The Mnemophobic

Chapter 38

Serenitys point of view

Dying; It's really not that bad, in fact in an insane world, it is almost peaceful. The closest thing that comes to it in my experience is falling asleep. You don't realize it, you don't feel it, you don't resist it. Dying is the greatest of all retreats, where you are completely safe, well, that is until someone forces you back in to this short meaningless life.

To say that dying was scary or painful would be a complete lie.

Back in to reality and the first thing I felt was a riveting pain chest. I wasn't even fully awake and that's how the world decided to welcome me back.

The cottage was where I was fully revitalized and when I had regained control over all my senses I asked of only one thing. "Take. Me. Home. Now."

To Grandpa, Ryan, basically everyone including Xavier, this was just a freak accident. The structure wasn't stable after all those years, but I knew better than to stop there. Everything that had happened, everything that was happening so no accident in any way. It was all leading me somewhere, but where?

Life plays its hand hard but I did not want to be subjected to that anymore. In simple words, I merely wanted to erase the memories that I carried with me through all these years because the way I looked at it now, I had a family. A beautiful one at that. James and the Norths had taken a lot of time and I knew they were out there but what was the point? When would it end?

Why was I paying more attention to my wrong doers rather than the people I cherished? They has taken up too much of my time, but not anymore.

In my mind, and in his we had accepted eachother on all terms but did well to keep it to ourselves. It felt good - to have someone always there for you and you only. Xavier was that person for me.

I sat by the pool the night Nan left with my legs knee deep in water and Dawn sleeping down on my lap. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I gasped before turning around.

"Ugh, don't do tha-ouch." I hissed before holding my chest that didn't approve of my sudden movement.

He chuckled and sat besides me. "Sorry."

"Why are you here?" I just had to ask, although his presence did make everything a tad more secure he had had enough time with me this week. Regardless, I liked it.

He pulled me in so that I was just resting on his chest. "You're so lonely thats why."

"Actually," I pointed to Dawn. "I have company."

He looked to my side an saw my little angel snoring away. He got that bit from his father.

"That, doesn't count" We laughed.

"You miss Nan?" I dug my back in to his chest even more and got a sensational whiz of his cologne.

"Who doesn't?" He loosened his sleek navy blue tie. "That woman is a unique character!"

"Yeah." I really didn't feel like talking, I just wanted to stay there, in that moment.

"Umm, what did she say to you?" He asked dropping me down from his chest and repositioned me in his lap so that Dawn was on my lap and I was on his. He now looked down at me, reading me like an open book. It was best not to lie.

"She said that you're stubborn but you have a goodish heart maybe." I giggled.

He leaned down till I felt his breath on my face and butterflies up my stomach. "Really?" He grinned.

"Maybe.."

"What do you think of me?"

"In one word?"

"Yeah."

"Annoying." I sang it through to the last letter to which ge dropped a handful of water on me.

"That wasn't nice." I made a face running my fingers through my hair.

"I can fix that." He leaned down even further and locked my eyes in to his. My hands spread across his shirt to his shoulder feel and intense urge to pull him down. Our lips were in close proximity and his lips were just about to collide with mine. "No."

I gasped and pushed him back a few inches with my hand. My head screamed it. "No, no, no."

"What's wrong?" He looked puzzled and had every right to be. Guilt flooded my veins as I squeaked. "Not now.."

I hid my hands with my face. He had every right to be mad, I felt him pulling me off thats when I jerked up and wrapped my arms around his neck crushing our bodies together. "I'm sorry."

He didn't return my hug and merely patted my back. "No rush."

Rush? It was four months that I've known him but for some reason I couldn't pull him closer. There was a flash of wild light that had me break the hug. "What was that?" I whispered.

He looked overly concerned. "Tell me what's going on Xavi?"

He tried to break away from me  but I refused to let him go. "Information now."

Yells emerged from the house that made us get on our feet. Xavier took Dawn, and called the help to put him in his room I entangled my arms with his pulling on it. "Xavi?"

He didn't answer but didn't order me to stay either. We rushed in hand in hand to see Hudson limping, clearly drunk by his behaiviour, about in the kitchen and Grandpa standing red hot just a few meters away.

He threw the plate off the counter as we witnessed what was happening.

"I say this because I care." I could hear the distress in his voice.

"Care? You order me around and threaten me and say you care?" His eyes radiated fury. The alcohol did well to enhance that effect. "Well scr*w you a*****e."

His last words came out even colder than the last. "Do us a favour and drop dead."

"Hudson!" I shouted with all my might. Hearing someone, anyone, say that to Grandpa was unacceptable.

Xavier left my side and ran towards the ever so unstable Hudson. "Get off you a**!"

Xavier had him in a shoulder-lock kneeling on the ground. "You ruined everything!!"

Grandpa struggled to find his feet. He was hurt by Hudsons sharp words. His eyes were going to give way. I rushed towards him but Hudson broke free and tackled him pushing him over in to Clydes arms.

"Hudson!" I screamed and let myself loose. My hand hit his face hard causing him to tumble over.

I hissed at him. "Don't. You. Dare."