colours of viridian | BOOK ONE | J a d e d ✔️

H e a r t a c h e

S o n g : F r o m W h e r e Y o u A r e - L i f e h o u s e

C h a p t e r XXXVII
K e n a d i a

I loved being with Viridian. It was like when I was with him I didn't need anything else, like I would be okay with just being with him. He took care of me and he kept his promise. He was sweet even if he wasn't the perfect gentleman.

But when he wasn't there suddenly my little perfect world would come crashing down; revealing my sad reality.

I missed everyone. My mom, my dad, my little siblings; they were my family and they just forgot about me. It wasn't in the same level as when the forest broke my heart, but it was still heartbreaking. When it came to the forest my heart ached as if every life I lived were aching with me; it was the one and only constant thing in each of my lives and losing it was like losing my actual beating bloody heart. It was numbing and painful at the same time. And yet I still had the capability to mourn for my one little life's memories.

I stared up at the ceiling as I laid motionlessly on the couch. My eyes quickly dampened as my chest tightened from the memories of my beautiful forgotten life. My brothers and I on that one camping trip -how they crawled into my tent all scared when the storm raged on outside. How I whispered encouraging things and told them I'd always be there for them when they got frightened. Who would be there for them now?

Why was this happening to me? What did I do to deserve being forgotten by my entire family? I didn't even care if they weren't blood related; they raised me and loved me. They were my family.

My insides violently tangled as I curled into myself on my side to stop the breathless feeling coursing throughout my body. I felt so far away from everybody. I just wanted mom to wrap me in her arms and tell me a story about her life, somehow squeezing in a life lesson at the end as she tried to cheer me up. I wanted dad to stand at my doorway with that grave 'how the heck do I comfort my 20-year-old daughter' look in his expression. I wanted them to worry about me again and bug me to call them and come see them soon.

I missed them so much. It hurt so bad. It was all so hopeless. I could no longer trick myself into believing they would gain all of their erased memories back eventually. They wouldn't. I was a nobody to them.

My hand clenched into a ball as I felt myself grow enraged. It wasn't fair. I sat up wiping the streaming never ending tears off of my face. Bringing my knees up, I tried to remember how to breathe in oxygen. I was still alive: wasn't that enough for me? I was murdered, yet I had this second chance. Why wasn't that enough?

I knew the answer. But it was almost too painful to acknowledge it. If everyone I loved forgot about me... What was the point to even being alive?

The moment the morbid thought rolled through my mind, my entire body began to burn --like my mere existence was finally being erased for good this time. And maybe it was for the better.

†⚜†

Sorry it's so depressing and short!
I had to show how Kenna was feeling.
Thanks for reading xx