50 Days

Day 33

AN: this took me longer to update than expected, but things gone wrong lately and I cba to write on this story. Also practiced some smut writing, just for your information.  :)

have fun, love y'all!

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It was dark outside when I woke up and the bed was empty and cold. Jensen had left. Of course he had. He had panicked and left. We should have talked instead of acting as if we're okay.
I sighed and sat up, stupidly hopeful searching the room for him. It surprised me when I saw that the light in the bathroom was shining lightly through the crack of the open door. Without thinking twice, I got up and padded through the room. The closer I got the more I could here noises. He was talking to someone, whispering every word. It sounded like a fight or argument and it made me uncomfortable. I didn't want to eavesdrop.

"You don't listen to me-" "No-" "I never-" "Jesus christ-" He sighed and it sounded lick he kicked the bathtub with his foot. "Danneel!"

I swallowed hard. This wasn't right. He had told her. She was freaking out. No no no.

"I love you-" "Yes, only you!" "He doesn't-" "Misha never-" "I never said that!" "Oh, come on-" "Don't talk to me like th-" "I said I loved you and only you!"

My heart sank. It wasn't like I didn't knew this, but hearing it hurt more than I expected. I trotted back to the bed and pulled the blanket over my head. What had I expected? We both were married. We both didn't talk this out. We ignored the issue and made things worse every time we were together.
The sting behind my eyes intensified.
We had to stop this and it sounded like he had already made this decision without asking me.

I felt him slipping under the blanket, curling an arm around my chest and pulling me closer. Tears fell down my cheek and I forced myself back to sleep.

~

The next time I woke up Jensen was still behind me, our legs tangled. He was so close and I could feel his hot breath against my neck.

"Are you awake," he asked, whispering the words.

I nodded and grabbed his hand. He got the wrong idea and intertwined our fingers.

"It's still early, we won't leave until 12," he said, kissing my neck softly. "Anything you wanna do?"

My body tingled, every nerve ending was on fire and it made it hard for me to breathe properly. This was one hell of an emotional roller coaster. "I need a shower." My voice sounded softer than I had intended to. The words from last night still cutting through my mind.

"Mmh, we should take a shower then."

"What in the ever loving fuck?" I turned around and pushed him away, ignoring the pain in my wrist. "You don't have to do this, Jensen."

He titled his head, eyes wide in shock. "Do what?"

"Pretending you like this." I motioned between me and him. "I don't need your pity."

"Pity?" He seemed so confused it made me wanna punch him.

"I'm not stupid. I heard what you said last night, Jensen." He squinted his eyes. "You were on the phone with Danneel and I ... I unintentionally listened." I dropped my head, running a hand through my hair. Why did this feel like a break up.

He huffed. "Unintentionally huh? Don't jump to conclusions only by what you've heard without knowing the full story."

When I didn't respond, he took my face in his hands and made me look at him. "I don't want to lose you, please hear me out?"