Lost Love - Complete

Bonus II

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Bonus II

Zoe

I thought Eric was happy with the news of the baby and he looked so. The first month after I told him, he wouldn't stop smiling at me and kissing me every minute. Literally. But things started getting weird after a while. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night and he wouldn't be on his side of the bed like always, holding me tightly to him as if he was afraid I'd disappear. The first times, I'd go looking for him and he'd be either standing in the kitchen, looking outside the window to our garden. Sometimes he'd be in Jane's room, sleeping next to her. Other times, he'd simply fall asleep on the couch with the television room. At the beginning, I'd talk to him and ask if something was wrong but he always assured me that everything was perfect but he couldn't lie to me. We'd been married for four years and ever since I met him, he has always been really honest and up front with me and everything else so it surprises me that he'd lie at me. His wife. I wanted to confront him but there wasn't the chance. He started bringing his work home and he would busy himself. He still pays enough attention to our kids and to me too. Although less to me. He leaves early in the morning and is coming later and later to our home, he stays with Jane and Jace and plays with them for a little while before putting them to sleep. Then he'd come to our room and if I hadn't been tired or sleeping, he'd kiss me and tuck me in before going back outside and keep working or relaxing in front of the television.

I don't want to believe that the spark between us is fading. I want to believe that we are strong and keep getting stronger but my mind is starting to wander and wonder if something is wrong.

My worries increased when after the first trimester, he'd come home smelling of alcohol. Not a lot but I could taste some wine when he'd kissed me. He also started coming home and tell me that he had already eaten. He says that he was on business dinner with Mr. Coleman, his boss. I don't doubt him because I trust him and also because his boss has unknowingly confirmed that they'd been out on making the business larger and bringing investors. He'd tell me so when he came the first time for dinner to our home.

When Mr. Coleman had to leave back to his main office, he took Eric with him on business. I don't want to sound clingy but he barely talked to me. He'd just call, the four days he went away, ask about our children and wished me a good night. I knew he was tired just like I was with my pregnancy so I didn't tell him about my needs and just let it go.

But I felt worse when he came back home. He'd still work late and bring his work but the last two weeks, I don't know if my senses heightened with the pregnancy or what but I could smell perfume on him. It wasn't mine and it surely wasn't his. And with my crazy hormones, I'd cry myself to sleep, not even waiting for him to come to bed. I was afraid he might be cheating on me but I didn't even want to think about it. I wanted to keep believing that he loves me and that he wouldn't do something as atrocious as that but I couldn't ignore the smell on him. I made sure that what I was feeling was real. Whenever I woke up at night, I'd go to our walk in closet and smell the shirt he wore earlier that day. I felt stupid for doing so but I needed some sort of reassurance. I didn't have my reassurance. Actually, it was the complete opposite. I found a blondish hair on the shirt. I also didn't want to talk to him about this if I wasn't sure and now that I know that what I smelled is exactly what I thought it was, I wanted to confront him but I just need the time to sit down with him and talk.

I woke up the next day to Eric cursing. I turned around and saw him clutching his knee. He didn't realize that I had woken up so I took the chances to fully see him. Observe him. I saw that there were big bags under his eyes. He hasn't shaven in the past days so his stubble was becoming a beard. His eyes lacked the shine in them and his face looked thinner. Actually, overall he had lost weight. Not much but it was quite noticeable.