I Have Nothing To Lose

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(Chapter 18)
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Nikki's Pov

That morning, my alarm started it's incessant beeping at 7:30 am, long before anyone should be up but I had a lot to do today. John continued to sleep on next to me as I shut off my alarm and dragged myself out of the bed and headed into my walk in closet looking at all of my clothes trying to figure out what I should wear today. I ended up deciding on a maxi dress. I walked back into the room to find John still sleeping so I made my way over to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I stripped and turned on the water.

"Ahhh." The hot water was just what I needed. As the warm drops ran down my body they began to wake me up, I started thinking about what John had done to me the night before in the kitchen, the living room, patio, gym, up against the wall, and our room. I stepped back and arched into the spray so that it hit me hardening nipples with full force.

I grabbed my loofa and lathered it up then lightly dragged it up my right arm and across my erect nipples while the thought of last night played over and over in my mind. I hung the loofa up and pinched my nipples, rolling them, then slid my middle finger of my right hand between my aching pussy lips. "Mmmm . . . "

I closed my eyes. The feel of the water on my chest, was almost as if the tip of someone's tongue were licking my tits, my slick finger sliding up and down over my clit, circling it, were all delicious. My breathing began to deepened.

I never heard the shower curtain move but I felt Johns hard body press against mine from behind. He didn't say anything he just pressed my arms up and forward with his to brace my hands against the shower wall as his cock pushed between my pussy lips. My body eagerly swallowed it deep inside of me. He pushed farther forward, my breasts against the shower wall as he pulled back a bit then slammed up into me.

I moaned again, the rhythmic thrusting and grunting, the slap of flesh on flesh. It made me remember those night out on the beach in Maui.

I rolled my hips and pushed back against his thrusts. "Yes!" I cried softly.

The heat, the steam, the wet bodies in the early morning, it all felt so unreal and so exciting. I didn't want it to ever stop. When his hand came down to touch my clit, I went off like a rocket, sparks behind me closed eyelids, gasping for air as he pinned me against the shower wall and thrust harder. John grunted and then moaned as he thrust in and held himself there, jerking just a little as his body shot it's load deep into me.

I sagged against the shower wall, suddenly nervous of falling as John stepped back and his cock slid out of me. I made a sound of protest but heard the curtain open, I grabbed his hand pulled him back to me and crashed his lips to mine I needed this intensity this passion was just what I needed to reassure me that maybe there is a part of him that wanted me.

After we finished showering he headed into the room where all his clothes were and I changed in the room where all my things were.

After I was dressed I really debated going to talk to him and seeing where we stood I had a ton of questions on my mind and I needed answers, another part of me wanted to just leave and deal with this another day but I knew that I couldn't because...

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After I was dressed I really debated going to talk to him and seeing where we stood I had a ton of questions on my mind and I needed answers, another part of me wanted to just leave and deal with this another day but I knew that I couldn't because Barbie and Joe were coming over for dinner today and I couldn't just pretend like everything is okay with us. I finally decided that I should talk to him and get this all over with but when I was walking the door there was a knock..

"Hey Nicole can I umm come in?" He said sounding a bit nervous.

"Sure." I said quickly running back to the bed and trying to pretend like I was about to go talk to him. He came in and saw me on the bed filing my nails I looked up and he was looking down. "What's up." I said putting the nail filer down if I had actually done anything to my nails I would have destroyed my manicure.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about Maui." He said not looking up at me.

"Why did you do it." I said trying not to cry.

"It's hard to explain I just want us to move past that and try to make this marriage work not only for us but for our families they have really high hopes for us." He said looking at me and coming to sit on the bed with me and grabbing my hands.

"I can't do that unless you tell me why." I said pulling my hands away and walking to the window.

"I guess it was just the fact that I could." He said staying where he was.

"What?" I said angry.

"It's just I've always been pushed into doing things that I didn't want and I'm sorry say but getting married wasn't something I wanted but it's what needed to be done I guess I was just so sick and tired of doing what everyone wanted me to do so when she came up to me I saw the opportunity and took it." He said in a way I understood this is life is what we have been taught since we were kids. I remember being told that when I was older I would be married to man from a good family and I would fall in love with him and have a family and my kids would be the same way. I was never taught that love and heart ache came before ever even getting married. "I never meant to hurt you, trust me if I did I would have come back and told you what I had done instead I chose to leave it behind and work on our marriage. I realized after that what I thought I wanted wasn't really it so I'm so sorry Nicole please give me... Give us the chance to work on this and hopefully start a family." He said coming to pull me close I don't know why but I was melting in his arms I wrapped my arms his neck and gave him a quick peck.

"Okay I forgive you but I swear John you do one more thing to hurt me and I'm done and believe me when I say I have nothing to lose

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"Okay I forgive you but I swear John you do one more thing to hurt me and I'm done and believe me when I say I have nothing to lose." I said and he nodded I began walking out of the room as he followed.

"Where you going?" He said as I grabbed my keys.

"I'm going to go check on Brie she's due any day now, then I'm headed to get my hair and nails done then store to buy something to make for dinner." I said making sure I had everything in my purse.

"Anything I need to do?" He said grabbing his keys too.

"Could you go to the florist and pick up down flowers for the dining room? Barbie and Joe are coming over for dinner." I said walking out and he followed.

"Okay." He said helping me into my car then driving away in his own.

I really hope this works........

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