Jan. 29 That moment before confession... Your gulping, but feel like your choking on your own oxygen.
Journal, I only had enough courage to tell Arlene only a few minutes ago. After school. And through text.
I couldn't do it face to face. I didn't want to see her hurt face.
Me: Ar-Ar, how r u?
Ar-Ar: Stressssssed. I feel like I'm preparing EVERYTHING for this V-Ball! T.T how r u?
Oh no, she was stressed, Journal! But this guilt I'm holding inside...Ugh. I have to tell her!
Me: A guy asked me 2 go 2 the V-Ball w/ him.
Ar-Ar: Whuut?! Who? Why didn't u tell me? Aw... T_T
Me: Haha. Sorry, I was just distracted with things...
Ar-Ar: What 'things'?
Me: Busy things
Ar-Ar: :\ Ok...Anyways...WHO IS IT? Was it your dream guy??
I could never tell her he really was my dream guy. I had already lied to her that I had a different crush. It would probably hurt her even more if I tell her that I've liked him for the longest time.
But, the lie had been said. So I had to deal with it, Journal.
So I made my next text simple.
Me: Trent asked me today. And I said yes.
It actually took her several minutes to reply back. I didn't know what was going through her head right now. Maybe she was trying to text something, but couldn't find the words to say it. But, that was probably unlikely because she was smart and all...
Ar-Ar: Wow, that's great! I guess I can tell Leon yes. ;)
Me: Leon??
Ar-Ar: Yah, the guy that caught me in the hall. He asked me to the dance, remember?
Me: You mean the guy you fell onto? I don't think that's really a "catch". Haha. XD
Ar-Ar: Well, in my dream world, it was a catch. heehee
Me: Haha! Lol
Ar-Ar: Tell me the whole story tomorrow, hah? I have a few more projects to finish up. And all the details for the upcoming V-dance!! ;) Text ya later. Me: :)
Smiley face. I kind of wanted to tell her the whole story. But mostly, I didn't want to tell her. She's been liking this guy longer than I have been, journal. And then seeing him with your best friend?
...
...
If I was in her shoes, it would be tough.
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