3TS: The Chances of Starting Again

A Cracked Guitar

I was there. With him.

Journal, I don't have to tell you how many times Arlene jumped on our way back. And the way she stared into space. And the way she clung to me to know what our conversation was.

You know why? Well, because it's too much work for me to explain.

All I can say is:

She was so happy. So happy that she stayed up late, chatting to me on Facebook that night. So happy, that she got a cough from staying up late. She was so happy that she couldn't go to school the next day.

And that left me with no friend to eat with during lunch. Well, yes, I have other friends. But Jessie was busy with her piano practice, Nicky was busy reading for a report in the library, and Angela was hanging out with her parents at a café down the street for lunch.

So that left me standing there in the cafeteria, holding my lunch tray. Of course, there were many tables to sit at, but all of them were occupied or reserved by cluttered backpacks. So, I headed outside to eat.

What is cool about our school is that our cafeteria is right next to the track field and the stands. So when I stepped out, I was sure there were plenty of seats for me to sit in. I looked out at the empty field, with its dark red track and basketball court near it. A few boys were playing basketball, but most of them were in the cafeteria getting a bite to eat.

I started up the steps of the stands to get a higher view of the field. As I walked, I gazed at the field, imagining myself standing in the middle of the field. With a guitar in hand, I was singing a song for the annual school prom. I smiled and shook my head. Like that was going to happen.

But you're the best guitarist in the whole school!

I smiled at my own joke. Trent could give a good compliment when he wanted to. That was his most courageous and cutest trait. Amongst other cool traits of his.

Like his guitar playing.

Journal, sadly, I was thinking of his guitar playing again. This was literally my fourth time thinking about it, the first was when I had gone to bed that night, then in the morning when I looked at my cracked guitar, when Arlene texted me that she couldn't make it to school, and finally when I was standing there.

"Krissa!"

My mind seemed to shut out all thoughts except one. Was that Trent?

I turned and looked up to see Trent sitting in the benches.

All by himself.

I blinked. Was this just my imagination? Since I thought about him so much, I was finally hallucinating? Was I imagining that he gestured to me to sit next to him?

My heart beat faster, and my lunch tray almost slipped out of my hands. My legs moved automatically under me.

As I came closer, I finally realized that he was real.

Before I knew it, I was sitting right next to him. And he was in front of me. Even in his school uniform, he looked so cool. The way he put his legs out front and rested his elbows on his knees. His watch, his clean cut that had grown out a bit, and his smile made him look like a popular boy. A fun guy. A gentleman.

In which he was. He looked his part.

"How's your guitar?"

I cleared my throat and wiped my forehead, brushing my hair to the side a little. Journal, I wish you could see me then. My knees were shaking under my skirt and I clenched my lunch tray with my other hand. And, hopefully, I didn't look messy.

Maybe if I go back in time, I could look at myself and see if I my hair wasn't combed enough or my face was too sweaty.

"It's okay, I guess. I need to get it fixed though."

"You should eat now."

"Ok." I started to eat my chicken.

I looked up to see his lunch at his side. "You don't want to eat?" Then I looked around us.

We were alone. Well, with some students down at the field playing basketball.

"And where are your friends?"

He looked into the distance, as if he had something on his mind. "They're all busy with school projects. And, I AM hungry, I was just-" He glanced at me, "thinking about...something." He smiled wide.

"Really? What were you thinking about?" I started to scoop up my rice.

From the corner of my eye, I could still see him looking at me, "You."

My hand went shaky, and rice dropped from my fork as I tried to get it into my mouth. "Huh?" I said, but it sounded more like, "Hmprh?" with all the rice that I was chewing.

And then he laughed aloud.

I smiled without showing my food, "Ugrh, yusth furnyth." I said, covering my mouth as rice fell. Well, Journal, I was really trying to say, "Ugh, you're funny."

He covered his mouth with his hand, mocking me, "Er sorryr, Krisma." He said as if he had food in his mouth. But he didn't. "Joke. I was thinking about my piano lesson..."

And then, that woman was there again. I zoomed out of the conversation with Trent. She was looking at us from the field. She was in the corner, next to a silver tricycle. But when she saw me looking, she turned away.

A phone beeped. Trent slipped his cellphone out of his pocket. I blinked and looked at him.

As he checked his message, I hurriedly tried to eat all of my food. So there won't be any further embarrassments. Journal, if you were a real girl like me, how embarrassing do you think it would be if food dropped from your mouth when your crush was talking to you?

I'm telling you, it doesn't look pretty.

He suddenly stood. "I got to go. I have an...appointment."

"Appointment?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

He started to put away his untouched food. "Yes, I'm learning piano with a teacher."

"Wow, you're a real musician." I stood also. There was no reason for me to stay here alone. And besides, my lunch was finished.

"Nope, you're the real musician around here. Didn't I tell you that last night?" He smiled and saluted to me as he hurried down the stairs.

I smiled back and chuckled. Remembering the first time his back had been turned at me. Remembering that first moment he had complimented me. Remembering the first time I had judged him, thinking that he was the same as all his other friends.

But today, I realized...

He was totally different from the rest of them.