Brave Enough To Love Again

Chapter 6

Eden

I leaned against the closed front door of my neighbor's apartment, my eyes closed shut, my breathing erratic. I shook my head vigorously.

What just happened? What did I do? I didn't even know his name for crying out loud, and for me to behave this wantonly!? It was so unlike me.

Assuming that the superintendent had to be somewhere on the ground floor, I hurried downstairs, completely forgetting my lack of clothing. I came across an old couple on the way down, they both looked appalled, but I hadn't noticed them. I was completely engrossed with my thoughts. There were so many things racing through my head. Images of us kissing kept popping in my mind. I could have sworn that a giggle escaped my mouth, but I really wasn't sure. I was completely out of it. I slapped my face with both hands, as if to wake myself up from a stupor I couldn't get out of.

"Later! Think later! Get the damn keys first!" I said to myself.

I looked for a sign that might show the way to the superintendent, but there was none. I walked from door to door and looked around. Luck must have been on my side because I guy looking like one was walking towards me. I couldn't decider his facial expression. It kind of looked like a suppressed grin, but I really couldn't tell. My mind was barely working properly.

I got the keys, but the encounter with the superintendent was immediately forgotten. Hurriedly, I ran to my apartment and put on a pair of black ripped skinny jeans, a loose white off-shoulder sweater and my white sneakers, a pair of sunglasses completed my outfit. I had the door handle in my hand and was about to open the door, when somebody knocked at my front door.

I stopped moving and held my breath. My heart thumped loudly in my ears.

"Are you there? Can we talk? Please, let us talk!" came my neighbor's deep, husky voice, sounding so damn sexy, it was too much for me too handle.

I couldn't do it. I wasn't ready. I stood in front of my door, rooted to the spot, and waited. At some point I started feeling shaky only to realize that I had been holding my breath the whole time. I inhaled air as silently as I could, as if my breathing could have revealed my presence behind the door, which was ridiculous, of course.

He knocked for minutes, repeating the same questions and requests. And me? I just stood there, unmoving, with my heart racing.

When he finally gave up and left, I was annoyed and relieved at the same time. To my dismay, I realized that I was disappointed that he left, but was also glad at the same time.

What was wrong with me? I had completely lost my marbles.

I waited for another minute before moving. My muscles were stiff from standing still and tensed the whole time. I looked through the peephole just to make sure he wasn't there anymore, then quickly left my place and the building. I was walking fast, trying to put as much distance between us as possible.

It took me a while to realize that I had started running aimlessly. I didn't know where I was going. I bumped into quite a few people, who swore at me, but didn't care. I just kept running. When I stopped, I was completely out of breath. I looked around to orientate myself and decided to go to the park which was just a block away.

There, I could think.

I loved walking, because to me it had a meditative effect. Usually, strolls were the only time I could give my brain and myself a break. When I walked, I just walked. But this time was different. I had to think. I had to sort things out for myself first, before seeing him again. I couldn't avoid him forever. He knew where I lived for crying out loud!