3TS: The Chances of Starting Again

Flowers

I hope you find the happiness you're searching for.

The early morning rays of Tuesday gave me an inspiration. A hope for a chance at renewal of friendship. I inhaled the crisp, cold, morning air. Reminding me nothing of the fresh start ahead of me.

Last night, I had planned. I wrote down the outcomes. I wrote down the solutions. There was nothing I couldn't handle.

I looked on the back of the card, finding an odd contact number:

Pick your favorite flower, twirl it, and tell me where to pick you up.

I looked up. Flower? This wasn't there before. But I guessed it was the last-time-have-last-instructions time.

I peered at all the flowers in my mother's flower garden. She had so many of them, but the best one I thought of was the blue one almost hidden near the corner.

It was simple. It was cute. It wasn't grand. But it was the one that my mom loved best. It was the one she loved to give me.

So, of course, it was my favorite.

I picked a single forget-me-not flower, twirling it to see the petals move in a circular motion. "Uh..." I couldn't help but feel awkward. Wasn't this crazy? But crazy meant going back in time. Which supposedly wasn't possible until Ria came to me.

"Pick me up at my house." I said softly, just as a neighbor passed the garden.

Oh...I hope my neighbor doesn't think I'm crazy, Journal...

After a moment of silence, (that is, listening to the birds sing, someone's radio play, and someone's stove sizzle) I heard the roar of her tricycle down the street.

I abruptly stood up as she came up to me.

"Hey, gorgeous." Her smile. Her sunglasses. But mostly her eyes. They were as if she didn't even come to me last evening. The figure I saw yesterday was like a ghost.

She blew a bubble, "Ready to wave this cycle goodbye?"

"No." I whispered only to myself.

Yes, Journal. I will miss this cycle. But I was doing this for Arlene. If she knew what I was doing, she would be grateful. And she would finally be happy.

I climbed into the side car. "We're going a week back, New Year's Day. Right when Arlene sent me that poem."

I didn't know if Ria knew about "the poem", but I knew that she had eyes and ears all over the place to know all about me. And as she started up the tricycle, it meant that she knew "the poem".

As she sped faster and faster down the street, I couldn't help but look at the houses speeding past. Do I really want to do this? I told myself that, Journal, over and over.

But even as I came out of the tricycle, I felt something in my heart.

I felt unsure.

Ria shook me out of my thoughts.

"Krissa." Ria said softly, walking out of the tricycle to where I stood.

I looked at her as she spoke again, "Just to tell you, since this is most likely the last time we see each other. Thanks for the journey. Thanks for giving me an exciting time. I'll miss it. I'll miss you."

She hugged me, right there and then (which was supposedly night time at my house). I felt shocked for a moment. But her words added the weight of this situation.

There was no turning back.

But with the pressure of the situation...with the pressure of having a fresh start...I felt her warmth as I hugged her even tighter.

"Thanks. For this opportunity." I whispered.

When we pulled away, I felt a tug at my pocket. She had taken out my card, but now, it had turned white.

"If you want to, you know, chat or talk...just contact me using this card. I'm available...and yours, for...maybe two more weeks." She said with a smile.

"Okay." I said simply.

Without another word, she climbed back into her tricycle. But as she started to turn her tricycle away, she gave me a few last words. "Krissa, I hope you find whatever you're looking for in this cycle. I hope you find happiness."

I didn't reply. Because I didn't know if I would find happiness at all.

So I just waved as she roared down the street one last time.