The Next Morning //Nouis// boyxboy ✅

Chapter 39

Louis

My hands pressed against the wooden door that Niall just walked out of. I lied. Of course I did. I did think about  him. He hadn't left my brain but I couldn't let him know I was thinking about him. He had to feel heartbroken like I am. He had to feel his heart shatter like mine did when he let me.

Everything else was true though. I slept with guys, and I loved it. I loved having them inside me and to scream their name. They were giving me what I craved and what Niall didn't want to give me anymore. 

Ever since I found out I didn't have a child, a daughter, and that Zayn was the real father I couldn't trust anyone anymore. My life felt like a never ending rollercoaster of issues. Some of them were like the small bumps, the others were like the drop from the top where you felt the wind pushing against your face, screaming as your stomach did flips until you stopped at the bottom. Everything in my life was fine until the X Factor. Up until then it was easy, steady, I had no major issues. Now, I've lost a girlfriend of four years, had my dad try to re-connect, then do something utterly stupid to get my attention, I had hate from people, telling me I shouldn't even be apart of the band because I wasn't a good singer. Then Niall came into it in a way I never expected and it was good. It was better I was happy again. That dream crashed and burned like many others. 

"I still love you" I whispered allowing stray tears to roll down my cheeks. Why must I be so stupid.

+

I pulled a black t-shirt over my head to go with my black jeans and black converses. I looked in the mirror and ran a hand through my messy brown hair. I generally looked terrible. I could see it. You'd have to be crazy to not see my bones pointing out of my body. 

Tonight was the fifth concert in Australia. Our Adelaide concert, which meant we were nearing the end of our Australian tour and I knew Niall would be upset. He loved this country, I wouldn't be surprised if he moved here one day. 

"Oi Tommo. You ready?" Harry shouted out to me. Harry was worried about me, ever since the birth. He saw how badly that affected me and I hated that. He was the only one who knew about the baby's real father. Liam knew about the baby not being mine. Niall still had no idea, I told them I would tell him. One day he'll know, but for now, I wasn't speaking to him. 

"Yeah" I stepped out of the change room and into view of my three band mates, all ready for the concert. I caught sight of Niall first. Loose blue jeans, a muscle tee and high tops. His hair was in some sort of quiff and his brown roots were beginning to seep through the blonde. I bit my lip to hide how I truly felt about him. I couldn't break myself. 

"Right. Are we ready lads?" Liam asked, we all gave a nod before running on stage. The time I made it I was already breathless. I had been every concert so far. No one seemed to notice. 

The show started with a loud drum, the lights were out and blinded everyone as soon as we appeared on stage busting out What Makes You Beautiful. We moved onto Where Do Broken Hearts Go? then stopped to talk. 

I stayed quiet and taking a sip of water. I felt too exhausted to continue. But I stayed strong. 

"Australia!" Niall cheered. "How are we tonight Adelaide?" they screamed back. "That's good. So as you all know, we're in the middle of making our sixth album. How exciting is that?" 

"Now Niall, it's not nice to tease" Liam joked with him. Everyone laughed. I smiled a little. "But speaking of songs. What song shall we do next?" 

Chants of songs got thrown at us, even though we all had our set list planned out already. Niall started strumming on his guitar to Live While We're Young and we got into our positions to sing. By the end of it, I was getting even more tired and maybe a little lightheaded. I shook it off and had some more water between our very short break of songs. 

The past concerts had been good. I had only felt tired, this though. This was something different. It wasn't right. It was the middle of the concert, things were settling down as one of my favourite songs was coming on to play. Love You Goodbye. I wrote this song after Eleanor and I split up, and it hold so much feelings. Niall looked at me when it began to play, like he had always done. I made sure not to look at him, he didn't need any confirmation that I liked him.

Liam began to sing, he was such a beautiful singer. I loved his voice. It was so lovely. He's so talented.

It's inevitable everything that's good comes to an end
It's impossible to know if after this we can still be friends, yeah
I know you're saying you don't wanna hurt me
Well, maybe you should show a little mercy
The way you look I know you didn't come to apologize

Now it was time for all of us to be the backing to Harry. I was always jealous of him. He was one of the best singers out of us, even better than Zayn. I was never as good as them, I grew into it later than the rest of them. 

Hey, hey, hey
Oh, why you wearing that to walk out of my life?
Hey, hey, hey
Oh, even though it's over you should stay tonight
Hey, hey, hey
If tomorrow you won't be mine
Won't you give it to me one last time?

Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye

Niall's turn. His was beautiful, with his Irish accent more prominent in the slower songs. And him singing this just felt too close to home for me. I kept my eyes down, I couldn't look at him, I'd probably cry, 

Unforgettable together, held the whole world in our hands
Unexplainable, a love that only we could understand, yeah
I know there's nothing I can do to change it
But is it something that can be negotiated?
My heart's already breaking, baby, go on, twist the knife

Back to Harry. Him and his damned good voice. 

Hey, hey, hey
Oh, why you wearing that to walk out of my life?
Hey, hey, hey
Oh, even though it's over you should stay tonight
Hey, hey, hey
If tomorrow you won't be mine
Won't you give it to me one last time?

Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye
Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye

Now it was my time. I was getting nervous. I saw all the hype about me having a high note for the first time, in such a long time. And it didn't help this song was making me think of Niall. How he just walked out, how it felt like a knife stabbing me in my chest. How I just wanted one more kiss. 

One more taste of your lips just to bring me back
To the places we've been and the nights we've had

I took a breath. The big note was coming and I wanted to impress. I couldn't let our fans down. Not now. Not ever. They were the reason for this.

Because if this is it then at least we could end it right

I lost my breath half way through the note, I became even more lightheaded. My eyes rolled back in my head and I felt my body falling backwards. Before I could hit the ground. Everything went black.

A/N okay REALLY short but, this is what was needed. I'm sorry I couldn't write it better.