colours of viridian | BOOK ONE | J a d e d ✔️

S t a y

S o n g : H e y , S t a y - K i e r a n M e r c e r

C h a p t e r XXXVIII
V i r i d i a n

I briefly wondered if Kenna had gotten anywhere with the research as I stepped back into the house after buying some food for her. I would have to go find Miguel if he kept this disappearing act up; grocery shopping wasn't something royalty should have to do. It felt like a joke. Vampires buying human food was funny enough.

"Kenna, you up?" I yelled out towards the steps as I continued down the hall to the kitchen.

"Viridian?" Kenna's soft voice spoke out, causing me to spin around in worry as I heard the fear in her voice.

She was lying on the couch, her body curled up tight while her green eyes poured salty tears down her pink cheeks. My eyebrows shot up immediately as I leaned down to her height. Searching frantically for the cause, my hand caressed her warm pale skin.

"You..." I started in a breathless manor as she suddenly pulled me into her embrace. "What's happening to you?" My own arms encircled her, feeling her tears hit my neck without the burning sensation I was now so used to.

"It's all disappearing." She whimpered, "The markings are almost completely gone. I'm-" she stopped, clutching me tighter.

"You're turning back into a human." I finished for her, my voice far away as I tried to understand what this would mean if it were permanent.

I pulled away from her before standing up and backing away. I could hurt her now. I could kill her. My back hit the glass door as my brain shot through everything in an instant. If she was turned back into a human, rules stated she wouldn't be allowed to know about any of this. I couldn't compel her to forget --even if I could she had nowhere to go. What would I do? If she was human would it even really be best for her if she stayed with a vampire? But she no longer existed in the human world; what did this mean for her?

"Don't leave me." She whispered suddenly, ruining my panicked trance as she came back into view. "Stay and help me, Viridian. Please." Her eyes shut in defeat.

She pulled her knees up to her chin as she held onto her left leg with the lightly faded swirls. She looked so scared and confused. I couldn't leave her like this.

I walked cautiously back over, cupping her face delicately in my hands as her beautiful hazel eyes fluttered back open. "I'll fix it." I crouched down, placing soft kisses on the markings on her leg as I took hold of her hands.

She chewed her bottom lip while her eyebrows pinched together worriedly. "What if you can't?" She mumbled, "Will you leave me?"

I frowned determinedly, "I will fix it. I made you a promise -I gave you my word." I quickly kissed her lips to stop her from saying anything else. It was too complicated to think about. If I fixed her I could stay with her and if I couldn't --I didn't know what would happen. I just knew I couldn't ever hurt her again. I promised her I would never hurt her, no matter what. If being with me was a risk, how could I do that to her? "I'll contact my sister, okay? Maybe she knows a spell to stop the transformation." I nodded my head, standing up again as Kenna looked at me with a spark of hope in her eyes.

She wiped away her tears, once again showing her strength as she pushed back her fear. "I'm going to the forest." Her voice was hard and stubborn --she wouldn't change her mind about this. I watched her warily as she stood up and pulled down my green t-shirt she was wearing so it would cover her thighs.

I shook my head, "Don't do it." I grabbed her wrist before she could walk away. She scowled at me, my insides cringing from her ferociousness. "-without me." I added on quickly, knowing she would argue until she was blue in the face otherwise.

Her serious greenish eyes studied me for a moment before releasing a breath, "Okay. But unless I tell you to help me; don't. Even if it hurts me again." She stood directly in front of me, clutching the material on my chest. "You have to promise me you will let me be in pain until -and only until- I can't take it anymore. I need to try to contact my sister or somebody who's like me. They are the only ones able to tell me what's happening." Her fists tugged me closer, closing the distance between us as she pressed her chest against my abs. "Give me your word that even if I'm in agony, you won't help me." Her face was raised up to look me directly in my eyes.

I didn't like it. The promise was making an exception to my other promise to never hurt her again. Entangling my fingers into her hair, I desperately pulled her into another kiss. My tongue tasted her sweetness as my mind tried to go through the list of pros and cons. Pro: if she was able to reach contact with someone they might tell her everything we've been trying to find out. We might be able to keep her the way she is. Con: she might be in agonizing pain for nothing and nothing will change. Her heart would break all over again.

She continued to let me kiss her, pulling her closer to me as if trying to keep her from all of the uncertainty outside of my arms. She put her arms around my neck, bringing herself up as she jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist while I held her thighs. She took control of the kiss, biting on my bottom lip as she yanked it gently. With one last simple kiss on my lips, she pulled herself away, capturing my eyes instantly as we opened them. She watched me knowingly, waiting for my answer.

Swallowing, I nodded. I just couldn't let her go. It was selfish and I should have wanted to keep her away from harm more than wanting to keep her in my arms --but I didn't. I needed her to stay. I couldn't lose her again. "Okay." I whispered, my voice quiet with sadness laced into it. How could I do this to her?

She leaned her forehead onto mine, hugging me tightly. "It's what I want, Viridian." She said in a small voice, "Don't hate yourself for wanting what I want."

I shook my head as I closed my eyes. "You're going to be in pain, Kenna. How could I let you put yourself through that for something that I want?" I really was selfish. Even with somebody as pure and perfect as Kenna. Would I even be able to leave her if she was turned back to a human? Would I be able to put her needs before my own?

It was quiet for a moment as we both mentally prepared for what was about to happen to her. "If what you want is me..." She spoke suddenly and unsurely, "then I forgive your selfishness." I felt her soft lips press against the side of my face as I blinked my eyes open in surprise, "I would risk pain to be able to stay with you." She confessed into my ear barely audibly as I stayed silent. She moved her head down to the crook of my neck, her warm breath tickling my skin, "But even so, I'm also doing this for myself. I need to know what I am and what's happening to me. I would rather not be alone when I do. It's what I want -what I need. So it's okay to be a little selfish if it's about wanting to keep me for yourself." She finished unconfidently in a whisper, her face still hidden from my view.

My arms encircled her torso, holding her even closer to me as she clung to me tightly like a little monkey. "It doesn't make it okay. But..."

My jaw clenched. It felt weird to say the words out loud. We never talked like this. Our feelings about one another were unspoken if they even existed. But I needed to explain to her my reasons of selfishness; even if it didn't make it right. She had to at least know.

"I need you, Kenna. I need you to stay with me." My voice was but a mumble into her soft hair.

She was once again quiet, allowing the silence to fill the room as I held my breath suddenly nervously.

"I need you too." She finally admitted just as pathetically as I while we held each other unseeingly; still in denial as we let the words fall silently to the wind.

But even so, I didn't think I would ever be able to leave her again -human or not.

†⚜†

Awe, they need each other <3
I wonder what's up with Kenna! Why's she changing back?
Thanks for reading :D