The Wolf (Book 1)

My Goodbye

I was sitting down at table staring blankly into my plate, it was steak, my favourite, but somehow I didn’t feel like eating, partially because of the fact this was my last night with my family. I felt guilty for not telling them who I really was or the fact I was going to leave.

On the other hand I was also slightly annoyed because of Chey and Alex.

“Tilyer, are you ok?” I looked up to the sight of my mom smiling at me. I knew she didn’t want to smile and I was pretty sure she knew something was wrong.

“Yeah, I'm fine...” I smiled back at her trying to hide my emotions.

“OK... just be careful will you.”

I didn’t say anything, I was slightly confused by what she had meant but I guess she thought I was being bullied at school or some crap like that.

Dinner came and went like usual and I once again found myself in my room. I was lying down on my bed wondering how I should write the letter to my family explaining all of this.

My phone started ringing. I leaned over and grabbed my phone which was on my bed.

“Hey Matt.” I said as I picked up.

“How did you know it was me?”

“Caller ID”

“Oh... well Tilyer, make sure you write that letter to your mom and make sure Chris does that same ok, and do you remember what time you need to be at the den?”

“Yes...” to be honest I was pretty bored of this now “Leave my house at 4am and you will pick us up at around 5am kind of time.”

“Very good, well I need to go, sleep well Tilyer.” He sounded contempt.

“You too...”

I hung up the phone and dropped it next to me.

I had always imagined leaving my family as a good thing, an easy thing, not like this... I was now unsure as to whether I wanted this.

I rolled over, sat on the edge of my bed and let out a long sigh.

As I stood up I scanned my room for a pen and a piece of paper.

Once I had located these I took my pen, my piece of paper, and sat down at my desk.

I took off the lid and started writing; I hoped this would go well. Writing a letter to your family saying you are leaving didn’t always turn out well... well... most times it didn’t.

I woke up at 1am my head on my piece of paper and pen in hand.

I sat up and looked around, my desk must have had a dozen crumpled up pieces of paper on it, and I sighed and pushed them into my waste paper basket.

I took my pen and started writing again, this time this letter was going to be ok.

I finished it off and put the lid back on my pen, I started to read the letter as I lifted it up.

Dear Family.

First of all I want to say thank you, for everything you have done for me, I really appreciate it. You guys taught me a lot of what I know and I'm glad you were there for me when I needed you.

I want you guys not to worry about me, at all. By the time you have read this I will be on a plane to somewhere far away, North American to be exact. I’m not leaving because I hate you, but because I love you. Please do not come looking for me, your efforts will be futile.

I am different from all of you in ways you might never understand or even hear of.

I want you guys to know I love you and I will write to you from time to time.

I don’t know when I will be able to but don’t worry, we will talk again, and I promise that one day I shall come visit you again.

I have a picture of you all and I will look at it every day.

Once again, I love you guys, I'm so sorry I have to leave you like this, you shall all be forever in my heart.

Love you all.

Tilyer XXXX

I didn’t really want to write much more, even though I knew I could write pages to them I didn’t want to make it too long. A short letter would be enough and I knew my mom would burst into tears as she read this.

I slipped the letter into an envelope and with it a picture of me and my mom when I was a baby, she loved that photo and it was the only copy we had.

I closed the envelope and addressed it to my mom.

I got up and walked out of my room. The house was quite, dark, and warm. I would miss this house, all the good times I had with my brother, sister, mom, and step dad would be missed.

Staring blankly at the letter I walked into the kitchen, I took a few moments to look around and put the letter on the table where my mom always sits.

It was 1:15am, I walked over to the fridge, took out the milk and then a glass.

I quietly drank my glass of milk before taking a mars bar. I wasn’t even going to eat it.

I walked back to my bedroom and closed the door. I opened my wardrobe and took out my bag that I had packed.

It really wasn’t much, but I knew I wasn’t allowed much; Jerry had given us a brief and said it had to be a backpack because we would be walking for a while.

It was my hiking backpack my mom had bought me, it meant a lot to me. She had bought it before the summer holidays last year; I was going hiking with my family back in France.

I guess it was big enough, it held a pair of dark blue jeans, some combat trousers, 3 T-shirts, a sweatshirt, several pairs of socks and boxer shorts, a bandana, some gloves, pair of sunglasses, money, torch, knife, three books, pens, paper, and a photo of my family. I double checked it added my binoculars.

I was going to wear what I was wearing now so on top of all of that I would have, black jeans, another T-shirt, a black hoodie, and my black trainers.

I also had the intention of wearing my leather jacket, it was black and I wore it everywhere.

I wasn’t worried about cold nights because it was summer, but when winter came I'm sure by then we would be somewhere warm, and in the case I wasn’t, I would just shift before going to sleep, even though that thought worried me I didn’t really mind since it was still a while away.

I lay down in bed with my headphones in listening to some calm music, I had set the alarm on my IPOD for 3:45am, and I had planned to meet up with Chris in front of my house at 4am.

He lived just down the road so it wouldn’t really be a problem, a ten minute walk didn’t hurt anyone.

As I drifted into a world of dreams I thought I saw Chey, Alex, Chris and I all running, happy, playing, as friends. It was wonderful, happy, and nice. As we ran through a field we slowly came to a stop, where Chey and Alex frowned and turned away... and that was how it was, that’s exactly what they had done, Chris was on the floor, crying. I knew this is probably what had happened to him the night Alex and Chey.

My dream was then suddenly invaded with the sound of music, Get Out Alive by Three Days Grace to be exact.

I woke up and turned my alarm off; I hated dreams that reflected my life. I sat up and got out of bed. I hadn’t been bothered to get changed so I was still dressed.

I took the mars bar I had on my desk and put it in my backpack. I picked up my shoes, tied my cowboy hat to my bag, and I opened my door, still holding on I took one last look behind me.

“Bye” I whispered softly to myself, and with that I turned off the light and closed the door.

I slipped on my shoes and took my house key off my key ring, after staring blankly at it for a few moments before I put it on a small table in the corridor.

I slide the bolt at the top of the door right and opened it slowly, closing the door even slower.

I walked down my drive glancing back one last time at my house, whispering goodbye to my family. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and walked to the sidewalk where a familiar figure walked up to me.