshots during the night.

Vi continues to pick up boxing pads out of the box and stands in front of me, hands out. He wanted me to punch him instead of fucking up my knuckles even more. He's a good partner and friend. Vi knew when I was troubled and always tried to help me in some way like an older brother. Even right down to the annoyance.

"So are you going to tell me what has you down here in the little hours of the morning? Punching the shit out of the bag?" he raises a perfectly defined eyebrow. Punch left, punch right.

"Why does there have to be something wrong for me to want to punch something?" Punch.

"I know you never punch anything and like to handle a gun so why wouldn't I. Cut the shit and tell me, I know your planning on distracting me."

I sigh before landing an especially hard punch on him.

"Why the fuck are you always right you pain in the ass?" he smiles at that.

"Because I'm your partner and I know you more than you know yourself." His brown hair falls to the side as he tilts his head. Honey coloured eyes stare into my green ones. Expectant. I couldn't tell him about the mission I have been entrusted with since I was sixteen. The boss has kept a part of it strictly between us. But I did have an answer for Vi

"Life" is all I say.

"Anything in general about life? Or just the entire thing." I land a final punch before stopping entirely, I have to dress my knuckles and get ready for school.

"How about you guess since you know me better and all." I smile at him before hightailing it out of there. His raucous laughter following me up the stairs.

~*~

I'm back in my personal fleshy cage again. I guess it is my fault since I was the one who created it. The fabric of the oversized sweater acted like a room, all four walls closing in making it hard for me to breathe. It's no wonder I wasn't claustrophobic. My sense of belonging has always dwindled in this icy prison, I knew I didn't belong here.