Confessions From My Dead Mother

Is Happiness Possible Confessions Chapter 15

Confessions

Chapter 15

Is Happiness Possible?

Mae had left but I wasn’t sure how long it had been. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn’t even realized she was gone until a nurse came in to check on me. There was so much to consider and I just had no idea where to begin. I had no clues to aide in my quest and I was more lost than I had ever been in my seventeen years of life. I couldn’t even begin to fathom what I could do to help myself.

I stayed in the hospital for several days before they deemed me ft to go home with Mae. During everything that was going on we had formed a sort of truce. We weren’t at each others throats anymore, but it may have been more from the shock of the situation than anything else. We both knew we would never be close. My dad on the other hand still hadn’t spoken a word to anyone and he’d had a psychiatric evaluation. The psychiatrist agreed with the cops that he’d had some kind of psychotic break. I don’t think I’ll ever really know what was going on with him unless he decides to talk again. I doubt that happening anytime soon because when I look at him his eyes are blank like he’s not really there anymore.

They were going to transfer him to a state mandated facility for the criminally insane. I really don’t think that’s where he needed to be but we weren’t given much of a choice considering his attempt on my life and the severity of my injuries. I had ended up with a broke jaw, three broke ribs, a broken arm, and a fractured skull from the incident and I still wouldn’t be able to talk for another couple weeks.

As for school well it was soon to be out for the summer and I had made arrangements to attend summer school. Principal Garner had been really nice to me when she had found what had happened I had gotten off on the truancy but my classes still required summer school. I also had an appointment with the judge. I was going to have myself emancipated. I had talked to my mom’s lawyer about it and he agreed it was for the best. He said considering my current problems with living at home and the fact that I would be eighteen in August it wouldn’t be a problem. I hoped not I really needed to get back to mom’s cottage and get things back on track but I had decided I couldn’t let my quest consume me. I had to get my schooling caught up as well as my other more evident personal problems. In some ways I felt like this was a step in the right direction. I know I sound selfish and shallow once again but sometimes I needed to come first. I couldn’t get things right if I couldn’t come to terms with myself.

I was emancipated the day before summer school started under the conditions that I enrolled and attended summer school. I also had to sign up for tutoring because without the extra help I knew I couldn’t catch up. I had already began packing my things to move back to the cottage. I had a big to do list and one of the first things on that list was a simple phone call.

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Today was June first and my first official day of summer school and tutoring. It was only five fifteen in the morning but I was anxious for the day to start. I had decided despite everything today was going to be the first day of my new life. I was going to do the right things and I wasn’t going to give up on my quest. The quest was never far from my mind, I doubted until I either failed or succeeded it never would be. My wings were my constant reminder. I felt better about my decisions regarding the quest and myself than I ever had. I knew I was doing the right thing. I wasn’t sure how I knew but I did all the same.

I showered and got dressed for summer school and was finished by six forty. I put on a pot of coffee and began to plan my day. I had already planned it so many times in my head but I knew I couldn’t wait until my summer classes were finished for the day before making the phone call. I picked up my cell and scrolled through my contacts until I found the number I was looking for and hit send. The phone on the other end rang several times. I crossed my fingers and hoped the number was still the same. It had been so long since I had dialed it that I couldn’t be sure. I was fixing to hang up after the tenth ring when a sleepy voice answered.

“Hello.”

I was nervous but I had to do this and my voice shook when I spoke, “Don’t hang up, please.”

“God, Cat is that you?”

“Yeah Mary Beth it’s me.”

“Why are you calling me at the crack of dawn?” she replied grumpily.

“I had to talk to you.”

There was some back ground noises and a very loud thump, “Hang on a minute.” Then there was some more background noises and some cursing before she finally picked the phone back up.

“Gah, do you know it isn’t even seven yet?”

“I know but I really needed to talk to you.”

“Fine but if you’re talking to me I need coffee first.” It sounded like she was still half asleep.

“I have summer school this morning could you meet me somewhere after?”

“Oh, I guess I can. I need to know one thing why haven’t you been to school there’s a lot of gossip going around and I don’t know what to believe.” She sounded upset. “I mean if any of it’s true then I’m not really sure I should meet you.”

“It’s really complicated, I felt my hopes falling, “will you please meet me?”

“I guess but whatever it is you had better make it worth my time.” She was more awake now and I guess she really didn’t want to talk to me, not that I could blame her.

“I’ll meet you at the diner at one if that’s okay.” I said this realizing my fingers were still crossed.

“Yeah, that’ll work but I can’t talk to long you know some of us have jobs and we’re a waitress short so my shift starts at two.”

“That’s fine I have tutoring at two thirty anyways.”

“I’m gonna go back to bed now it’s still to early.” She said this while stifling a yawn.

“Kay, I’ll see you then.” I said this even though I didn’t really want to hang up the phone.

“Bye,” was her reply and I heard her phone click.

I was disappointed but I couldn’t expect to win back my friend with a ten minute phone call. I had some serious explaining and begging to do. I could only hope that with time she would forgive me.