I Knew You Were Trouble - (Fransykes)

Chapter ten

Oli's POV

Light begun filling up the room as the sun started to rise in the early hours of the morning. For hours I couldn't switch off my mind as a load of unwanted thoughts kept running through my head like a broken record. I've shuffled, I've twisted and turned all night but I couldn't get myself to switch off and stop. For once I just wanted to be a normal human being and sleep but my fucked up body couldn't even do that.

My mind was gradually eating away at me and I'd refuse to sleep. I couldn't sleep, how could I when my body was afraid of the demons and horrors which waited for me to fall under its spell and take me alive. Sleep is just a cousin of death and the nightmares were it's henchmen. The second you let your guard down and fall under it's slumber they creep into your mind and take over your body and soul and there's nothing you can do but hope for a miracle to save you from this nightmare.

I lent my trembling body against the wall while my teeth grinded against each other. It was a nasty habit of mine but it's been two days since I last had a fix for Tom's sake, but shamefully I'm beginning to lose it. My body was starting to go into comedown mode and I was definitely  nowhere prepared for that to happen nor would I let it.

In the mean time, I chose to try a different approach to distract myself and flickered my eyes to the beautiful boy lying in bed next to me. He was lying on his stomach facing me with his hands tucked underneath the pillow. His face sunken into the sheets as he slept peacefully, occasionally letting little sounds slip from his parted lips. I smile to myself at his unknown cuteness.

I often watch Josh sleep; I find it rather fascinating and sometimes even calming. I'm still unsure of how someone so stunning and innocent can have this much of an effect on me. He was just a kid. But there was something about him which always made me come back to him. No matter how many times I left with no intention on seeing him again, I always find myself coming back for more and its so bloody frustrating because I have no idea why.

I clench my jaw harshly at the frustration and overwhelming feeling of needing a fix. My eyes fix themselves on Josh as I tried to ignore the anger and nagging voice in my head for what my body so desperately screamed out for the most. Both of my hands were clenched into balls of fists and my body began to shake more fiercely as I did everything I could to hold back my addiction.

But I was feeling myself slipping and any minute now I knew I would snap and the ugly monster which desperately craved the hardcore drugs wouldn't be so pleasant to be around. Not like, i'm pleasant to be around anyway, but from craving a fix this bad it could turn ugly.

I didn't want to risk Josh waking up and witnessing me like this, I would never forgive myself if I hurt him. This is the one state I'd never want him to find me in.

A low unexpected growl of frustration slip past my lips, my entire body shook and suddenly I was breathless and only had one thing on my mind. Cocaine. I slipped. I needed to leave. Now.

I carefully climb over Josh's sleeping body so I wouldn't wake him up and quickly got dressed. I slipped on my shoes and I hurriedly crept over to the door but as soon as my hand reaches for the handle, a sleepy voice stops me from taking my exit.

"Oli?" 

I jump back from the door and spin around at the husky morning voice which called my name. My heart racing in fear and wide paranoid eyes set themselves on a very cute sleepy looking Josh.