missing | gilinsky

41

Jack Johnson

I'm mad.

Actually, I'm more than mad. I'm livid.

After everything we've been through this is the last thing I expected Gilinsky to do. I figured he wasn't that kind of guy. I guess I didn't know him as well as I thought. 

"What the fuck?" I repeat, taking large strides to get to my sister. I shove Gilinsky farther away from her and glare at him. The amount of adrenaline I feel right now can't be safe.

"J, calm down," Gilinsky warns, waving his arms in defense. 

"Calm down? This whole time I thought you were here and protecting her - I trusted you. Come to find you're just trying to get in her pants! Or maybe you already have!?" I want to throw up at the thought. 

Gilinsky tenses and I don't know what comes over me when I'm letting my fist find his face. 

"Jack!" Nadia opposes. "No!"

Stumbling back, Gilinsky holds a hand to his left eye, his jaw slacked. "Don't do this shit."

"Oh, don't do this shit?" I scoff. "How about you don't do my sister, asshole."

That's when Nadia comes up behind me and hits me square in the back of the head. "He isn't doing me. You're the asshole right now."

I swirl around to face her, and the glare on my face suddenly vanishes. Her eyes are wide and she's frowning. She looks sad and disappointed and I can't help but start to feel guilty. I haven't seen that face of hers in so long and for some reason it hurts more than it used to. 

"What's the problem here?" She questions. 

I open my mouth to speak but I can't think of anything to say. Suddenly, all my anger is gone, and all that's left is confusion. "How long has this been....what's even..." 

Gilinsky places a hand on my shoulder and I can tell he's forgiven me for what I just did, but I'm not sure if he should. I hit him pretty hard. I turn to him and give him a sheepish smile, feeling like such a phony. 

"Sorry," I mutter. 

He shrugs. "It's cool dude." 

And that's when I remember why I became friends with him in the first place, and I know he'd never do anything to hurt Nadia or hurt me. I acted on impulse, like I usually do, which sucks. 

That's how I ended up in this whole situation in the first place. Me, being the dumbass I am, decided that I was going to figure out who killed Dad and I was going to do it before I turned 20. So once my 19th birthday rolled around I packed up and got out of there without another thought. 

Here I am, a few months later and I've gotten literally nothing accomplished. I don't think Dad would be proud right now, and that hurts the most. Instantly, I think about Mom and everything she's been through. I can't believe I left her high and dry like that, I can't believe I left Nadia too. 

I really have no idea what I was thinking, and I find myself longing to get home. But there's still a part of me that doesn't want to go back to Omaha ever again, and I know it's stupid, but I feel like I'm passed all that in a way. My past is my past and I have no desire to relive it. 

"I didn't mean for it to happen," Nadia tells me, intruding on my conflicted thought process. It takes me a second to realize she's talking about her and Gilinsky. 

"It just sort of did," he agreed, shrugging. They're both red as hell and I can't help but laugh. 

"So, what? You're boyfriend and girlfriend?" Nadia looks to the ground, I look to G for guidance but he's looking down at the ground too. "Fuck buddies?" I cringe at my own words.