Madness (Completed)

Thoughts

I walk back yo the pub with the words from Jack still echoing in my mind. I guess I really didn't want to know what made him so mad, but that didn't make me stop pushing him. The scene replays in my mind and I sigh.
"Jack! Tell me what's wrong!" I had shouted, making Jack stop to face me once more. However, the look he gave me wasn't any that I had seen before. He had tears in his eyes, but rage covering his face like a mask.
"You don't want to know, just let me go home. I'll see you later." Jack responded in a tone that was slightly angered.
"I want to know! Tell me what's wrong." I begged, just wanting to know what had made him that way.
"You." He responded simply, swiping my hand off him.
"What? Why?" I questioned in shock and fear from why he could ever think something about me. I guess it was because I love him so much that his words hurt me like they did, like they still do.
"Half the time you're with me and the other half... You're with god knows who and every time it's when I really think you have bounced back to me. But you always like to prove me wrong, because you don't stay for very long before you go running to someone else. And Violet, I don't want to be a puppet to you anymore." Jack said as his hand reached up and untied his ribbon around his wrist, letting it fall to the ground.
"Jack, please... Think about what you're doing!" I had said with tears starting to fall from my eyes.
"This is the only time I'm actually thinking, I can't be tossed around like this Violet. If you show me that I can actually trust you to be with me, then maybe we can work something out later. Right now though, I'm not doing this." Jack said as he turned away from me and walked away from me and our promise that still was on the ground. I had cried out his name, begging him to come back for me, but he never did. He just kept walking and left me alone with my mind. I had knelt down and picked up his old ribbon that now had grime from the street on it. I held it close to my heart where I cried as if Jack was still there to support me. Even though the hard truth was that Jack wasn't there and I didn't know if he ever would be again.

I feel a tear drip down my cheek just at the memory coming back to me, still very vivid and horrifying. Jack was always the point in my life I could go back to. He was like my home base and everyone else just fit in around us. But now that I'm alone, without him, everything that had built up is now gone and I truly am alone. Just alone with no one near me but my thoughts and my mind that consumes me every day. I wipe the tear off my face, almost slapping myself in the process, which just makes me think more. Am I mad at myself because of what happened with Jack? It wouldn't surprise me in all honesty. I hold onto his ribbon with all my might, as if someone was trying to pry it from my fingers. I change my path of where I'm heading, I can't face the guys right now. Not like this anyway. I start towards a place that no one will know me and I can just sit in my own misery.

I get to an abandoned building on the far edge of town. I throw the knife from my combat boot through the window and it shatters instantly allowing me an entrance. I crawl through the broken window, pieces of glass cutting my arms and legs on my way in, but I don't care. I fall onto the ground which still have glass shards covering it. Many pieces cut my hands and one even cuts deeply into my cheek making blood gush all over my face. I must look disgusting, no wonder Jack left me. I continue to crawl into a corner of the room where I find my knife again, jut lying on the ground in front of me. I pick it up and shove it where I had gotten it previously. Shelves with white cloths over them lie on the ground near me, I guess they were forgotten and left behind when this building was abandoned... Almost like me. I'm sure Jack has already moved on from me and will forget about everything we shared soon. I doubt I meant much to him anyways, not nearly as much as he had meant to me... As he still does mean to me.
"God, Violet... Stop being so clingy." I mumble to myself in a tone full of disgust. And I was right to say it, I need to stop clinging onto the memory of Jack and let him go like he will let me go. After all, why is he so important to me now anyways? He left me, throwing me away like a piece of garbage. Come to think of it, I now have one less problem in my life. One less man to try to control me. Actually, Jack was the one who got me into this mess. He planned this stupid wedding, bought the stupid house I never wanted, and brought Ian to this compound. He basically made this place, this one place that I thought I could actually be safe at, a place that couldn't be more dangerous. Come to think of it, Jack isn't the only person I don't need in my life. The only people I ever needed, Jack actually drove away from me.
"Kate! Lily! I need you back!" I shout, holding that the voices in my head can actually help me this time and be who I believe them to be.
"Hey, it's so good to be wanted again." Kate says with a wicked laugh, but I enjoy it.
"Hi Violet, are you alright?" Lily questions me in a worried tone.
"Now that you guys are back, I'm doing great." I say with a small laugh. I don't need you either Jack, the only people I need I have had all along. I grab the ribbon on my wrist and tear it off me, throwing it to the other side of the room where I let Jack's go as well.
"Was that really necessary?" Kate chuckles.
"I don't want to be linked with him anymore Kate, so yes it was." I say in a dark tone and crack a smile from my lips.
"Finally, you realize that I was right. You should've never trusted him, just like I said when you met him." Kate says with a slight scoff.
"You were right, but I can't change anything about it right now." I mumble in an annoyed tone.
"We should leave." Kate offers.
"No, it's safe here." Lily argues, responding almost instantly.
"Not anymore!" I shout at her.
"Just think this through before you do anything Violet. What would be even a little better out there? Just answer me that." Lily says.
"She wouldn't be in a forced wedding out there." Kate says.
"And I wouldn't have to be anywhere near the guys." I say with a small laugh, more in relief from the situation than anything else. "I would be free..." I add, starting to laugh really hard at my revaluation.
"Violet, think before you-"
"All I can do is think now Lily, and I've thought this through well." I tell her with a grin spreading on my face and tears forming in my eyes.
"You won't be able to come back if you do this, you know that right?" Lily questions me calmly, in a way Jack used to when I was upset or needed to be calmed down.
"I know Lily! If you're going to be like this then just leave me alone! I don't need someone else to tell me I'm wrong! So if that's what you're going to do then just leave!" I shout, with my hands on either side of my head as if I could tear her out of there.
"Fine. Good luck Violet, maybe we can work something out later." Lily says. The words she said, Jack had said to me when he left. I shake my head, trying to erase the memory from my life. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I'm not going to let that awful moment consume me like it has so far. I close my eyes to stop any tears from coming and I just scream, hating everything around me. I pound my fists into the ground over and over and over again until I feel blood drip from my knuckles and I start crying again. God, have I always been this weak?